What to expect from the birth

Common emotions after childbirth include elation, exhaustion, relief, a sense of achievement and pride – after all, you’ve just brought a new tiny human into the world!

But if the birth is different to how you’d hoped or imagined – harder, longer or more painful, for example – you might end up feeling distressed or disappointed.

Things to keep in mind 

There is no one ‘right’ way to give birth, it's different for everyone and things often don’t go according to plan. Parents don’t always instantly fall in love with their baby – it may take some time after the birth (especially after a very long or difficult birth) and it’s very common to feel emotional and overwhelmed. 

Everyone will have an opinion on the best way to do things – from friends, family and colleagues to strangers in the supermarket. While information and advice can be useful, make sure you’re doing what’s right for you and what you feel comfortable with.

Everyone, from people at work to strangers down the street were offering their expert advice on pregnancy and motherhood and how you ‘should’ feel.

Birth can be difficult 

There are other factors that can make birth more difficult, including: 

• complications during pregnancy and/or when giving birth
• the birth involves more medical intervention, pain or time than you expected
• your baby arrives late or early, especially if it is very premature and needs to stay in a neonatal intensive care unit
• you don’t feel supported or acknowledged, or feel that no one listened to you during the birth
• ·not being able to access culturally sensitive services or welcome your baby in the traditional way
• you have more than one baby
• problems with your baby’s health
• not feeling an immediate bond with your baby. 

Emotional responses following the birth — the ‘baby blues’

As well as the range of emotions you’re likely to experience during or following the birth, many women get the ‘baby blues’ in the first few days after childbirth. Signs of the baby blues include being teary, irritable or oversensitive in your interactions with others, and having lots of mood changes. The baby blues are not the same thing as postnatal depression and usually disappear within a few days without treatment, other than support and understanding. If these feelings don’t go away after a couple of weeks, it may be a sign of something more serious – like depression or anxiety – and if so, you may need treatment.

Key messages for partners preparing for the birth

• Your partner will need your support and assistance. Being there physically and emotionally is important.

• Don’t have too many expectations of yourself – there may be situations beyond your control where it’s hard for you to do anything for your partner but be there for her.

• Be aware of what type of birth your partner wants and be prepared to make some important decisions during the birth, either with your partner or on her behalf.