Single mum of 2 babies only 13months apart

by AshQLD on  20 December 2014
My name is Ashleigh, and I'm a single mum to 2 gorgeous babies. Maddison is 18months old and chase is 5months old. A few weeks after chase was born and reality set in I started to get quite depressed an anxious. I was already seeing a early intervention parenting psychologist on request from social workers and midwives at the hospital even though I felt no need at the time. I was still living in a high from having my baby. As the weeks went by and life become harder and harder with 2 needy babies that relied solely on me, I started to become depressed. Feeling alone, feeling like no one understand what I was going through, feeling like no one was helping or listening, feeling like I wasn't getting anything done. My self esteem was getting low as I was putting on heaps of weight, and due to breast feeding my breast had become insanely huge and I hated the way I looked. Being and emotional eater didn't help the situation either. I was having a horrible time feeding chase because he was wanting to feed every 2hrs. It was mentally and physically exhausting. Trying to feed that often and find the time to look after Maddison drove me crazy. I couldn't do both at once. Maddison started to misbehave every time I picked up chase, making my house look like a bomb site. Some days I would just cry and cry, other days I just got so upset I wanted to drop my kids off at the police station and just walk away for good. I wanted to run away, I didn't want them anymore and I felt like I wouldn't miss them or feel guilty. Every morning when they woke me up, I resented them being there. I just wanted to sleep and they wouldn't let me. I'm now on medication and even though things are still hard at times, I'm definitely doing much better. I still have a long way to go on the road to recovery, but if it wasn't for people recognising the signs I wouldn't have received the help I so desperately needed. I still find that people aren't very understanding of mental health issues because of the stigma that surrounds it, and that's why I choose to SPEAK UP!

Just Speak Up

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