Hi 20girl101 I am glad you were able to go for a drive and enjoy the fresh air. I'm not going to lie its has been a difficult road and I still struggle at times. I will give you a brief background of my experience and it might be able to assist you a little.
I have struggled with anxiety for many years and it used to focus itself primarily on my employment. I have been in a job I enjoy for a couple of years now and my anxiety was silenced as I was happy there. So in my opinion my anxiety was looking for another area of my life to focus on and out of the blue one day it decided that was my relationships.
Exactly as you have mentioned it started with one intrusive thought and spiraled from there to the point where I had convinced myself I was going to leave my husband. We have been together for 14 years and married for almost 7 and prior to this I had never questioned my relationship. He is a beautiful person and treats me very well. To cut a long story short I had a complete breakdown and had to build myself back up. I think it effected me so much because the anxiety knew my marriage was important to me and if fed off that. It was winning the battle.
We are still together and with a combination of seeing my gp, medication, individual counselling and also some couples counselling we/I have come along way. Our anxiety tells us to give up on what is making us anxious so we can feel better in the short term. I have given in so many times before for example quit jobs etc, but I knew this was too important to me and made the choice to fight back. It has taken work but has been worth it. You have said you love him and he is amazing so deep down you know it is worth it, anxiety can be a very powerful force when we give it the fuel it needs. I wish you all the best for Monday and I really believe talking it through with someone will help give you some clarity. Take Care