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by Quercus
23 minutes ago
Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers)

Space for sharing tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing with other carers.

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by Sophie_M
13 hours ago
Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family, and friendships.

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by white knight
10 minutes ago
Anxiety

Space for discussion of generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety, phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, and eating disorders.

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by Rainbow Swan
1 hour ago
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Space for discussion of major depression, bipolar disorder, cyclothymic and dysthymic disorders, and BPD (borderline personality disorder).

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Space for people aged 12-25 to discuss life and wellbeing issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other.

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by Not_Batman
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Grief and loss

Support following the bereavement of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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by pl515p1
13 hours ago

Topic: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FINDS INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS COMPLETELY ANNOYING !!? IF YES, PLS SHARE YOUR STORY :) IM NOT COPING :(

  1. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Well done! I’m so proud of you.... yes stay off online.... wait until your phycologist appointment... they are the people who can help you... go from there.... 😊 yes focus on the positive... do something nice for yourself today... paint your nails or do something you enjoy.... if you are aloud out to be outside go outside and enjoy the fresh air and the sun on your body.... it’s the simple things in life that we can enjoy and be grateful for 😊

    I’m here if you want to chat

  2. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    I will go for a walk later with my partner and just enjoy being out. I can't wait to get over this, I want to just focus on the future and think positive things again πŸ’“
  3. Petal22
    blueVoices member
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    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Ok sounds great... enjoy your walk... 😊

    You will get through this.... stay positive.... things WILL get better.... a storm never lasts forever the sunshine will come out again 😊

  4. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    I will keep you updated once I come back from my walk. Thank you so much for the support. ❀️❀️
  5. Petal22
    blueVoices member
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    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101
    Ok, no worries πŸ˜‰πŸ˜Š
  6. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    Went for a drive instead, with the windows down and just enjoyed the fresh air today. I've stumbled onto a blog that talks about Relationship Anxiety (listed above), it's so crazy how people are thinking and going through the same thing. I'm keeping a positive mindset. No more looking online.
  7. Petal22
    blueVoices member
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    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101
    A drive would have been nice 😊 thats GREAT you are keeping a positive mind set.... 😊 well done .... yes it’s nice to know other people are going through the same things... and it’s not just us.... I remember when I did my therapy before it started I said to one of the trainees am I the only one like this? She replied no ..... there are many others.... and then when I started with my group of people who had ocd it was a relief for me to know I wasn’t alone..... and you too are never alone.... there will always be someone else going through the same thing... 😊 I am so grateful we have such amazing health professionals that can help us 😊
  8. vixstar
    vixstar avatar
    21 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Hi 20girl101 I am glad you were able to go for a drive and enjoy the fresh air. I'm not going to lie its has been a difficult road and I still struggle at times. I will give you a brief background of my experience and it might be able to assist you a little.

    I have struggled with anxiety for many years and it used to focus itself primarily on my employment. I have been in a job I enjoy for a couple of years now and my anxiety was silenced as I was happy there. So in my opinion my anxiety was looking for another area of my life to focus on and out of the blue one day it decided that was my relationships.

    Exactly as you have mentioned it started with one intrusive thought and spiraled from there to the point where I had convinced myself I was going to leave my husband. We have been together for 14 years and married for almost 7 and prior to this I had never questioned my relationship. He is a beautiful person and treats me very well. To cut a long story short I had a complete breakdown and had to build myself back up. I think it effected me so much because the anxiety knew my marriage was important to me and if fed off that. It was winning the battle.

    We are still together and with a combination of seeing my gp, medication, individual counselling and also some couples counselling we/I have come along way. Our anxiety tells us to give up on what is making us anxious so we can feel better in the short term. I have given in so many times before for example quit jobs etc, but I knew this was too important to me and made the choice to fight back. It has taken work but has been worth it. You have said you love him and he is amazing so deep down you know it is worth it, anxiety can be a very powerful force when we give it the fuel it needs. I wish you all the best for Monday and I really believe talking it through with someone will help give you some clarity. Take Care

  9. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to vixstar

    I understand where you are coming from. I was in a good job last year and ended up quitting due to a workplace issue and it was the worst mistake ever, I should have taken it further and stayed. Ever since then I had become anxious, and I am unemployed now due to COVID-19 laws in Melbourne. I am also unable to start uni again due to COVID and I'm just at home with my thoughts and from one thought, it has all spiralled out of control. There will be times of clarity where I genuinely feel the love and I feel ok but then I will just doubt and second guess. "What if it isn't relationship anxiety?", I do believe it is though because I love my boyfriend and I genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know he isn't perfect, but everyone has flaws and I accept him for the way he is. We have a connection and I just want to get back to my normal self.

    I truly think from having no job and no uni and nothing to balance it has caused anxiety on my relationship. I don't doubt that for a second. I just need to try and not get worked up and lost in my nonsense thoughts. I want to work it out with him and try and move forward because he definitely is worth it all. I also find relief in the fact that if I didn't love him I wouldn't be fighting this at all.

    20girl101

  10. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    I hope my psychologist can understand and identify that it is relationship anxiety, I'm afraid she will say "maybe you shouldn't be with this person" because I know I want to be with him.
  11. Petal22
    blueVoices member
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    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Your phycologist will be able to help you...... YOU are in the drivers seat of your decisions no one else can make your decisions...... you know what’s best for you and what you want 😊

    stay positive, I’m here for a chat 😊

  12. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    I will get through this! Just no overthinking, I've found that searching online is definitely a major problem and i'm glad that i've stopped that.
    1 person found this helpful
  13. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101
    Yes you will get through this 😊 that’s great you have stopped looking on line..... so glad you can see an improvement 😊 keep it up 😊
    1 person found this helpful
  14. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    Will take a while to get there and I know I will have good and bad days but I'm willing to work on it ☺️ I know I WILL get better, this is just a bump in the road.
  15. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101
    I love hearing your positivity... 😊 well done keep your positive mind set.... 😊 yes you will have good days and bad days but eventually the good ones will put weigh the bad ones 😊 good for you .... you are willing to work on it that’s fantastic.... we can all learn.... if we open our minds to learning😊 I’m sure you are going to do great πŸ’ͺ
  16. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    I'm going to come out a better person as well, more loving and more showing. I am the type of person to not really express my feelings, like when my parents say they love me, I barely say it back. Like AT ALL. My boyfriend is the first person I've really said it to and I guess in a way it was a huge step for me. I need to open my heart and not be afraid.
  17. Petal22
    blueVoices member
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    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Well done, that’s great you are thinking of the ways you are going to better yourself.... 😊 life is too short not to tell the people we love that we LOVE them.... 😊 we are all capable of changing ourselves in positive ways 😊I’m sure you will do this 😊 don’t forget to love yourself aswell once we can love ourselves the more love we can give to others 😊

    I know when I went through my experience with mental health it changed me for the better... at the time I didn’t realise what blessings were coming my way 😊 we can all turn from caterpillars to butterflies in our own time 😊

  18. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Petal22

    I really love your outlook on life, it's empowering and you've helped me so much! I can't wait to see the psychologist on Monday, just to talk to a professional will do good I believe. I know all this crazy stuff is in my head.

  19. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Thank you ... I believe we all have the power within ourselves to change our outlook on life to be what ever we want it to be😊 Our mind sets can always be changed in a positive way 😊 and we can do this ourselves 😊 it makes me happy to know that I have helped you 😊 It’s something I always hope to do😊 So glad you are looking forward to seeing your phycologist 😊 yes it will be great for you to talk to her 😊

    I’m here for a chat

    1 person found this helpful
  20. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    Thank you so much! Have a good night, I will check in tomorrow xx
  21. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101
    Ok no worries πŸ˜‰ you have a good night too 😊 ok chat tomorrow x
  22. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    Slept somewhat through the night, went to bed around 1 am and woke up at 7 ish, I'm feeling a little bit better. Trying to not engage with the thoughts, will go for another drive or walk today ☺️
  23. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101
    That’s great you had a sleep....glad you are feeling a bit better 😊 that’s awesome your not trying to engage in the thoughts... it takes practice but you will get there.... awesome a walk or a drive 😊 keep busy even if you try adult colouring in or reading a book 😊
  24. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    Just trying to let the thought flow and go away. The thoughts have slowed down, I still get "Do you love him?" thought but still want to give hugs and kisses so it reassures me. I know it's all in my head. Trying to get over this wall. Very excited to go speak to the psychologist.
  25. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Just let that thought come in and go out don’t give it your attention 😊

    not long to go now until your phycologist 😊

  26. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    233 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    That’s great that the thoughts have slowed down 😊 the less attention we give them the more they won’t stick around.... the brain thinks the ones we give attention to are important so they keep coming back ....

    that’s awesome yes disregard the thought don’t let it make you withdraw keep doing what you would usually do ... your winning not your thoughts and anxiety 😊

    keep up the good work... stay strong πŸ’ͺ

  27. Sandro
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Sandro avatar
    8 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Hi 20girl101

    I sympathise and totally understand and sounds like your relationship is great and a positive thing in your life. I have had intrusive rumminating thoughts for the last 10 years due past experiences, along with BPD, anxiety, depression and OCD, you could say its been quite a ride and at one stage didn't think id make it through to the other side but with persistence fortunately I have, in saying this though I'm still prone to my down days. But with the right help & support, showing yourself loving kindness, meditation and even journaling ( positive journaling about who I am, what I want moving forward and giving myself encouragement in words ) I have been able to get on top of it. I have done DBT therapy and one of things it taught me was that those thoughts/ obsessions are not you and when I had an understanding of this I was able to seperate those thoughts from the real me and become aware when I was stuck in them. I don't want to get to in depth but Ive spent some time over the last 12 months on also doing some personal development stuff and I have also found that when you learn something that you find interesting and repeat it to yourself slowly slowly the ruinations/ obssessions get over ruled. The emotional roller coaster can be a bit of a bi*** but persist cause it does get better. Also take it from me stay away from Dr Goggle, it will only feed the thoughts and you will question everything which I'm sure you know is so energy sapping , I was so guilty of doing this as I was desperate for answers. Best to seek professional advice / support and get a clear diagnosis so you can take the steps in best possible treatment

    Good luck

    Sadro

  28. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    Thoughts have definitely slowed down! I'm staying positive and calm. Only 2 days now til I see the psychologist β˜ΊοΈπŸ‘πŸ»
  29. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to Sandro
    Thank you Sadro. It has been really hard and I have come to times where I got stuck in the loop and believed things that I knew weren't true, like for example "I don't love my boyfriend" Which makes no sense to me. I'm pushing those thoughts aside and despite my relationship anxiety I am pushing forward because I am genuinely happy with the man that I am with and have no intention of leaving him. I would only regret that. I definitely believe my depression and anxiety forced me further into the hole but I know now it's all in my head and not how I feel. I'm trying to stay strong and fight for my relationship. I guess that's what love really is. You have to fight for it and the more you fight the more you realise how much love is inside of you and how much love you can give ☺️
  30. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to Petal22
    I've also come to the conclusion that at this point, it's not doubts that I'm having it's just the issue with having the thoughts in my head, if that makes sense. It's like I know what I want and feel but the only issue is getting the thoughts of my head.
    1 person found this helpful

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