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Topic: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FINDS INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS COMPLETELY ANNOYING !!? IF YES, PLS SHARE YOUR STORY :) IM NOT COPING :(

  1. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    9 September 2020 in reply to Petal22

    Hey Petal,

    I sort of had a break through before. My boyfriend finished work and we had both decided today to not see eachother and see how I would hold up. I missed him so much. More than I even noticed. I told him to come over after work, which was around 9 ish. I was soooooo happy. LIKE I COULD NOT BELIEVE. All I felt was love and happiness, like I couldn't believe it. I was smiling so much, I hadn't realised that I missed him that much. He could see it as well, him being the smart ass he is goes "Now tell me you don't love me". I literally laughed at myself ! BECAUSE THE MOMENT OF CLARITY I WAS LOOKING FOR HAD FINALLY ARRIVED? I am so lucky to have him and I'm just in a really good spot right now. I will definitely tell the psychologist what happened and get her input.

    Thank you so much for the support xx Couldn't do it without you, I mean that.

  2. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    10 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    A very Good afternoon to you girl101...... that is absolutely wonderful ๐Ÿ˜Š Iโ€™m so happy for you ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Yes definitely you will look back and have a bit of a laugh at yourself..., at the thoughts that made you so anxious.... you realise they are โ€œ just thoughts โ€œ...... your boyfriend sounds great.... Iโ€™m happy he is so supportive of you ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Im happy to support you.... no worries at all ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Iโ€™m so happy I can help you ๐Ÿ˜Š

    I hope your phycologist appointment went well ๐Ÿ˜Š

  3. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    11 September 2020 in reply to Petal22

    I can feel myself getting better and the thoughts are slowly flowing away. I'll wake up in the morning and the thoughts start to come slowly but I remind myself and just say "I'm having the thought that I don't love my boyfriend" and then it just pretty much flows away. I know it's going to be a long process but I'm willing to work through this. Looking back, I have definitely come a long long long way. I'm staying positive and want to be hopeful for the future. I am scared of a relapse, but trying to stay calm and collected. Psych said my symptoms of depression were really high and why I would have not felt happiness or emotions. I also told her that its really hard to remember how the relationship was and how I acted before, and she said yeah that depression and anxiety can definitely distort your memory and it makes it harder to remember how you used to feel.

    Slowly getting better, I love my boyfriend and couldn't imagine being with anyone else.

    THANK YOU SO MUCH, ILL KEEP IN CONTACT XX

  4. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    11 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Hello 20girl101,

    Yes, you have come a long way ๐Ÿ˜Š Well done you should be proud of yourself ๐Ÿ˜Š thatโ€™s great with what you are doing with your thoughts... it will eventually disappear... just keep doing what you are doing ๐Ÿ˜Š
    I understand the fear of a relapse but be confident in yourself that you WILL be able to handle it if it ever arises... you are equipped with so many tools now and you have learned a lot to your credit and you have withheld the storm...perseverance pays off ..... and YOU have done that ๐Ÿ˜Š Iโ€™m sure you will have a lot of growth from this ๐Ÿ˜Š

    ok, I can understand what your phycologist has said she sounds great.... keep up your sessions ๐Ÿ˜Š

    I am so happy that you are getting better.... things will get better and better for you ๐Ÿ˜Š I can see how much you love your boyfriend thatโ€™s wonderful x itโ€™s wonderful that he is so understanding and supportive of you ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Iโ€™m so happy to help you ๐Ÿ˜Š Stay positive and keep moving forward x I know you will ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Yes please keep in contact Iโ€™d LOVE to hear how you are going ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Iโ€™m always here for a chat ๐Ÿ˜Š

  5. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    12 September 2020 in reply to Petal22

    I had a really great day yesterday, barely any thoughts. The thoughts today have come and gone, if I engage with them I know they will only get worse, so I'm observing them and allowing them to flow away. I have to keep doing that. I have to be strong and believe in myself. My partner is so great! I love him so much and he has been the greatest support. I know that with time, things will definitely get better. It's early in recovery but I know I will get there. The thoughts are just a thought and I'm not going to question them and dig the hole deeper.

    I will get over this in time. It might take a while, but I'm willing to fight for my relationship and the future.

  6. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    12 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Thatโ€™s great 20girl101 you are doing really well ๐Ÿ˜Š keep doing what you are doing .....your thoughts will eventually disappear.... yes stay strong and believe in yourself you can do this ๐Ÿ’ช you will be stronger for what you are going through ๐Ÿ˜Š

    thatโ€™s wonderful you love your boyfriend ๐Ÿ˜Š You are going to make it.... you WILL recover ..... keep going ๐Ÿ˜Š

    โ€ there will be a time when you will be able to reflect on the past and see the greater plan and the lessons that were designed to make youโ€ ๐Ÿ˜Š

    what you are going through wonโ€™t be for nothing you WILL grow from this ๐Ÿ˜Š

    keep in touch ๐Ÿ˜Š

  7. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    14 September 2020 in reply to Petal22
    I am definitely getting better. Slow and steady. The tools she has given me have helped quite a bit. I know it literally is all in my head ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป I have good moments and some not so good when I feel the thoughts slowly coming on but I pay no attention to them and just allow them to go in and out. I know it's all part of the recovery process ! I can't wait to get better, I definitely think going out and socialising with others once lockdown is over will definitely help !
  8. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    14 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Hello, ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Thats great that you are getting better ๐Ÿ˜Š itโ€™s great that you are making progress, so glad your phycologist has helped you ๐Ÿ˜Š you are doing great.... i understand the moments you have when the thoughts are coming on ... with practice things will go smoothly..., you have come a really long way and should be very proud of yourself ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Yes it will be great when your lockdown is finished so you can go out more and socialise it will definitely help you ๐Ÿ˜Š

    keep in touch ๐Ÿ˜Š

  9. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    15 September 2020 in reply to Petal22
    I'm trying to not let them get to me, I know it's going to be hard and a slow process but I know I can do it. I've realised that the thoughts get triggered when I'm really bored or when my boyfriend is being annoying. It's really hard at times but I'm not going to let them get the better of me. I know everything is going to be okay hopefully. Boredom is really bad for this situation. It doesn't help at all. I have a job trial in the next few weeks so I'm hoping that will get my mind off a few things. I just really don't want to give up and I don't think I will.
  10. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    15 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Good for you ๐Ÿ˜Š stay determined ๐Ÿ˜Š

    oh wow a job trial that will be great ๐Ÿ˜Š I hope it all goes well... Iโ€™m sure it will help you get your mind off things ๐Ÿ˜Š

    keep pushing forward and never quit ๐Ÿ’ช you CAN do this

  11. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    15 September 2020 in reply to Petal22

    The thoughts do scare me sometimes, but I try not to panic. I know they are just made up in my head, otherwise I would have ended the relationship by now. I genuinely want a future with this person and I hope I make it to the other side.

    Yes a job trial will be so good, stage 4 is definitely getting to me now. I can't stay inside anymore !

  12. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    15 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Thatโ€™s ok just keep doing what you are doing.... it will get easier... the thoughts will fade away..

    Hopefully your lock down will be finished soon ๐Ÿ˜Š

    keep in touch

  13. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    16 September 2020 in reply to Petal22

    We have still maybe a month to go with the lockdown which is shit! The boredom is getting to everyone and testing everyone's relationships from what I've heard. It's so annoying when you know what you want and you know the answer but there are those ugly thoughts that keep popping up. Had a bit of a cry today, first time in maybe 2 weeks. I just broke down, in front of my boyfriend. I told him that I was so happy a few days ago and it lasted a few days but slowly got caught up with the thoughts once again.

    It just really hurts sometimes.

  14. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    16 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    I feel for you 20girl101 the lockdown would be hard... hang in there....

    I think being in lockdown would contribute to your thoughts.... I know itโ€™s hard but try to stay positive.... Use the time you can go out ..... for exercise ect.... even if itโ€™s a drive....๐Ÿ˜Š

    I can understand your crying itโ€™s ok.... it is a marathon and you will have days like that but just remember your strategies and keep practicing them..... your good days will out weigh your bad days ๐Ÿ˜Š things WILL get better......

    keep in touch

  15. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    18 September 2020 in reply to Petal22
    Being in lock down is so bad, because it's the same thing each and every day! Wake up, stay inside and go back to sleep and repeat. It really is taking a toll, but I'm determined to get out of this funk I'm in and get way better ! I hope so anyways.
  16. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    18 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    I understand it would be hard .... in lock down.... do you enjoy cooking? Making cakes and cookies? You could practice mindfulness while you do this? How do they smell? How does it feel in your hands?
    Is there anything else you enjoy? You could make cards for the elderly in nursing homes? I find doing nice things for others makes me feel good too ๐Ÿ˜Š

    You WILL get better and hopefully your lockdown will finish soon ๐Ÿ˜Š

    keep in touch

  17. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    21 September 2020 in reply to Petal22
    I am trying very hard to keep positive and to have a positive mindset but the overthinking and dwelling definitely does get to me. I often have thoughts that I've forgotten who I am and how I used to be.
  18. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    21 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Thatโ€™s great you are trying to stay positive ๐Ÿ˜Š I totally understand what you are saying with thoughts of how you use to be........

    I remember having those thoughts on my journey aswell but here I am I have come back a stronger version of my self ๐Ÿ˜Š you too will come back a stronger version of YOU..... you will have so much growth from what you are going through....

    if Iโ€™ve learned anything,

    itโ€™s the darkest times that can bring us to the brightest places...that our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth

    Iโ€™ve learned that how difficult things seem there is always โ€œ hopeโ€ ๐Ÿ˜Š

    keep pushing forward, practice your strategies when you feel like you are dwelling put your attention to something in the present moment... feel your heart beating that in its self is a miracle.... you are a miracle...tell yourself you WILL get better... day by day things will get better ๐Ÿ˜Š

    I hope your appointments are going well....

    stay in touch ๐Ÿ˜Š

  19. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    24 September 2020 in reply to Petal22

    I had a really good session today with the psychologist. She is almost certain that its all just fabricated in my mind and that everything has just blown out of proportion! Which I know 100% it has. Some of the thoughts make me laugh honestly! because this isn't who I am at all. I just know it will be a long journey but I love him and want to be with him forever. It's going to be a hard journey but I think my future with him is 100% worth it, thats the way I see it anyways. I'm trying to hold onto that.

  20. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    24 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Thatโ€™s great 20girl101, so glad to hear you had a great session today ๐Ÿ˜Š yes our journeys can be long and hard...... Iโ€™m sure you will get through it.... just keep persevering...

    im glad to hear your adamant positive thinking.... you know what you want... ๐Ÿ˜Š

    You can hold more than you think.

    And you can continue long after you think you canโ€™t .

    Itโ€™s hard out there but you are resilient .

    i mean

    You ve got to here through everything

    you come from climbing to the top of so many mountains now behind you

    donโ€™t forget that

    ๐Ÿ’ช

    keep in touch ๐Ÿ˜Š

  21. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    28 September 2020 in reply to Petal22
    My overthinking is a massive problem for my suffering. I get hooked on one idea and I seek out the worst possible scenarios and make myself depressed and upset. Ironically I have the power to make myself happy, but at the moment I'm finding it hard to.
    1 person found this helpful
  22. Imogen2
    Imogen2 avatar
    25 posts
    28 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Petal22

    Totally understand for 15 months I was in a relationship it ended March this year but from the moment we got together until now he was in my thoughts every waking moment and now since we broke up he still is in my head. I donโ€™t know if itโ€™s similar to yours but itโ€™s becoming a problem. I actually said aloud STOP when I realised I was off trance again. I donโ€™t know how I will go but I have started to try Guy Wrenchโ€™s advice to find something else to concentrate on for 2 minutes like a crossword or solitaire as it will train the mind to pause so to say. Find Guy Wrench on TED or YouTube, psychologist.

  23. Imogen2
    Imogen2 avatar
    25 posts
    28 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    20girl101

    Last week while searching โ€œbroken heartโ€ on YouTube I came across a psychologist named Guy Wrench, he talks about everything from loss, loneliness, rejection and rumination - which means we overburdened ourselves with worry and this psychologist is so pleasant to watch and listen as he is so straightforward and efficient. I highly recommend you and everyone to have a listen to his videos. Emotional First Aid is one of Guyโ€™s videos titled.

  24. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    28 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Ok, when you feel your self drifting in over thinking.... you need to break the cycle... so once you notice yourself doing this you need to take your attention out of your thoughts and place them on something in the present moment..... something like the wind blowing in the trees watch them and be mindful.....

    practice gratefulness...... think of things you are grateful for...... just being alive is one.....

    practice seeing things in a different way....... like instead of seeing things negativity flip it and try seeing things positivily..... try to re new your mind to positivity..... instead of looking for worse case deliberately look for best case.....

    it is possible....... practice you can do this ๐Ÿ˜Š let me know how you go

    even if you want to share something negative you think about I can help you see the positive ๐Ÿ˜Š

  25. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    29 September 2020 in reply to Imogen2
    The thoughts have just come in now and I don't understand, why they are here. I love this person and can't imagine leaving him. I know if I do I will regret it forever. If you don't mind me asking, why did you break up?
  26. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    29 September 2020 in reply to Petal22

    Okay well I start overthinking and think like "Will I be happy when he proposes to me?", "Do I love him enough to marry him?"

    "Can I be with him forever?"

    "Am I afraid of commitment or afraid of turning out like my parents relationship?" (because they have a real badย relationship, they barely talk)

    "he has these little habits, can i live with them?" (mind you, these habits were never an issue and they aren't a red flag)

    It's like I'm using everything now to back up this thought. It's honestly like I'm self sabotaging the relationship ! And like I'm almost scared of being around him for long periods of time just in case I relapse which makes me so upset because all I want is to just spend time with him and not have these thoughts !

    Like I figured if I wasn't happy and I didn't love him, I would have been gone by now! But something is holding me back, I think maybe because I genuinely want to be with him and I find comfort and a safe place with him.

    And as I said in previous posts, I don't say I love you a lot, due to my childhood and such, I never saw a loving relationship with my parents and I often use this as a trigger. Like for example "Omg I haven't said I love you in like an hour, do I not love him?"

    It's a lot of what if's and negative thinking.

  27. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    29 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    Ok, when I went through OCD one of the things I did was question a lot and Iโ€™d have a lot of what if s ........

    As I did my OCD therapy I learned this was part of my OCD cycle...... ( itโ€™s the thinking cycle my brain was in)..... I was taught how to break free of the cycle......

    when ever you realise you are in this thinking cycle.... questioning.... you need to bring yourself out of it and focus on something in the present moment......

    Maybe let your phycologist know the above so she can understand the cycle of your thinking.....

    Please donโ€™t allow your thoughts and anxiety stop you from spending time with your boyfriend.... anxiety can build up avoidances ... donโ€™t allow it to do that to you.... when I had sever anxiety if I had negative thoughts about a person Iโ€™d deliberately stay close to them...

    You know yourself..... you know you love your boy friend..... tell yourself how much you love him and with the thoughts that come back just allow them to be there and donโ€™t question them or react to them just keep going doing your daily activities....

    it takes practice to realise when you are in your cycle and to change your behaviour but you CAN do it.....

    has you psychologist recommend any meditation or mindfulness ?

    stay in touch ๐Ÿ˜Š and keep practicing

    1 person found this helpful
  28. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    29 September 2020 in reply to Petal22

    It's almost as if in my mind the thoughts have done permanent damage to my relationship. Like battling it and just having these thoughts has made me emotional distant from him, I still love spending time with him and love being with him it's as if I'm not emotionally there, if you understand what I mean.

    When I'm in the cycle I start to freak out inside and my thoughts run wild. The thoughts have honestly calmed down but now I'm just stuck with that feeling. The backlash of even having these thoughts. I'm really scared, I'm scared that my relationship won't be able to survive this. I'm afraid I won't be able to go back to my loving self. It's really scary.

  29. Petal22
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    232 posts
    29 September 2020 in reply to 20girl101

    I can see the overthinking I guess if you were to flip the thoughts you could say to yourself

    I love my boyfriend and I really hope he proposes to me one day...

    Im going to live my own life my way and I wonโ€™t be influenced by my parents relationship.... Iโ€™m in charge of how I react to things...

    his habits are kind of cute.... I know I can accept the habits .... because I love him

    You see you can retrain your brain and thought patterns by saying this to yourself..... it may take a bit of practice but you can do it ๐Ÿ˜Š

    you will feel your emotions change in a positive way by thinking this way x

    If we can learn to fix our brains the remainder of our body ( in an emotional sense) will follow ๐Ÿ˜Š

    when you wake up in the morning say to yourself today is going to be an amazing day...... believe it.... feel the sense of emotion you feel by saying this ๐Ÿ˜Š

    I hope this helps you ๐Ÿ˜Š

  30. 20girl101
    20girl101 avatar
    133 posts
    29 September 2020 in reply to Petal22
    and its so funny that you say that! because I would often have those loving thoughts when I was 'okay' I guess.ย 

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