many words can be used to describe intrusive thoughts. For me they can be abhorrent, random, scary, tiring, funny, but a lot of the time they are 'where did that come from, this isnt me'.
the intrusive thoughts come from OCD, which seem to drive the anxiety, which drives the depression.
With my psychologist we never really spoke about OCD in great detail and the horrible intrusive thoughts, only some of them that were immediately driving the Anx/Dep. it was probably in fear of what they psych would think.
i wish i could go back and discuss these things. So when you do talk with your mental health professional, dont hold back...thats my advice.
when it comes to the intrusive thoughts, what i learned, and i tell myself all of the time is “the thoughts are just thought, not reality” im not going to act on them, i acknowledge that they are there, but try hard not to dwell too much.
i hope you can find inner peace and comfort, answers, and skills with your Next steps.