I've lived with general and social anxiety for a looong time, and can normally manage it just fine myself. But lately, being stuck inside 24/7, mostly alone in my room, has resulted in my anxiety becoming a lot worse not only at home, but going out at all is enough to almost- or to give me a panic/anxiety attack.
Being in quarantine has made me realise how lonely I really am. Being in the midst of a confusing situation.. where I can't talk to the person I used to always speak to at all definitely isn't helping that.
People who I considered close friends haven't tried to contact me at all, and those who I do try to contact often don't respond. I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong? Or saying the wrong things? Maybe those people don't wish to speak with me at all? I don't want to annoy them, yet somehow I think I manage to do so anyway.
It's also made me realise how much I adore human interaction (with those close to me anyway). I hate not being able to spend time with people, not being able to hug my friends or act goofy with them at school or home. I miss hearing voices and stories. I know this all probably sounds really silly but... it's genuinely bothering me.
Plus the mere idea of having to do online schooling freaks me out. I cannot stay at home all day- on my computer- on a video call with my teachers and students. I'd much, much, much rather endure in-school time than go through it all at home. School gives me a break from my home and family, it gives me structure and routine to work around, not having any of that really throws me off sometimes.
Everything is just feeling a little overwhelming at the moment. And I need to sort this situation I'm going through out, but I can't due to quarantine/isolation :/
I'm sure some, if not most of you feel a similar way about isolation and this whole COVID business, but I need to get a little bit off my chest so... here I am. Not quite sure how to end this post... I hope whoever's reading this is feeling better than I am right now.