Bad thoughts are in my head & trying to get rid of them. Though have started the first of my anxiety pills & a referral to a counselor is in the cards.
Pills won't kick in until 2weeks.
I need to rant & get this out, I'm feeling like an idiot, I don't know anything & am trying to get better educated as I've still got heaps to learn & grow. At work, I always say stupid & always seem to panic even when I try not too.
I've been told to think kindly about myself, but I don't. It's in the back of my head, everyone at work thinks I'm a fool & I'm being self pitying & and I'm sorry! I should be happy, as I've got everything I need. I take things personally.
Am watching happy shows to get me back on track.
At work, I need to go outside for work, I usually check if it's raining & if it's overcast I take a jacket & make sure the books don't get wet, but lately I'm getting myself stressed if they end up saying why are you going outside, as if I'm an idiot or someone who can't tell the difference in the weather & I know it's silly to get stressed over something so small, but I do or I think & say something silly & people have that tone, or this could be in my head. It's hard to tell.
On Friday, I said I found it funny that someone took off their shoes (well what else can you do, be angry) I can't say things & accept what I say, someone may not like it.
Sometimes I need to get so upset & cry to exhaust myself & then the thoughts go, it's one way that works!
Thanks for letting me rant & I just want to be happy, but my cerebellum is not in balance.
Everyone keep going, you'll get there & be better & thanks beyond blue
Thank you. I hope I do get better, just want to be better