Hi there! Thanks for clicking on this thread.
So, this is my first thread on here. I figured I'd start with why I joined. I have anxiety, and have been diagnosed with that and ASD for yonks (literally when I was 6). With this whole COVID thing happening and Uni going online, I'm really struggling with how much there is to handle. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and (I think partly because of the ASD) recognising triggers and boundaries (that I need to set) within myself is hard. There's so much that I need to be doing, and it feels like there isn't enough time in the day to do it all, and I stress when I don't get at least 7hrs sleep and do all this other stuff and, yeah.
It's just so difficult relying on other people like my mum or psychologist, because I don't even trust myself to know what's best for me, so how in the world am I meant to let other people do it.
I feel like I just want everything to pause, so I can regain my footing and get myself back on track. I'm a high achiever, so accepting anything less than my best is so difficult. I don't know how hard to push myself each day vs what's going to burn me out.
Each day, it feels like there's no point doing any work, because there's still going to be more tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I also really struggle with a) making new friends and b) connecting with them online, cause I'm so awkward (the ASD). For about the last week, there's been a point on most days where I feel like breaking down and crying, which usually happens more like monthly to every few months. Most days this week, I'd rate my anxiety a 9/10 and its usually about a 5, on average.
I suppose I'm not really asking anyone to do anything, cause I don't know what you could do - heck, I don't even know if anyone's going to read this - but I'm maybe asking if anyone else's gone through this, how you coped? I just don't know what to do. Deferring doesn't feel like an option (I already took a whole year off last year) and I know I COULD push through this, I just really, really don't want to. It feels like I've been dealt a crappy hand and I'm so sick of it and life would be so much better if it was just a little bit easier.
Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks! Means a lot. And I hope you're going okay through the rollercoaster of a ride that so many of us are on right now.