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Topic: Did I overreact?

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. jaysee
    jaysee avatar
    11 posts
    4 July 2020

    Hi all,

    Curious to get some opinions on a decision I recently took, if you have time.

    4 years ago I moved into a boarding house, where I stayed for 2 years. I felt safe and had a sense of privacy. I got to know a few of the housemates very casually and become good friends with one. Everyone (including me) had jobs or was somehow occupied, and we all passed like ships in the night. I then left Australlia and was overseas for 2+ years.

    I recently returned to Australia, contacted the same agency, viewed one of the rooms in the same boarding house, and signed a 3-month lease, thinking it would all work out well. The agent mentioned that all the previous tenants had left due to losing jobs amid COVID, so it was a totally different set of people. I decided (perhaps foolishly) to go ahead anyway and sign the lease.

    Unfortunately over the following two weeks a string of incidents occurred...

    * Two housemates loudly talking outside my door about "the new guy" and "what's he up to" etc.
    * One of the housemates just talking and talking at me when I was trying to get back to my room and I ended up having to close the door on him because he wouldn't stop
    * The police visiting once, apparently "just to check up"
    * A stranger tampering with the mailbox at the front then running off
    * One of the housemates half-jokingly blocking my way when I was trying to walk out of the building
    * A stranger asking me about someone living in the house as I walked out of the building
    * One of the housemates two floors down shouting obscenities for about an hour so loud I could hear them from my room even with all doors and windows closed, and slaming doors so hard that I could practically feel the building shake

    After all this I just didn't feel safe there.

    When the shouting/door slamming occurred I panicked, phoned a family member and stayed overnight with them, and ended up spending the past two weeks with them. Just today I met with the agent, got my remaining belongings out, handed back the keys and quit the lease.

    I feel like this all happened rather suddenly and maybe I overreacted?
    Was I right to feel unsafe given the circumstances?

    It seems like over a 2 year period the boarding house had gone from safe to unsafe.

    Maybe the world is generally less safe due to economic disruptions, COVID, inequalities?

    Do I seem obsessed with safety? But don't you kinda have to be, if the world really is becoming less safe?

    Is it my anxiety or is this real?

    What do you think?

    1 person found this helpful
  2. blueraven
    blueraven avatar
    8 posts
    4 July 2020 in reply to jaysee
    I think you did the absolute right thing. I've had bad housemates. it only gets worse. I wish I had the options to leave the way you did. It took until some really bad stuff happening to finally leave. Unfortunately, bad places are all bad and good places are usually pretty good. It's because the unsafe people all flock together, just like all the safe people flock together.
  3. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    1405 posts
    5 July 2020 in reply to jaysee

    Hi jaysee

    Wondering if you're a pretty intuitive person, doesn't take much more than a handful of clues for you to get a good sense of a situation or person. In this case, perhaps your intuitive skills were at play. Did you find something was saying 'You need to get out of there'. Glad you trusted. Now you can only guess what might have happened if you'd stayed, you don't have to live there to find out.

    Living in an environment that messes with your nervous system (leading to stress and anxiety), brings a whole other set of challenges. I'm glad you don't have to experience this anymore.

    Personally, I'd say good call all 'round, leaving.

    Take care and all the best :)

  4. AYRC
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    AYRC avatar
    8 posts
    5 July 2020 in reply to jaysee

    Hey jaysee

    Thanks for posting on the forums for advice. I'm so glad you trusted your gut instincts and left. Personally, I don't think you were overreacting because, at the end of the day, it is best to live somewhere that is safe. A place that serves as your 'home' should be your safe haven and if you didn't feel that way there, it was a good decision to leave.

    I hope you're doing well now and feeling much better!

  5. jaysee
    jaysee avatar
    11 posts
    6 July 2020 in reply to jaysee

    blueraven, therising, AYRC,

    Many thanks for contributing your thoughts and encouraging me in my decision.

    Yep, it's a much better situation now. Much easier to sleep and get work done now that I'm in a safer spot.

    Like therising said, I don't necessarily have to live there to find out what might've happened, sometimes it's better to try and change the situation rather than try to adapt to a bad situation.

    Lucky I had family to take me in.

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