Thank you for your reply. It can be so very difficult to put your needs first. It seems much easier to help others than help ourselves.
In the back of my mind I know that I will be often more effective if I can help myself first. The best example I think I could give would be -
A car has broken down and it needs to go up hill, it looks straight forward enough. 1 person pushes while the other steers. It is very difficult for 1 person to push so the person steering decides to hop out and help.
For some reason even with 2 pushing the car up the hill now its even harder than before with 1 person.
They both evaluate the situation and find that the person steering kept leaving the handbrake up in fear it would roll back onto the person pushing it.
Sometimes people don't always see the extra efforts you put in and why we do them, at the same time it might end up making every day components people may think are more straight forward much more difficult.
We do things because they make us feel comfortable, and I think thats a very important thing. I think the overthinking component is because we want to avoid bad things to happen. That just means you put in 110% in everything you do.
As you say though there is nothing wrong with giving 90% for everyone else and 10% for yourself (or vice versa sometimes :) )