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Topic: Do I have some time of anxiety or am I just a shy introvert?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. QuietMostofthetime
    QuietMostofthetime avatar
    2 posts
    17 May 2021

    Recently I have been trying to come to some sort of answer as to why I feel the way I do in certain situations. If I could summarise the way that I feel it would be categorized as follows.

    Scenario 1:

    Job interviews for me, feel like when you undertake your driver's license test. I have a feeling like I am slowly stiffening up or only able to communicate and portray in a mostly "yep", "that's fine" type of responses depending on the type of person or whether they give off an authoritative demeanor. It's like it takes away my confidence or so I become unable to articulate and explain myself how I wish to. What am I like, well I would say that I am rather introverted, however, I can talk to someone with no issues when I get to know them better. I do feel pressure in a retail store environment and if I had to work that type of job and deal with new people every day like that I feel like I would just keep hiding in my shell. I would say this happens when I go to a new destination by myself also.

    The other area of my life that this can affect me in is the enrollment of further higher education.

    I have completed two qualifications at TAFE to challenge my doubts that I have always had about my academic abilities. However, I don't yet feel satisfied with myself. I deep down want to go to University, but I always get constant thoughts of "What if you fail a subject", "University is more expensive and your debt could add up if you fail something", "Your English level is below average, you couldn't write 3000 words. I know I have been to TAFE but I view university as 10x harder than TAFE. I suppose I don't like failing in an educational setting. I do think that If I chose to do a degree I would complete it online.

    So that basically how I feel.

  2. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    12416 posts
    17 May 2021 in reply to QuietMostofthetime

    Quiet mostlythetime

    welcome to the forum and thanks for writing your post.

    I think all the things you write about are what many feel

    as interviews are scary and deciding whether to go to uni is difficult.

  3. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
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    tranzcrybe avatar
    619 posts
    17 May 2021 in reply to QuietMostofthetime
    In unfamiliar environments, it makes perfect sense to be alert and highly tuned (it goes back to our ancestors fighting to stay alive - the successful ones passed these genes down the line, the unsuccessful, well...). So this sort of anxiety is a normal response to feeling exposed and vulnerable - namely, the job interview; but also anywhere you need to ad-lib to navigate the veritable jungle of predators (or so it would seem when in the thick of it).
    The issue for you then is how to self talk to put this feeling into perspective. While it may feel like you are about to be eaten alive, tell yourself this is all part of the charade to see if you've got what it takes (and keep reminding yourself that you certainly do and can stand up for what you believe). At all costs, avoid being a 'people pleaser' and you will shake of that insecure feeling of needing to say and do the 'right thing'.
    Surprisingly, much the same thing applies to undertaking tertiary studies. Believe in yourself and pursue what motivates you - not because you only want to pass, but because you feel compelled to acquire understanding for yourself and no one else. Have you asked yourself why you want to go to university? Is it for your own betterment or to satisfy the opinions/criticisms of others? Do you believe that a degree will necessarily define you or even change your own self perception? These are fairly confronting questions you could consider along the way and they may help quell any self doubt.

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