Recently I have been trying to come to some sort of answer as to why I feel the way I do in certain situations. If I could summarise the way that I feel it would be categorized as follows.
Job interviews for me, feel like when you undertake your driver's license test. I have a feeling like I am slowly stiffening up or only able to communicate and portray in a mostly "yep", "that's fine" type of responses depending on the type of person or whether they give off an authoritative demeanor. It's like it takes away my confidence or so I become unable to articulate and explain myself how I wish to. What am I like, well I would say that I am rather introverted, however, I can talk to someone with no issues when I get to know them better. I do feel pressure in a retail store environment and if I had to work that type of job and deal with new people every day like that I feel like I would just keep hiding in my shell. I would say this happens when I go to a new destination by myself also.
The other area of my life that this can affect me in is the enrollment of further higher education.
I have completed two qualifications at TAFE to challenge my doubts that I have always had about my academic abilities. However, I don't yet feel satisfied with myself. I deep down want to go to University, but I always get constant thoughts of "What if you fail a subject", "University is more expensive and your debt could add up if you fail something", "Your English level is below average, you couldn't write 3000 words. I know I have been to TAFE but I view university as 10x harder than TAFE. I suppose I don't like failing in an educational setting. I do think that If I chose to do a degree I would complete it online.
So that basically how I feel.