A warm welcome to the forums; I know that it must have been scary posting on here for the first time, so I hope that you can take some time to give yourself a pat on the back for taking this huge step.
I'm really sorry to hear that you have been going through all this and the way this anxiety has had such a huge negative impact on your life. It seems like that what happened that night has stayed with you in a really strong and emotional way, and I can only imagine how hurt and betrayed you must have felt to have had to go through this.
I think that being open to having a conversation about what is going on, and how to get help, is definitely an important step in trying to heal and recover from what happened, and please know that support is out there for you to figure out what the next step might be. In addition to the support that other people in our community might add to this post, you might also find it helpful to browse our subforum on anxiety
, where people post about having similar experiences and how they have managed to cope with in on their journey so far.
Lastly, I would also consider having a chat through our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website
. With the Support Service, you'll get the chance to speak to a mental health professional about what has been going on, and they should be able to provide you with more information and point you in the right direction about where to get more support, as well.
I know this must all feel really overwhelming and scary, FearlessLFC, but please know that you are not alone in having to go through all of this.