Definitely tough at times to work out who we naturally are. Until we rediscover our natural self, there can be an enormous amount of questions: Who am I? Why am I here? Why can't I be happy? The list can get pretty long. On top of it all, we can be dealing with some seriously challenging chemistry along the way. Not enough dopamine surging around in our brain to feel any significant 'pay off' or not enough serotonin to lead us to feel generally happy are 2 factors that can lead us to naturally question 'Why can't I feel life the way I really want to?'
If we were fortunate in having a good start in life, we began the experience in the first 4 years or so as our natural self. We were naturally excited about most things. We were naturally curious, often asking 'Why?' to just about every and we were naturally wonderful (full of wonder). So, where did the excitement go? What about all that natural curiosity and questioning? What about the wonder of it all, the wonder of life? What happened to our imagination?
Jim, you're obviously still wonderful because you're wondering about a lot of things at the moment. I imagine you're looking for the kind of excitement that'll get the wow factor going. A little hard to achieve with so many restrictions at the moment. I'm wondering if you're in some way bored with life and need a whole new stack of adventures to look forward to. Every time we add a venture to our repertoire of experiences, we're adventuring. You're also asking a lot of significant potentially life changing questions. Having experienced a period of my life in depression, I can look back and understand some of the factors that kept me there for all those years. One significant one was not knowing who I naturally was because no one showed me. It's something I've gradually and painstakingly discovered for myself over the years.
Imagine we had someone with us 24/7, raising us to ask all the right questions (in order to raise our consciousness to more questions and revelations). Imagine they picked all the right adventures for us to undertake, ones that frequently led us to happiness. Imagine wondering about how they could lead you to access your emotions in the most amazing of ways, ways that are astounding. If you can imagine this, you haven't lost your imagination either.
If you don't seem to have anyone with this level of enthusiasm around you, the challenge can be to find them and in the process you may also come to find this person in you.