I recently relocated towns due to being really unhappy in my previous work as well as being unable to make meaningful connections in my outside life. I have been in my new place for just over a month and I am really enjoying my new work however, I can't help but still feel empty inside.
My anxiety levels still seem to be really high and I feel like I cannot make proper relationships with other people (no motivation to go out on a date/lack of desire to try and meet someone). I know that relationships aren't everything, however as I get older I can't help but feel I am going to be left behind. For so long my anxiety has ruled my life. It tells me I am horrible and ugly, it tells me I am unworthy and that people will judge me. I don't feel beautiful or that anyone will want to get to know the real me once they find out that I deal with this on a daily basis.
I have friends that seem to care about me some of the time, but I frequently question how long they will be in my life. From previous experience people tend to leave me without warning or explanation so it's hard not to feel like I am the issue!
I have tried joining a sport to find people but this has been unsuccessful in the past. As for online dating, I have been on a few dates with people but this never leads anywhere and I am at the point of just not even caring to go on the apps anymore as it feels like it will never be worth it.
Have other people been able to shake this feeling? Or get past it? Or are some people just not destined to find their person?
I am in the process of changing my anxiety medication to see if it will help but with that also comes its own anxiety attached to it too.
Would like to hear people's thoughts and to know I am not crazy for thinking all of this?