Hi , thanks for sharing. Im sorry your experiencing these intrusive thoughts, it's really scarey and I remember when I first had mine.
They do eventually dampen and from experience they can completely go away but might pop up here and there. It's best to talk to a therapist. Anxiety and intrusive thoughts attack the things we care about the most.
You just have to know in your heart that you will never follow through and not get consumed by them. When mine come back I go oh there's that thought again and let it pass I do not become consumed by it if that helps. Don't feed it. If also been practicing mindfulness that really helps too.
Hope your doing better