Welcome to Beyond Blue and well done for reaching out.
I'd like to start by suggesting that you perhaps stop terrorizing yourself with "reading horror stories" of what has or has not happened for and/or to others. We are all different, and we can all respond to the same medications in different ways. It takes time for your mind and body to adjust to any kind of change.
Secondly, I'd like to suggest that perhaps you could talk to more that one doctor or health about it? Sometimes it pays to get second and third opinions. And keeping in mind too, some doctors are better at giving out all the information, as well as the medication.
And thirdly, recovery of any kind, from any condition is not an overnight matter. But there are things you may be able to do to help the process a little, such as learning some relaxation and meditation techniques. Do you think that is something you might like to try? After all, every little bit helps, yeah?
And of course, in the meantime, you can come back here to BB as often as you like. After all, that's what we're here for.
Anyway, I don't know if that helps or not. Hope it does help a little?
Take care, I'll be thinking of you. xo