Congratulations on making your first "offical" post in the BB Forums, your presence and wealth of knowledge and is welcomed with open arms! I see you saying that smoking has been something you have been battling back and forth with mentally, that you need and want to give it up for your health but something keeps getting in the way of that. I wonder if instead of thinking about why you should quit, think about why you shouldn't, or why you aren't? Probably sounds weird but I remember being told that in order to quite something that has benefits, its easier to acknowledge the pros and try and replace them, instead of feeling like we just give something up... hope this makes some sense?
You said that you have days when you just feel like being alone and sometimes this can make you feel misunderstood, for being distant when really you just need some time alone to recharge.
I also love podcasts, please share with us anything good you come across! Driving and listening to podcast sounds like a nice opportunity to get that solo downtime you enjoy. I've recently listened to the "smiling minds" podcast which was thought-provoking, but always on the look out for more.
thanks again for choosing to post greeny089, who knows maybe someone will read your posts and feel the courage to post themselves, all because of you <3