This is my first time posting. I’ve suffered from OCD since I was about 12 and have had every obsession you could think of (religious, sexual, harm, existential, etc.).
Recently, I was on a pain medication (taking the highest legal dose) and I decided one day that I would stay home and study (exam period) instead of refill my prescription and that I could deal with the pain for a few days. I experienced severe withdrawal symptoms (felt like a severe depression or anxiety), but I didn’t know what was happening I thought I was going insane. I tried to do anything to keep my mind occupied off the symptoms (working, cleaning, video games, tv) but nothing worked and I ended up staring at the clock for hours just waiting for it to be over, it moved so slowly. Once I got the medication back, the physical symptoms faded within an hour but the mental stuff stayed with me.
Now I have a lot of fears pertaining to physical anxiety symptoms and perception of time.
I’m afraid of thinking about or experiencing time moving slowly. I don’t know exactly why that is or what I think will happen, but I feel as if it would be a never ending torture if I did. I’m afraid that I won’t be able stop thinking these thoughts about time, that they’ll always distract me.
I’m also afraid that the physical symptoms of anxiety (I developed later on) will dominate my attention, that I won’t be able to stop thinking about them and not be able to focus on other things (fun, work, partner). That I won’t be able to function and they will get worse/unbearable.
I had some bad experiences with panic (I started on SSRI) because I thought the same psychological consequences (focusing on slow time/not being able to disconnect from physical sensations and focus on other things) would happen again.
I don’t know whether it’s PTSD, OCD, panic, etc. but these are the fears that are bothering me and it’s been hard trying to find someone with my experiences.
Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you.