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Topic: Keep feeling like I'm not good enough

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. gloria10
    gloria10 avatar
    116 posts
    20 June 2020

    Hi. It has been a while since my last post, a bit has been going on. My issue is, however, that lately, I've been noticing some more anxiety and that I've been feeling like I'm not good enough.

    I think some of it stems from work as I am on contract in a call centre and there are so many KPI's that I need to make and if I do make them I still get told I'm doing something else wrong. I am in the process of job hunting as I know I'm not there much longer, but I have noticed it has affected my anxiety a lot.

    I also think it has to do with an interest in a friend that I have known for some time. I've been out of the dating game a while and I've always found him attractive, but at the back of my head I keep getting 'not good enough'. It has also been adding to my anxiety. I have been considering dating again so I'm not sure if my anxiety could have been triggered as a result.

    I guess I'd like to know how you boost your self-confidence when you're feeling low?

    Thanks

    1 person found this helpful
  2. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    2202 posts
    20 June 2020 in reply to gloria10

    Hi gloria10

    I'm glad to hear you're looking at other work - maybe the place you're at doesn't seem to fit you. No way would it fit me either!

    You don't have to listen to words like not good enough - even from yourself lol.
    It's simply not true.

    Square peg in a round hole maybe?

    Some ideas to make me feel better:
    * Journalling. When I've had enough of my own words I seek words of others and write them in my journal. Oprah is one of my favourites. I have lots of books like this.
    * Doing things that suit ME. I like gardening but do what you LOVE.
    * Recently I've listened to Kristen Neff and her talks on YouTube are AMAZING. A must.
    * If you Google Amanda Frances - wow GIRL power there lol! She has a great podcast series.
    * Always hanging out with people I love and who love me works too.

    Can we aim for self assuredness vs self confidence?
    It's deeper and far more long lasting. A bit like contentment vs happiness. But we can always aim for ALL!

    Why not.

    EM

  3. gloria10
    gloria10 avatar
    116 posts
    20 June 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Thanks for your response ecomama :)

    To be honest, I used to journal all the time and I haven't done that for ages, I might need to start that again. I like the idea of seeking words of others :)

    I have been thinking that my job isn't suitable. I mean I enjoy customer service, but not the KPI's so much.

    With what I enjoy, I guess I haven't been doing much of that. I am making a point to go to the shops tomorrow because I have missed that and I want to do some artwork again too, just need the inspiration.

    Thank you

    1 person found this helpful
  4. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    2202 posts
    20 June 2020 in reply to gloria10

    Hi gloria

    Isn't it funny that we let go of the things that made us FEEL GOOD then after a while ask ourselves "why aren't I feeling good?"

    If you like Customer service then that's great. KPIs sound awful lol. RUN FORREST RUN lol!

    When I worked in a supermarket for 8y I was badgered ALL the time by my bosses about my work not being good enough - but they called me in all the time so what the..? There was a mismatch with their words and their actions.
    Then I finished a few degrees, got promoted to State then Federal Govt positions and NO ONE has been destructively critical of my work, I was headhunted a number of times... gotta make you think hey?

    I love constructive feedback though. ALL UP for that.

    Sometimes when a person is highly critical of us it says more about them than us. ;-)

    Anyway regarding love..... BE WHO YOU BEAUTIFULLY ARE.... when you are so true to yourself, magic happens.

    I just bought my own copy of 'The Road Less Traveled' by M.Scott Peck. BRILLIANT book on all types of love and so much more. I think you'd love that. Maybe the Library has it.

    EM

  5. gloria10
    gloria10 avatar
    116 posts
    21 June 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Lol, I think it might be time to run :) I had a look at 'signs to quit your job' on Google and it looks like I'm at that stage.

    So I will start small but updating my resume first, keep at my job so that I can get a good reference and at least finish on good terms. Once I worked out that it isn't a suitable role I did start to feel better again.

    Btw thanks for the suggestion with the book, it sounds quite suitable for me :)

    2 people found this helpful
  6. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    2202 posts
    21 June 2020 in reply to gloria10

    Wow gloria.... well done you!

    Do you know the Serenity Prayer?
    It's fitting.

    Seriously a job is not worth the stress and I felt pretty crap about myself with the feedback from the Supermarket mob. I stayed and stayed until.. I flew the coop..... then I never looked back lol.

    Smart thinking about a reference, well done again! You're getting your ducks in a row VERY sensibly.

    Have you thought about further study? Any fields your interested in?

    EM

  7. Gambit87
    Gambit87 avatar
    519 posts
    22 June 2020

    I guess I'd like to know how you boost your self-confidence when you're feeling low?


    I used to think I wasn't good enough for anything or anyone - my partner/family, wasn't good enough to move up in the world, to be friends with people and always comparing myself to people etc. I'm slowly getting out of that mindset!

    I like to get out and about, bike rides, martial arts, talking to my partner,friends and family and photography! they all help me boost confidence.

    Good on you for recognising your job isn't suitable! I've been in my job for 10 years now and the negative thinking kind of prevented me from moving on but Ive recognised that I'm caring about a job that doesnt care about me! so like you, im redoing my resume and looking to move on!

  8. Emmen
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Emmen avatar
    265 posts
    22 June 2020 in reply to gloria10
    Hello gloria10,

    It's funny how our jobs can have that kind of an effect on us, right? I was a mess before when I was in an abusive work situation, constantly being told I wasn't doing things right and that I wasn't good enough. Eventually I left that job and that helped me so much.

    I've come to realise that my confidence goes up when I don't care what people think about me. Especially with dating, the more conscious I was of my worth, the less confident I became. When I am just being myself without fearing people's opinions, I am sure of who I am and that makes me confident. So I guess the secret to confidence, for me, is to simply remind myself that I am happy with being who I am and that as long as I am good enough for me, that's really the best I can be. I know I sound a little convoluted here, but I hope you get what I mean.

    Cheers,
    M

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