Thanks PF! I did have a great nap, I was really zonked.
Yes I think I'm well lol. Need to see a GP soon for some test results but I'm sure it'll all be fine.
I read your whole thread before I posted, but I hadn't read your other threads so not sure of other things that were / are happening or happened in your life.
So please forgive me if I repeat things - which can happen to all of us!
Sorry if this happens.
It sounds like you're a very sweet and sensitive person.
Being your first "real" relationship, this holds a huge impact in one's life IME.
(Tbh ANY relationship involving commitment from us can hold a huge impact in our lives!).
If you could answer these questions it would help me pitch my responses better..
Are you a very young person?
Had you moved in with ex BF?
Regardless of those points, I think it's unrealistic to think you'll ever forget about exBF.
In fact it's probably good for you if you DON'T forget in some ways.
The lessons you have the potential to learn from this r/ship can stand you in good stead when embarking on any friendships in the future.
Our feelings can fade over time.
Certainly if we work on it, our emotional reactions when thinking about the person can diminish significantly to just a faint memory over time too.
School's out on whether we can completely recover from a broken heart. IDK it takes time... and alot of self-care!
And some really fun times, ongoing, with other people and nice times working on our own lives.
I can see you've continued studying and this will help ALOT if you can maintain this.
This relationship becomes "part of your story".
I wanted to point out something pretty significant I noted from this thread and some other things I saw you post.
I'm SO GLAD for you that you got out so quickly!!!
You've lessened the damage and I'm grateful for that for you. To me this shows you HAD done 'enough' work before you met BF to know the difference between healthy and toxic relationships.
I think sometimes whether we stay or leave is a bit like the "how to boil a frog" theory...apparently the ONLY way to boil a frog is to put it in cold water & slowly turn up the heat.
THIS is how manipulative abusers can trap their victims.
They "love bomb" and be all sweety pie to us and we think "OH aren't they sweet!" then over time they turn up the heat.
You can't boil a frog with the pot already boiling. They just JUMP OUT.
Time for your healing.