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Topic: Loneliness in year 12

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Gigi1234
    Gigi1234 avatar
    0 posts
    9 January 2020
    It has come to a point that it’s critical I need to focus on myself. Recently, I have been so emotional and feeling so lonely. It feels like the only way for me to be able to improve my mental health is to be single until I am strong enough to handle my emotions, because if something bad were to happen I know it would take a long time to lift myself up again (which would be a problem since I’m in year 12 this year). But I feel so lonely. And my loneliness is why I feel so sad. I have so many great friends, but they are always talking about their boyfriends or what boys they are interested in. Which makes me feel even more lonely, despite the fact that I’m the one who has chosen to remain single. I’m unsure on how to make myself feel better about myself by myself. My therapist hasn’t been able to make me feel better. Meditation and talking to family doesn’t make me feel less lonely either. What do I do? I’m so stuck
  2. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    118 posts
    9 January 2020 in reply to Gigi1234

    Hi Gigi1234

    Welcome to the BB forums and it is so wonderful that you have found the courage and strength to post and to share how you are feeling, we are here for you and care for you so hopefully we can bring some comfort to you in this time.

    Being a young adult is so hard these days, I am 44 so things seem so much harder to manage than when I was in year 12, or was is that I didn't realize that so many other people my age where also suffering but we just didn't talk??? There is so much pressure on "what are you going to do with your life?". "what job am I going to have?", "what if I fail?"....can I say to you that you don't need to figure all this out today, not do you have to figure it out tomorrow. While school is important it is not the definition of who you are and what the future holds for you. I am still thinking about what I will do when I am older!

    Friends are so important as well as feeling accepted and wanted. That we do compare what other people are doing and how "happy" they are and use this as a benchmark to assess our own happiness. That we do want to feel attractive and loved and want people to think we are someone who is worth having a relationship with.

    I hear that you want to take some time to be single, while that is never a bad thing at all, I am just wondering if you are taking this status as a protective mode? You say that the only way to improve your mental health is to be single until you are strong...that could be true, but what is your definition of strong? I hear from what you have posted here in the small amount you have shared that you have reached out to doctors, albeit not feeling the connection you need, have reached out to a therapist, and are in tune with what your body needs to stay healthy, meditation and that you are talking to your family. These are the actions of a strong person who is seeking a journey to wellness and that takes so much strength.

    Can I also mention that doctors and therapists are human too and sometimes just as we don't get along with everyone in life nor do we make the connections with our mental health team the first time, that sometimes it takes many different therapists until you find the one you connect with and can therefore benefit you.

    I am no professional Gigi1234, just a person who cares and I am not sure if I have been helpful but you can chat here about as much as you want or as little, we are here for you.

    Hugs

    AS

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