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Topic: Loss of love for girlfriend over a week

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. James54
    James54 avatar
    12 posts
    10 June 2020
    Hi guys, I’ve just recently started a relationship with a girl i have been into and really cared about for a long time. We are both 18 and we have been only dating for a month now but i have been diagonased with mild ocd since i was around 16 and at the start of the relationship, i suddenly one day had no feelings for her felt like dead around her even though i knew i loved her. This lasted for a week and then slowly went away as i realised it was something with my anxiety. I had a couple good weeks feeling normal after that but now over this week i feel like i literally have no feelings for her, i don’t get the same feeling when i see her or with her, i almost feel depressed and guilty when around and thinking about her because i’m scared i don’t have feelings for her anymore even though i don’t want to lose her. I keep noticing other girls now when i didn’t before and it’s really scaring me, is this something to do with OCD, is it some sort of depression, will these feelings for her return because all i want to do is love her like i used too. Hope this made sense
  2. Gambit87
    Gambit87 avatar
    519 posts
    11 June 2020 in reply to James54

    Hi James,

    Welcome to the forums, thank you for reaching out! the forums are a safe and non-judgemental place!

    is this something to do with OCD, is it some sort of depression, will these feelings for her return because all i want to do is love her like i used too. Hope this made sense
    - Based on my experience, I believe you are spot on, more than likely something to do with your OCD. What kind of OCD if you don't mind me asking?

    I have harm OCD - basically i obsess over the fear of hurting myself and others - including my partner. These images/feelings are so disturbing and distressing to me, I obsess over them even though I know i would never hurt myself, my partner or other people in a million years. What i've been learning (with the help of a psychologist) is that obsessing over the thoughts (no matter how distressing they are) just feeds the OCD. The OCD gets stronger.

    The trick? Dont feed it! acknowledge the thought/feeling and let go of it! Its very hard work but I'm just starting to get the hang of letting go and my OCD thoughts are weakening.

    I encourage you to open up to your girlfriend - as hard as it is. I encourage you to see a psychologist to help you manage the OCD.

    As I said, its hard work but if you keep doing the work I believe it becomes very manageable.

    All the best! please let us know how you go if you feel comfortable.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. James54
    James54 avatar
    12 posts
    20 June 2020 in reply to Gambit87
    Hi thanks for your reply, these feelings have subsided now over the past few weeks and now i have started to gain feelings for my girlfriends best friend and i’m scared now i don’t know what’s happening because every time i think about my girlfriend i think about her friend and all i want is too be with my girlfriend without any anxiety or issues and i don’t know what’s going on with me are these real feelings my body is telling me i am in love with her friend but i don’t trust anything i feel now
  4. Gambit87
    Gambit87 avatar
    519 posts
    22 June 2020 in reply to James54

    These are just intrusive thoughts. These thoughts/feelings are not you. I encourage you not to feed these thoughts/feelings, they're fake news.

    You're so worried over these thoughts/feelings that your reaction is causing your mind to throw more and more at you. It happens to me every day.

    You are not your thoughts.

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