I can definitely relate to that, and I was in your position without friends, but living with my parents and having extreme anxiety. I had to go home from work once because it was all too much. I felt like a weird person, I felt lonely and like I would always be strange. The anxiety is so strong it feels like it can never change...but it can.
I recommend seeing a GP and perhaps being referred to a psychologist to help you with your anxiety. I'm not sure whether you have general anxiety, social anxiety or both. Either way a psychologist can give you strategies and tasks so that you can get stronger and start doing the things you want to do. Sometimes you need to change psychologists at the start to get one that you connect with. Just know that is a normal process, you have to find the type of help that works for you. You can also google different authors, ted talks and books on anxiety as well. It's so common that there are a lot of resources and help so that's a good thing too.
It can be a bit of a long road, but its one that once you are on it and stay committed, it tends to only get better. That is what happened with me and with many others. The first step is just to reach out like you are doing now.
I can see that despite your anxiety you have some hope and commitment. These are the most important things. That and appreciating your family, as you already do! and knowing that there is nothing 'wrong' or 'defective' about you. You are just struggling with something and are going to get the help you need. Its all good.
I'm here to chat when you need.