It can be so hard to listen to the voice of reason when you're in 2 minds. One mind can be saying 'You're so stupid, why did you do that?!', whereas the other (the one of reason) can say 'Don't sweat the small stuff, simply learn from it, let go and move on'. I've just this second had a revelation and I wish to thank you, truly thank you. Without you bringing this topic to mind, it may have taken me forever to make sense of the following...
You can grow up spending a significant amount of your life justifying yourself to others. From when you're little, you're conditioned to answer questions such as
- Why did you do that, why did you behave so stupidly?!
- Why did you behave so thoughtlessly, why did you not think first?!
- Why are you so selfish?!
- Why did you not do better?!
They're all questions and accusations (hence the exclamation marks). So, you could say we're conditioned into this type of internal dialogue that may not ever leave us, unless we wake up to it. I suppose it's kind of like a form of 'brainwashing'. Here, we're born with this incredible amazing brain that gives us the opportunity to wonder and question our self constructively but then all those abilities we have (to wonder and question constructively) are washed out, replaced by a destructive and harsh chastising kind of wondering and questioning. The challenge becomes about regaining those constructive abilities.
By the way, with certain internal dialogue occasionally feeling like hell on earth, when it gets seriously deeply depressing, I suppose a constructive mantra in this case would be 'Shut the hell up' or should that be 'Shut the hellish dialogue down, straight away'.
There can be a lot of reasons for why we 'miss the mark' (face a mistake). Exhaustion, rushing something when we're under pressure, we may be new to learning something, have a million things going on in our mind at once and so on. I suppose the question is 'Why did I miss it on the first take and how can I hit my mark on the next take (take 2)?' Some things in life, depending on what they are, involve multiple takes until we reach evidence of 'practice makes perfect'.
Definitely can't hurt to wonder why that manager manages the way she does. You can be guaranteed there's a reason for it. Maybe she could be self entitled, feeling entitled to say whatever she wants or she may not have the ability to sense and relate to how others feel.
Thanks again for opening my mind :)