I'm new to this, but I thought I'd come on this platform to see if anyone has felt like this or if anyone has tips to share with me.
Recently, a family friend from overseas came to stay with us before she could get a plane back to her country. We always have dinner as a family at the table, and I have always enjoyed this time of day where we can chat together. Two weeks ago, I wanted to read out a post from the internet on my phone regarding the coronvirus, at the dinner table, so I read it out to my family and ofcourse to the guest we had. I felt perfectly fine reading the paragraph out loud and wanted them to hear what I was reading. However, just as I finished reading the post, they all began to say that a red rash had appeared on my chest as I was reading. I went to check in the mirror and saw the rash clearly, but it started to fade away soon after I had read the paragraph. Everyone was confused, including me, about how this rash came about, as I wasn't nervous or anything - It was my family for godsake, why would I be nervous??
A week or so later, I found myself in a similar situation where I had to read out an email from my work to my family at the dinner table. And the rash appeared yet again! They pointed it out halfway through me reading, and this made my heart start racing, and I could feel my skin getting hotter.
Ever since then, it's like I've developed an anxiety every night at the dinner table, and I don't want to speak for too long as I will start to get hot and feel 'nervous' with everyone's eyes on me. Every time I get asked a question about myself or if one of my family members directs the conversation to me, my heart starts racing and I almost cut them off to avoid speaking, or if I do have to respond, this horrible feeling overcomes me again, and it's like I can feel their eyes watching me get nervous.
It was never like this, and I've always felt comfortable around my family and I consider myself a confident person, so this feeling is terrible and it feels like it's taking over my life! It's not just at the dinner table at this point - it's almost any time they confront me and I have to speak in depth about myself. I don't know if it's because this girl we had staying over made me nervous, but to me that's such a stupid thing, as she's a nice girl and I don't have a problem with her.
Has anyone felt this? I desperately need some tips!
Thank you :)