Welcome to the Healthy Families forums!

This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own!

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community and have a read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

  • share on Facebook
  • share on Twitter
  • Print page

Topic: Posting for the first time

30 posts, 0 answered
  1. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    19 January 2021

    Hi,

    this is the first time I’ve ever posted on anything, to be honest I’m a little bit nervous. I found myself exploring beyond blue and it’s forums due to experiencing a lot of anxiety recently, I’ve had anxiety in the past but have been fine for a long time. Things that never used to bother me make me really nervous and upset now and it takes me a really long time to let go of them. Even if everything is fine I’ll find myself thinking about the event for hours afterwards, agonising over every little detail.

    at the end of the day it’s been really difficult to “turn off” so I can go to bed and get some sleep.

    right now I’m just looking for someone to talk to

  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15314 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hello Rynn, and welcome to the site.

    If you try to go to bed early when your brain’s not ready to sleep, it will focus on other things, such as for example, what's happened over the past year and still lingering on, this, unfortunately, has changed everybody's lives, their work/study or social life, keeping us in lockdown, especially if you live in Vic.

    Environmental factors like a job or personal relationship or a past experience may suddenly reignite which is able to unsettle you.

    Someone is here for you to talk to or the BB line 1300 22 4636 you can ring, but like to hear back from you.

    Geoff.

  3. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff,

    thank you for for your warm welcome.
    I’ve used the web chat a couple times now and and gotten some really useful information and strategies to try to help manage my day to day anxiety and it’s helping me feel more confident in myself.

    the things that seem to cause me the most anxiety are things that I used to be okay with, one example is spiders. before if I saw a spider I’d just sort it out and move on, but now it’ll cause me a lot of stress, (there was one night i tried but I didn’t manage to squash it the first time and it dropped on the floor, my partner finally found it and got rid of it. But the experience left me hyperventilating) I’ll also keep thinking about it for hours after it’s been dealt with and I know the spiders gone and there’s no problem anymore.

    when it’s time to wind down at the end of the day I find my mind going over every detail of the day, in particular the things that triggered me. I tell myself that everything is good and I’m okay, but then the what if questions pop into my mind. This makes me hyper aware and unable to relax, then while the what if questions are going around I start thinking of things around the house that I need to do or clean.
    I end up watching tv till late in the evening to distract myself until I’m really tired.

  4. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    20 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hey Rynn, welcome to the forums.

    We're here for you, as am I if you need anyone to talk to.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9087 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hello Rynn..

    Welcome to our forums..

    I used to think about my day and the things that caused me anxiety when I went to bed for the night..it’s so hard to turn the thoughts off...

    I discovered sleep stories...which are gently spoken stories that can take our mind into beautiful places of adventure and peace...I listen to Dan Jones sleep stories on you tube..maybe you could give this a try for a while..My mind still does wonder away from the story..but I gently bring my concentration back to his words...Maybe the stories might help you to take your mind away from your anxiety thoughts and help you to fall asleep with a calm and peaceful mind..

    My kindest and most caring thoughts dear Rynn..

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  6. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Thank you Grandy,

    I’ll have to find my headphones and give that a try. I think a good nights sleep is a very powerful and helpful thing to make the next day run smoother and that much better. And I know I function a whole lot better after a good nights sleep.

    2 people found this helpful
  7. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to Missing user

    Thank you for your reply.
    I tend to really overthink things, and the more I think about it the worse it seems to get till eventually it’s like the end of the world.

    finding a way to break the cycle can be really difficult, then I’m just stuck in this ongoing loop.


    2 people found this helpful
  8. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    20 January 2021 in reply to Rynn
    Hey Rynn, I'm sorry to hear that. I understand and know how you feel though, I'm the same.
  9. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9087 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hello Dear Rynn..

    I really hope that it works for you..

    Yes a good night sleep is so very important and it really helps us more then we realise with our mental health...as well as physical health...

    I really do hope Dear Rynn, that you manage a restful sleep..

    Kind thoughts..

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  10. What’s it all about?
    What’s it all about? avatar
    3 posts
    21 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hi I just found this site tonight and read your post. I can’t offer much advice but just thought I’d let you know that Im struggling with exactly the same problem. I can’t sleep till really late because of everything whirring around on my mind. 4am is a normal bedtime for me at the moment. Last year I started to tackle the problem by going walking - 2- 3 hours everyday while listening to podcasts (something positive like David Goggins) It did help with the sleeping but I haven’t been able to keep up with it this year and so the sleeping problem is back. I hope you can find something that works for you. There’s nothing worse than not having decent sleep especially when it becomes and ongoing problem. Take care and good luck

  11. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15314 posts
    21 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hello Rynn, ' at the end of the day I find my mind going over every detail of the day', can be referred to 'as chewing the cud', when you just can’t stop thinking about something that really got under your skin, maybe today, yesterday or a couple of years ago, such as no one wants to be your friend, or perhaps why you’re not in a meaningful relationship and the list goes on.

    I just wonder whether you have been diagnosed by your doctor, which I'm not, but anxiety can create many types of disorders, but if you can yourself firmly in the present and be realistic about what you do and do not have control over, and ask yourself 'can I do anything about this now', the answer would most likely be no.

    That's exactly what I ask myself if for any reason this happens to me, then my mind is put to rest because why worry if you can't do anything about it now.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

  12. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    22 January 2021 in reply to What’s it all about?

    Hi What's it all about? , welcome to the forums. Hi to Rynn and others here too.

    I go to sleep at about 2am or something because of insomnia. It sucks. Then I wake up feeling so tired.

  13. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    23 January 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff,

    I haven’t been to see my doctor yet, but I plan to. The last couple days though I have been trying to really question those “what if” questions, so far it feels like it’s helping. I guess it’s about finding things that help and starting and committing to new habits.

  14. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    23 January 2021

    Hi everyone,

    it’s been a really busy couple of days. lots on the to-do list.
    just wondering if anyone had tried changes to their diet to help decrease anxiety? I recently read that including more whole grains, fatty fish, and whole foods (veggies) helps not just with physical health but also with mental health.

    what’s it all about?, you suggested walking. I’m not much for walking but I do enjoy swimming and I usually feel much more relaxed on days that I’ve been to the pool.

    I know that tired feeling all to well mb20lover, so much coffee needed the next morning

    2 people found this helpful
  15. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15314 posts
    24 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hello Rynn, in regard to food, it will help you better if you decide yourself but a little guidance from someone else can help you, but not if it's been pressured on to you, dictatorial behaviour goes against everything you've wanted.

    Any 'what if' questions may have to be achievable because as soon as they become an underlying doubt in your own ability and control and impossible at that precise moment to accomplish, it then can make us doubt any other 'what if'.

    Swimming is a remarkable way to help yourself and so pleased to hear back from you.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

    2 people found this helpful
  16. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    25 January 2021
    Hey Rynn, just wanted to see how you're going?
    1 person found this helpful
  17. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    25 January 2021 in reply to Missing user
    Thank you so much for checking in, that means so much to me.
    I had a couple of okay days, just super hot where I am. Then tonight I found myself questioning everything again. Now I’m just trying to relax and ground myself. A lot of the time the questions in my mind are things I couldn’t change even if I wanted to; for example what if I was too loud in the library today and someone found it annoying and will be upset at me next time I go. Logically I'm sure if I was too loud someone would have told me at the time, but now that the day has slowed down this seems to be the place my mind wonders.
    Thank you again for checking in, it really does mean a lot.
    How have you been?
    1 person found this helpful
  18. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    25 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hey Rynn, you're more than welcome. I'm glad it means a lot to you.

    I'm sorry to hear that, I have the same thoughts and anxiety. I'm sure you were fine at the library.

    I'm struggling myself, thanks for checking in also.

  19. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9087 posts
    25 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Dear Rynn...

    Our thoughts seem to constantly re live our day at night..

    I start listening to music and light my candles turn my lights of and watch the little flames flickering while I’m listening to the music or sleep story....It really helps me to distract my critical mind from today’s events...

    Maybe when your mind starts wandering..can you find something that you enjoy doing that takes your full concentration...Our minds can only think one thought at a time..therefore if you manage to distract it onto something pleasing....it will give your mind a short break and rest..

    Hope you sleep well tonight dear Rynn...

    My kindest and most caring thoughts..

    Grandy..

  20. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    28 January 2021 in reply to Missing user

    Hi mb20lover,

    I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling. I’m here if you want someone to talk to.

    it’s been an interesting few days for me this week.
    there’s been lots to do out of the house, so I’ve kept up going out and doing things. It feels like a good day while I’m out but then when I get home I’m thinking over every little detail again, feeling like everyone was judging me.
    I’ve started swimming most days and then I crochet in the evenings, but I still can’t fall asleep till after 2am. So tired the next day.

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    28 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Thanks Rynn, I'm here for you too.

    Good on you for doing those things. I feel the same about people judging me, it's hard to deal with and ignore. I sleep at about 2am or so also.

  22. Amanda2000
    Amanda2000 avatar
    135 posts
    28 January 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hi Rynn,

    I experience the same thing. And I sleep at 2am too!

    The stop-technique has helped me from going round-and-round in circles. I literally say out loud "stop" and "these feelings will soon go away". Then I refocus on something else by practising mindfulness where I try to really observe 3 things right in front of me. For example, I might go make myself a cup of tea and focus on 3 things: colour of the mug, the sound as I tear the tea-bag wrapper, the steam from the hot water as I pour into the mug.

    I've tried adjusting my diet to more healthy eating but these so-called super foods have given me food-intolerance, which added to my misery. Luckily chocolate doesn't give me any problems haha.

    I can definitely relate to your library scenario.

    I think we all get good days and bad days. I try to celebrate the little-wins as much as I can.

  23. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    29 January 2021

    Hi everyone,

    I guess this is more of a rant today, also me trying to let go of an event that triggered my anxiety.

    today was a good day out (a nice short one, back home in time for lunch!). For the first time in a long time I wasn’t worried about judgments or doubting myself. Everything was great till I got inside and while taking off shoes I saw a small spider run out from under a shoe, so I grabbed a shoe and squashed it but as I was putting the shoe down I saw another spider, I squashed that one too.
    lately spiders have been a big trigger for my anxiety, which I don’t fully understand because I never used to be afraid of them nor did they bother me.
    whenever something like that happens I am left feeling very sensitive for a long time afterwards, that’s after I’ve managed to calm down. I feel like spiders and other things are hiding in every corner of our home, even though I know logically that’s not the case.
    I was going to de clutter, deep clean and reorganise a room this afternoon to make it more functional, but I’ve been procrastinating for fear of another spider. I think I’ll leave it for today and just try to let go of today’s event.

  24. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    29 January 2021 in reply to Amanda2000

    Hi Amanda2000

    i definitely agree that we all get good and bad days.
    Chocolate is pretty awesome, sorry to hear that superfoods didn’t agree with you
    for now I’ve just been trying to add more fresh foods every day, like picking an apple instead of crackers for a snack and adding more veggies and less rice/pasta for dinner. I was sort of going with the idea that a better balance of vitamins and minerals would help my overall health and help me feel less tired. When I’m tired my anxiety is worse and it’s harder to calm myself.

  25. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    1 February 2021

    Having a really bad day today,

    thought I was just going through a bit of anxiety but I guess my depression is winning over again.
    years ago I was diagnosed by my doctor as having depression and anxiety, I’ve been off medication for years and thought I was on the right/good path.
    seemed as though all this was, was a bit of anxiety that I thought was due to to tough year we’ve all been through, but now I think it’s something more.
    I feel more and more miserable each day

  26. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    1 February 2021
    I thought cleaning up and organising our house might help, but I still feel miserable
  27. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15314 posts
    2 February 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hello Rynn, try insect bombs, they will kill all insects inside your house, but you have to leave the house while they're 'going off', and if you're able to, go outside with a broom and remove the spider's web and any air vents if you have brick walls, put some insect screen (what's used to for your windows to keep the flies out), if you don't have any spare laying around, then put some alfoil, if you can check on this every few days, then hopefully with the bombs you won't have any spiders.

    There are also those sprays you attach to the wall that spray every few minutes that kill any insects, flies and spiders or you can place them on a shelf.

    You don't have to clean the whole house in one day, just do room by room, bu placing the bombs in your house maybe an incentive, take it at your own time.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    8 April 2021
    It’s been ages since I’ve posted last. Nothing has really changed since my last post, but need to vent. I feel like I’ve been going crazy lately I try and try (at least I think I’m trying) and nothing seems to get better. This spider season has been horrific in our house (since the start of spring I’ve killed about 48 whitetail spiders inside) my anxiety is the worst that I can remember it and I feel conditioned to expect a nasty surprise when I open cupboards or do laundry. I’ve finally booked pest control but they can’t come till the end of the month. To add to all this my relationship has suffered tremendously due to the last few months. This last year and a bit have been horrible and now all I can focus on is spiders and when the next one will appear, it takes me easily three times longer to do anything because I’m so anxious and I can’t relax. All I want to do is talk about each one I find which has left no room for any other discussions.
  29. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    8 April 2021
    Everyone else I’ve spoken to has said spiders have been bad at their places too, but why does it seem that I’m the only one so obsessed that nothing else matters anymore? There have been days where I wonder if I’ve lost my mind. It’s just spiders but i cant stop thinking about each time for hours afterwards
    like the bushfires stressed me out badly, and that’s when I stopped sleeping properly then the storms started. After that it was COVID
  30. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1359 posts
    10 April 2021 in reply to Rynn

    Hi Rynn,

    Yes anxiety does this to us... things that never really bothered us does now because your anxiety is turned up...

    I once had severe anxiety but have now recovered due to the help I received from professionals..

    have you thought about seeing your gp about the way you are feeling? My gp was amazing through out my mental health issues... I was put on a antidepressant for my anxiety which really helped and I did a mental health plan aswell which gave me 10 free sessions with a phycologist... they gave me many strategies for my anxiety which really helped.... 😊

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up