Im sorry to hear this turned out to be a stressful time rather than a happy time.
Ive probably joined this conversation a little late as it seems you have come to a decision already, but you should take a little bit of pride from knowing you tried. It was something you wanted to do for a long time, so good on you for giving it a go.
it may not be of help now, but cats do fine on their own. They sleep for a crazy amount of time (like 20hrs a day) so once they pass the crazy kitten time you will discover they are (mostly) very chill. For future reference, cats like routine, so if you will be out most days, just make sure you have set times for feeding & some play. A good idea is play before dinner, then let them eat, then the cat will generally want to clean & sleep 🤣
Another thought, if you ever decide down the track to try again, you could always adopt a senior cat. They will tend to sleep even more so won’t be so reliant on you being around all the time.
Just because you weren’t ready this time, doesn’t mean you won’t be ready down the track to try again with another pet.
Another tip that might make getting a pet a little less stressful would be just reading up on the different types of breeds & their personalities as well as general information on cat care.
I often watch a show in Foxtel called “My Cat From Hell” & it’s all about people who have probably adjusting to their cat, or the cat adjusting to them. So this guy called Jackson Galaxy comes in & teaches them how to care for the cat & what to do/not do, I’ve picked up a lot from that show.
ooo, just had another thought. If owning a pet is not something you can fit into life right now, what about volunteering at a local pound or dog/cat rescue? Quite a few places rely on volunteers to help clean, feed or exercise the animals. My friend used to walk the dogs at her local pound once a week which I always thought sounded quite fun.
Best of luck with your decision with the kitty. Don’t feel bad if you do say goodbye. Giving the kitty back to the previous owner is the best thing to do in such a situation & im sure a kitten will find a new home very quickly.
im not an expert in any way, I just love animals so am happy to share my knowledge with you if you ever have questions.
lve had dogs, cats, rabbits, mice, a rat & fish over my time & they all have their own unique qualities.