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Topic: Saying hello

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. pinkandgrey
    pinkandgrey avatar
    13 posts
    19 May 2021
    Hello All

    I've been browsing the forums and I've been struck by how wonderful and supportive this community is. It's given me the courage to sign up and write this first post.

    I have had social anxiety all my life, and as a result I have never been able to build meaningful friendships and relationships outside of immediate family. I am in my thirties and I still live at home, and I have been content in having a very small circle of people to talk to and to have no social life outside of work and home. This changed at the start of the month when I visited the doctor for recurring lightheadedness; it turned out to only be a little bit of high blood pressure that could be corrected through diet and exercise, but my feelings of anxiety have spiraled since. Now I have a hard time concentrating at work, any confidence I had has been shattered, and I feel like there is impending doom around the corner at all times. The anxiety jolts me awake in the middle of the night and stays with me most of the day; if I'm lucky I have a few hours in the evening where they settle down enough for me to get a small reprieve. As I write this now it's early evening and I'm starting to feel a little better.

    I've spoken to most of my family and a few friends at work and they have all been very supportive. I have also had an initial consultation with a psychologist to find the professional help to get through this.

    I called Beyond Blue this past weekend and the counsellor I spoke to suggested these forums as one way to work through the anxiety. I was initially apprehensive, as my social anxiety extends online, but now I see how it would also be good to interact with people who have experienced the same and understand what I'm going through. Hence my signing up to these forums. I'm looking forward to sharing experiences, learning from others and lending an ear when needed, so to speak. So here's to positive posts and good days!
  2. CalmCat
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CalmCat avatar
    354 posts
    19 May 2021 in reply to pinkandgrey

    Hi pinkandgrey,

    Welcome to the forum and thank you for such a special and humble first post - you're amazing!

    I too have battled SA my whole life, its something you have to build tools against and over come in your own personal way. This can be done through intense meditation, life styles changes and definitely talking to your GP about other option if the SA persist.

    But most importantly don't be ashamed of living at your parents and having a quiet social life, these traits just make you who you are! Love yourself and own every quality about your special soul!

    Let us know your thoughts.

    Regards,

    CC

    1 person found this helpful
  3. pinkandgrey
    pinkandgrey avatar
    13 posts
    19 May 2021 in reply to CalmCat

    Thank you for the warm welcome, CalmCat!

    Your kind words mean a lot. The social anxiety also came with a lot of self-esteem issues and it was only in recent years that I was starting to learn how to love myself. I'm trying to build myself back up each day and my short time in these forums are already starting to make a difference. Thank you again, and I'll keep your words and advice in mind always!

  4. chriscollected
    chriscollected avatar
    7 posts
    21 May 2021 in reply to pinkandgrey

    Hello pinkandgrey,

    I absolutely respect you for reaching out onto the BB forums for support and to reach out amongst like-minded individuals that struggle with similar thoughts and feelings.

    I’ve always generally been a very anti-social, shy individual that finds it hard to make friends. I reached out to my partners circle of friends but I think I haven’t been as supportive enough of them to even consider the thought of me. I dunno, I try and try again but I know they all have a very shy mentality as well so maybe being a bit more open with them might help a lot more.

    Otherwise, I generally interact through social media and gaming which has really helped for additional social interactions... though once I get in real-life, oh boy, am I a mess hahahah.

    I’m continuing to learn more and more everyday, trying to keep my head up high. I recently have been dealing with random anxiety attacks that have never happened until only a few weeks ago. It’s been draining and really let my social life fall down the drain a bit.

    ... but one step at a time, I say. Still on a waiting list for another psychologist and i’m going to be the most transparent I’ve ever been with any psychologist I’ve had... I generally shy away but not anymore.

    CalmCat was correct. Never be ashamed about your social/life conditions. If that’s what you chose to do and you have an absolutely loving family that have nothing but support for yourself then what else really matters?

    I hope you’re doing better tonight and wish you a good nights rest, bud.

  5. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15314 posts
    21 May 2021 in reply to pinkandgrey

    Hello Pinkandgrey, a warm welcome to the forums and thanks for coming to the site and hope you are able to feel comfortable talking with us.

    When you suddenly wake up during the night, just remember that whatever you have been thinking about, try and push it aside because you can't physically do anything at that precise time to rectify that particular situation, so turn the radio on and listen to some music, taking some deep breaths.

    Can I ask you a question, and only answer if that's what you want to do, have you had any thoughts about moving out of your parents home and into your own flat/house or rent?

    It's good to talk with other people who have been through similar or other types of depression, people you don't know and don't know who they are, sometimes this makes communicating much easier, while others prefer talking face to face with another person, it all depends on how you want to talk.

    Sometimes different ideas are raised by the online forums that may make you think and then discuss with people you might want to talk to, just to get their ideas, doesn't matter all of this is good.

    Hope to hear back from you.

    Geoff.

    2 people found this helpful
  6. pinkandgrey
    pinkandgrey avatar
    13 posts
    21 May 2021 in reply to chriscollected

    Thank you chriscollected

    My social anxiety was brushed away as just being really shy when I was a kid, so that's what I thought it was. Because I went out of my way to avoid social interaction (even online) I ended up with a small circle of people who I love and would not trade for the world - however now that I am having these anxiety attacks I want nothing more than to reach out to people, a weird compulsion I've never felt before. But of course the only thing now that I can think about is my anxiety and it's not a great topic to open up with to new people. I want to get some of my previous courage back so that I can attempt new friendships.

    Agree with you that it does take one step at a time. I hope that you manage to have great success with your new psychologist. In my first consultation things came up that I had forgotten about or even repressed so yes, being completely transparent is important and possibly even cathartic.

    Appreciate your response, and I hope that you continue doing well in overcoming your anxiety.

  7. pinkandgrey
    pinkandgrey avatar
    13 posts
    21 May 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hello Geoff, thanks for your response and the welcome.

    When I wake up in the middle of the night I can sometimes soothe myself back to a fitful sleep. Last night though I ended up sleeping in my mom's arms because I was freaking out from fatigue. I got some rest, but now my mind is wondering whether I will be able to get back to my own bed soon.

    Prior to having my anxiety attacks I was seriously looking into buying a home last year, however I had to pull out as being single getting a good loan was proving to be difficult. Now that I'm experiencing these thoughts and feelings I don't feel like I would be able to move out anytime soon as during my semi-bad to worst moments I crave my family's support.

    I was thinking the same about talking to other people who have experienced or are experiencing the same thing, and the forums have been helpful so far. Everyone has been so kind, and I really appreciate it. I have also joined an online support group, but I have found it unusual that even with my social anxiety I keep looking for face to face conversations to get me through this. Maybe it's trying to get some strength and reassurance from others, I don't know.

    I have been looking through the forums for different ideas and sometimes just a distraction even. I love reading through the self-care and what are you grateful for threads for a pick me up. Thank you for taking the time to reply and give advice.

    pinkandgrey

  8. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5944 posts
    21 May 2021 in reply to pinkandgrey
    Hi pinakandgrey, 

    It looks like you have made some great connection on the forum already and they are providing you with some super support. We just wanted to drop in and say welcome as well! 

    Thank you for being so brave and for sharing your story and experiences, it is a great step along the path to feeling better. It looks like you have already given our phoneline a call, we just want to remind you that if you need to you can always call again. We are here for you if you need us.

    Kind regards, 
    Sophie M
  9. pinkandgrey
    pinkandgrey avatar
    13 posts
    21 May 2021 in reply to Sophie_M

    Hi Sophie M

    Thank you for welcoming me. I have appreciated the support I have received on the forums and I'm hoping that even through my difficulties I can pass on a little comfort as well.

    I haven't called the phoneline again, but it is a comfort that I can whenever I need to speak to someone. I was pleasantly surprised that I got on to a counsellor so quick at an irregular hour and that he took the time to speak to me and answer all my questions.

    Thanks again

    pinkandgrey

  10. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15314 posts
    22 May 2021 in reply to pinkandgrey

    Hello Pinkandgrey, thanks for getting back to us, it's good we can talk with each other because all of us have our own different problems, no one is exempt from this, it's virtually impossible and it doesn't matter who you decide to talk with, getting it out of your system can bond with another person/people, that's the connection we need to be able to feel better in life, although unfortunately, this may take a little time, but it may happen straight away.

    It's just trying to establish confidence and when someone is suffering from any type of depression this may not be easy to begin with, just feel convinced that people on this site have started off being in the exact position, just take your time.

    Take care.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful

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