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Topic: Self Hatred

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Sickofeverything
    Sickofeverything avatar
    4 posts
    17 August 2020
    How do others cope with self hatred. I am really struggling with this at the moment
  2. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    10722 posts
    17 August 2020 in reply to Sickofeverything

    Hi Sickofeverything

    Self Hatred/Loathing is horrible to experience...I remember feeling the same

    You are not alone experiencing these crappy feelings. Just so we can provide better support..Can you let us know a little more about yourself? You are proactive by having the courage to write your own thread!

    The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post

    Im Paul and there are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you too

  3. Sickofeverything
    Sickofeverything avatar
    4 posts
    17 August 2020 in reply to blondguy
    I am in group therapy but I come home feeling so upset and am really uncomfortable when there. I want to persist with it because I know the feeling uncomfortable is possibly a good thing, but I find it so hard to open up to people and I don't want to hurt them by not sharing or triggering them. I struggle when I'm there trying to express how I feel and try to get discussions away from me. I know to get the most from the sessions I need to open up but I just can't do it because of the huge hate I have for myself. I know you can't learn to love others until you learn to love yourself, therefore I avoid being around people
  4. White Rose
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    6313 posts
    17 August 2020 in reply to Sickofeverything

    Dear Sickofeverything

    Welcome to the forum. It's great you have found your way here and want a conversation on self hatred. Sadly it's true that many people feel they are not good enough for the world and dislike the person they are. You are right that letting people help you is a good start to getting rid of these dreadful feelings.

    Not knowing who else is in the group I cannot make specific suggestions. I wonder if any of the group members have been in this sort of group situation before and have become used to sharing their stories. I also know that every one of us sees our own circumstances differently. This is one of the strengths of posting on this forum and of talking in a group setting. Well done for trying to join in. We see ways of coping that we may not have thought of on our own.

    I'm not entirely sure you must love yourself before loving others. I know this is something I took for granted but over the years I am less convinced. If you put energy into helping someone you often feel good about it and that is a good feeling. May I suggest you think about what or how you can do something for someone(s) in your group and focus on that. It does make discussion easier for you and can help you make some disclosures about yourself after a while.

    When we focus on our own self dislike it is hard to chat because we are usually ashamed of being such a bad person. It's not true of course but it is a huge handicap. So focus on the others and talk about what they are discussing. It helps you to feel included and the others to feel you care and are interested in them. Talking about yourself will become easier as you go along. Listen carefully to know what the others are saying about themselves and see how much you share the same or similar experiences.

    When I started posting on BB I was frankly scared someone would know who I was (did not happen) or that I would show myself up as an unpleasant person(no again). I have been in groups similar to yours and yes it can be daunting to join in at all. Even more so to talk about yourself. I felt I was unworthy of such attention. Does this strike any chords with you?

    Please persist with your group. Maybe you can share how hard it is to open up at all. I would love to continue this conversation.

    Mary

  5. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    10722 posts
    17 August 2020 in reply to Sickofeverything

    Hi SOE

    therapy is very hard work and I used to get home really upset like you do...not to mention me bursting into tears during my one on one therapy which is why there are tissues on the table I guess...I understand your pain

    you are very proactive with your well being....not only engaging in therapy.....but to have the strength to be a part of the forums too!! I know many people that dont have your strength as they choose 'not to have therapy' as its too hard/too uncomfortable

    I hope you can be proud of what you have accomplished so far ....even for a day :-)

    please be gentle to yourself...you are amazing

    Paul

  6. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    3434 posts
    17 August 2020 in reply to Sickofeverything
    Hi Sickofeverything,

    Welcome to our friendly online community. It's great to see that so many of our community members have already popped by to welcome you and relate. We're so sorry to hear that you're struggling with feelings of self hatred. Please know that you're not alone - we hope that you can find some comfort in the gentle words of our friendly community.

    It's great to hear that you're seeking help in group therapy. It must be difficult to feel the way you do in the sessions - we think you are so strong! The fact that you are still going and trying even though it has been tough is an achievement within itself. You might find the following resources helpful in those moments that you feel stressed:
    Please remember that the Beyond Blue Support Service are available to you 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

    Please feel free to reach out here and keep us updated on your journey anytime you feel up to it.

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