Topic: SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

Hello

Something that helps me is framing anxiety as future related and depression as past related.

So being present is really helpful for both.

I use exercise and grounding techniques to be present in my body now - especially if I'm starting to have panic attacks or depression is getting on top of me.

Walking is a really simple exercise you can do for free practically anywhere. And paying attention while you're walking to your breath and your muscles and how you pick your legs up and place your feet keeps you present in your body.

And just putting your feet on the ground and feeling it under you and stable is a very simple grounding technique that's accessible to nearly everyone, anywhere at any time of the day or night.

I don't drink any caffeinated things anymore either - or alcohol - and interestingly this (and lollipops) helped me quit smoking too.

Also saying NO to too many demands helps me. If someone can do something on their own, for themselves, and they ask you to do it for them, you can say No.

meditation helps too.

And talking - finding someone who you can really talk to is great. That might be a counsellor or psychologist or your sister.

Sometimes you have to let go of jobs, people and places that are making your anxiety or depression worse.

Sometimes your life situation will be making your anxiety worse and you will need to find daily managing techniques.

This whole thread has some great ideas for how to do that.

Here's another piece of advice that has helped me - half-arsing something is better than not doing it at all.

That might mean you eat cake for breakfast instead of not eating any breakfast.

Or you might walk around your building instead of going for an hour long walk.

Or you might brush your teeth and put on a clean pair of pjamas instead of having a shower and getting dressed.

That last tip might be more depression related - but they do get tangled. And it helps if you are getting overwhelmed by unexpected change to be open to half arsing things sometimes.

I hope that helps someone.

It's pretty uplifting to see all these posts with helpful ideas and tips.

Thanks everybody.

I didn't read all of them - but what I did read was really lovely.

Thanks. Most helpful.

Hi Haraldo Coco F and everyone ☺

Just wanted to thank you for your time and a great post Haraldo there's a lot of solid helpful techniques there.

I find walking good because there's a lot of distraction, cars people houses animals birdies etc for distraction and being outsides away from ourselves kind of too.

Nice being amongst it.

Thanks too to everyone contributing it all potentially could help others.

Take care and remember breathing nice deep & often. It does help.

Read the other day deep breathing helps with I think the frontal cortex or lobe that helps with rational thought. Rational was the crux but might have the wording wrong for what part of the brain gets activated.

When we can direct our thinking we'll be more in control and in better head space I'd think.

Take care ⚘🌱🕊

Hey DB, nice to see this thread revived!

Hey Haraldo and Coco F, warm welcome to the forums, it's great having new members on board and sharing!

I liked reading your reminder, Haraldo, of depression being about the past and anxiety being about the future.

I also liked how you practically described actions that are good enough for today! Absolutely agree 100%.
I find just beginning a task, then doing it is great! Doesn't matter if it's not perfect. Getting it done is fine by me lol.

Perfectionism is a huge paralyser. It's not worth keeping such relentlessly high standards because perfectionism is unrealistic.

That topic and many others are covered beautifully in Brene Brown's podcast. Gosh some of those interviews are ones I recall and I smile about often.
Another is 'sitting with your feelings'. So instead of resisting or 'fighting' or distracting ourselves, actually exploring them. I personify each emotion into friendly monsters. Have a talk with it. Thank it.

Emotions seems to rest well then, miraculously!

In this age with the possibility of becoming lost in social media and the news full stop, I've found quitting this of huge benefit to my MH.

Knowing what we CAN control or what IS within our influence, then working within these parameters works to keep me achieving my goals.
Placing all else outside and allowing those in charge to take care of that (whether they do or don't, it's not my issue to worry over).
This is a Covey strategy, written many decades ago but more relevant now than ever!

Saluting the sun and dawn is one of my favourite things to do each morning.
Smiling as I greet a new day.
Saying thankyou for whatever pops into my head.
It's very calming and grounding.

Being able to self regulate is a wonderful goal.

Love EMxxxx

I’m glad someone else uses this as a coping mechanism. Sometimes my anxiety is di bad I just curl up and stream Netflix. My anxiety is paralizing so I can’t practice any form of self help.

Do others do what I do till they feel a bit better?

Hi GallMaree Ecomama readers and all.

GallMaree welcome darl to the forums all inputs greatly appreciated.

Yes I hope I'm putting in the past finding ways of blocking pain similar to what you're talking about.

The problem with that although it's a comfort zone for sure is I doubt our chances of overcoming or at least controlling anxiety which can be achieved with practice on new coping strategies can be reached.

I hope you find here's very helpful not just here but overall on various threads there's a lot of wisdom and techniques people have found helps them.

Thanks for posting hope to see you again hun ☺

Eco so sorry darl I've been meaning to get back to you here but landed at last.

Thanks as well for your insightful post hun it makes a lot of sense.

Yes I too am finding looking into anxiety thoughts and a must is breathing deeply that spreads the oxygen especially when in anxiety we tense up so much it helps relax as well as give us a different focus.

Anxiety is largely fear. It takes our thoughts as you mentioned eco to what ifs that might not eventuate so we waste a great deal of negative energy hyper focusing on things we'd have to deal with at the time. We can redirect this energy to help ourselves by changing our thought pattern.

I think it can help though if we can use the thoughts constructively like ok what can I do if it does happen and not allowing thoughts of I won't cope then we think and believe that.

I'm also slowly starting to learn to let rubbish thoughts drift and dismiss them by self talk. The more we think past our first thought it seems to open the mind to rational solutions.

Liking this Eco " Knowing what we CAN control or what IS within our influence, then working within these parameters works to keep me achieving my goals."

Yes it's an amazing feeling even doing just a part of something anxiety says we can't. We can by gently in small steps doing. The benefits are rewarding.

I guess our first step towards recovery is gently but firmly telling ourselves we CAN & WILL 😊

Recoverys within us all.

Take care everyone and thanks for the great input

🌱 new beginnings start with us

Someone once mentioned to me that when they were ruminating they imagined a red stop sign and told themselves 'STOP'.

I want to try practicing that!

I've definitely started doing this and it has helped a lot!

When I get really anxious I kind of forget how to stop talking or how to filter my thoughts so pretending there is a voice in my head yelling "STOP" as soon as I notice that I'm doing it has helped so much!

Another thing that I like to do is hold my own hand or put a hand on my chest so as it reminds me that I'm still in my body and is a great way for me to feel a bit more grounded.

Hi Adalaide!

I am so glad that 'STOP' has helped you! I have tried practicing it too and when I am successful at it, it really helps. I really need practice though because sometimes I am so stuck in my ways that it can be difficult introducing new techniques.

I really like the idea of feeling like you are still in your body! Sometimes I feel as though anxiety can take over your whole brain and you kind of feel like you are 'out' of your body.

Do you have any more tips?

Thank you Haraldo, great ideas and tips.

Hi Missep123,

I agree that introducing new techniques is so difficult at times but I truly believe that even if it takes years to master, it is worth putting in the effort to put some great practices into place.

I have plenty of tips that I've tried over the years! One incredible one that I've found increasingly helpful when I feel like I can't escape my anxiety and feel really overwhelmed is getting a piece of paper out and putting a timer for 10 minutes on and just blurting every single thought that I have out on paper. Then once the 10 minutes is over, I can see all of the things that are making me anxious out on paper and address them much easier. This is especially useful when I'm experiencing derealisation or depersonalisation as it makes me feel like I can't access my thoughts.

I hope this helps! I would love to hear some more of your tips too - we can all stand to learn some new things :)

I often find my anxiety and panic cannot be relieved through a thought process and need to use body techniques as my mind has disconnected from by body. These are my go to:

1. Hug yourself: Place your right hand underneath your left armpit and your left hand over your right shoulder. This makes me feel calmer and safe.

2. Massage: There are a few videos on how to massage your vagus nerve to help calm yourself down. Simple ones are to massage your fingers from the base upwards and your toes. You can also take your index finger and place it in the little spot about your ear canal (the hole in your ear!) and VERY gently massage in small circles. Sukie Baxter has some really great videos on YouTube about this.

3. Hang upside down: In a standing position, begin to fold forward from your waist so you're head is hanging towards the ground. Make sure your stomach touches your thighs so you might need to bend your knees to make this happen! Lean forward as much as feels comfortable. You can loop your arms together like a ragdoll to help as well or dangle your arms.

I find once I have calmed my body and nervous system down then my thoughts can be dealt with after that.

These tips are really amazing, I feel like they are going to be excellent in my anxiety 'toolkit'!

One thing that really helped me come out of a spiral recently was listening to songs that are positive in their themes. For example 'it knocked me down but I am now back on my feet'. Listening to these kind of songs on repeat really helps to push them into my mind if that makes sense!

Whatever I'm doing when a panic attack hits, I stop it. Watching funny cat/dog vidoes helps. Involuntary laughter helps me. Singing also helps me. Deep breathing (when I remember to do it - rational thinking can go out the window during an attack). Megan Buer 'Stop a Panic Attack in Two Minutes' video is great. I've always got Megan close to hand. I keep saying to myself, "It will pass." Knowing that I am not alone is a great comfort.

Love this Emma Mil. Love them All you Guys.

Mine: if I can, I try to find a secluded spot. If possible, close to plants, leaves, flowers. The nature has always been soothing to me. I close my eyes and try to take some deep calming breaths. I focus on this act for as long as I need it and then I try to listen to the surrounding sounds. Check if I can smell anything. What can I taste in my mouth? If I have to, I go back to my breathing. I check my heart beat and slow everything down. Gradually.

Hi everyone 👋 Welcome Emma Mll and Happywen to the forums ☺ your and all posts are much appreciated.

One of the many things I like about here is there's so many different coping strategies.
If some don't work for people there's other choices

I started a reply to some recent posts which are noted. Hope to finish & land them. Posts are being read it's not intentional if not replied too ☺

So true in anxiety our rational thinking isn't active
I now know it's still there and can be accessed

It gets blocked because we're hearing only what our minds are telling us which isnt necessarily how it is or will be

It's possible to access it amidst the racing fear strickened thinking we need further thought

Recently my mind went into overdrive being the operative word 😄

The internal dialogue was...
If I drive down the Rd I might or will have an accident

I was only focused on that. Stress and fear was escalating fast

With further thought ...Yes that could happen

Then...why would it?

Would it be through a fault of mine? There's no reason I won't be careful and alert

It could at anytime not just today.

By the time I'd finished reasoning I'd calmed down. The thought process allowed me to explore the other side of anxietys bombardment
I drove incident free.

What also helps at least slow & at times stop the racing negatives is to be aware that this is wasted energy creating high stress. I don't want it!

Rational thought can be accessed through furthur thought.

I just realised a dear friend 💜 here went through the same.

In their case imo it was good they didnt drive that day. They managed the next day because they'd worked through it. That was a huge achievement

In my instance ? because I caught it before it escalated further causing a paralyzing feeling making it easier to regain control/calm

*HappyWen hi sounds good stopping what you're doing at the time of an anxiety attack. May help too if we can figure why we became anxious at that time

Yes deep breathing's a good habit to get into which in the moment can be easily forgotten.
It does help knowing it'll pass. That'd be rational thought too.
I'll try to check out Megan Buer

* Missep123 hi Sounds like a good way listening to positive music and often. We need to hear the other side of negatives else we stay in that mode. Kudos 👍

All the best everyone it's encouraging the experts say we can get on top of this ☺

It's in us 🌱

⚘

Something new I have been trialling is that if I'm very nervous about something I imagine a version of myself of everything I want to be (i.e. super confident) and imagine how that version of myself would act. It's been interesting because changing the framework of how I am thinking helps to adjust my anxiety!

Hi everyone 👋

Missep123 hey there ☺. I like your above post. It's a good way to handle anxiety.

It's helps not only redirecting the focus of where our thoughts take us, it's positive and certainly achievable. Gives us a goal to work towards for better peace of mind which is what we all want.

We're taking control by considering our choices of how we can work through. Definately a plus on our minds causing havoc

Without further thought in turmoil we'll stay there

Your ways being proactive. Kudos darl ☺

I think we need to consider our thoughts in anxiety.

By reasoning which can open our thinking to coping strategies.
A good ways to ask ourselves if there's any validity to them in order to prepare IF/when it happens. Keeping in mind so often it doesn't eventuate.

I believe and have seen numerous times we all have intelligence.
Our strongest defence we're born with is survival.

When we allow more productive thought it let's our minds and survival step in towards better.
We're capable of so much more than we think.

Most thoughts are unrealistic and rubbish I'm finding.
I'm letting more of those go these days which lightens the load considerably.

In ancious times it's not easy as we know being aware. Often it's when we're tired.
I'm finding some energy in further thought comes on maybe because there's a chance giving hope that ignites some good chemicals rather than the negatives stress and pain.

Thanks always to the very good input here and across the forums.

Go easy good folk⚘

Sometimes when my body isn't anxious I find that it is looking for things to be anxious about! However, it is nice knowing that some things in my 'toolkit' are helping to reduce my anxious baseline. I look forward to learning more from this thread!

Hi all,
I know that this is self-help with anxiety and you're looking for more contributors, but what do you do when you're completely restless and nothing seems to be re-directing or removing the anxiety? Today has been on and off of anxiety for me and it's like in those moments I wasn't able to do anything but stay in the anxiety until it passed. I try to listen to happy music and play a game that I enjoy (anybody for hoyle board games?), but what do you do when you're mind/body is saying nope? For example, I put on some music and straight away my mind and body respond as if to say noooo nope so I try to play my hoyle board games and again noo no way so then I go for a walk and nope no don't want to. Does anybody else go through this?

Hi Child@Heart,

Thanks for your post :)

Yes, I go through this.. through phases where I cannot connect to a happy state, no matter how hard I try or what I try to do to overcome it, e.g walking or exercise, music, sometimes even coffee.

What does help me is resting up, so that my body has a break, and finding like-minded individuals so that I feel understood.

This is because a fair bit of my anxiety comes from others not understanding me, and at times I need to see people who don’t understand me when I’m not feeling up to it.

Keep communicating, that’s the key, and understand that it’s not your fault. You may just see the world in a totally different way to a lot of the people around you.

Hope this helps 👍

Kind regards,

Mrs Bean

Hi Child@Heart and all ☺

Although it's a bit belated but welcome to the forums ☺

In reply to your question about does anyone else have times when it just won't budge?

Yes many times. It's really hard isn't it in those times. Full stop anxiety's hard but when it's full on like that it's exhausting which I suspect is a big contributor to anxiety too. Sigh.

One extremely stressful time the anxiety was overflowing way past maximum it was really scary because I didn't know how to stop it or at least ease it just a bit for my sanitys sake.

Like you I tried a walk which helped a tiny bit but nowhere near enough. Looked around for distraction... no go. Also had other strong physical pain and meds adding to extreme tiredness that already was full on

I really thought I wasn't going to escape this mental torture but I guess at that point survival, the universe ...? Lateral thinking or firm self talk of no that's enough! I CAN get through this.

I can't atm remember what caused my change of focus but being outside led me to look at the stars that I love. It was a clear night and a very good area to see a fantastic view of them.

I stayed there for quite some time and only allowed myself focus on them and appreciating the beauty.

It calmed me significantly. Was still pretty worked up in a very hard situation but was enough to pull out of the extremes.

It sounds like you too had some parts of your day that it was at least manageable Child@heart which ? Might have been something you tried or was doing that refocused your thinking that you may/not have been aware of. I don't know but distraction is often a good tool but doesn't necessarily help the cause of anxiety.

Thanks for posting here and I hope you and us all can find ways that make it all more manageable. It is doable. I do think the majority of success in overcoming our hard times is in us to make it happen. We need to believe learn and practice are good starting points imo

Hope to see again sometime ☺

Take care everyone ☺

Remember ....to breathe ....deeply 😲 anytime and oftens a good habit....Oh and to breathe out too 😄

🌱 new beginnings start with us ⚘

Hi, Mrs Bean!

Thank you for reaching out with a response and letting me know I am not alone in this by sharing your experiences with anxiety as well.

I'm glad that resting helps you however I feel it sadly isn't the same for me. I can barely rest up and sleep as it is.. I mean well... I guess it's complicated I mean if I'm deep in my depression (a bad day) then I can sleep but I have lots of triggering nightmares and when the depression isn't affecting my sleep the anxiety keeps me awake. It's like I just can't shut my brain off at all.

I can relate to your comment about the anxiety coming from others, not understanding. It gets difficult, doesn't it?

Thank you for your support and I will do my best to keep the communication going. :)

Hi, demonblaster!

Thanks for responding and sharing your thoughts.

I am sorry you have dealt with anxiety though am glad that you found the strength to try to stand up to it!

The stars are beautiful! I often find myself looking up at them when I can get moments of peace in my mind to remember to look up at the sky. When I do it reminds me of a connection to my dad who has passed and my childhood. I'm glad that you have found some solace in that.

My father used to love the poem Desiderata and we have one of his quoted lines on my father's grave which is "go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence". I keep thinking as nice as that sounds and as much as it seems to make sense, it's hard when you have anxiety sometimes to find that silent moment in order to have that peace. Is that a catch 22? I feel like I have never used that in the right context.

I would like to think it is a matter of belief and inner strength but I just don't think I have that yet. At least for myself I can preach it to others and wish them well but myself? .. nope.

Same to you, and you take care as well. :)

YES! You described it perfectly! Absolutely perfectly 100% I get this too, I had it yesterday and it's still here today. You are strong. I am strong. You are stronger than you know and so are we all. You're amazing to have moved past this feeling in the past and are doing it again. Absolutely amazing. I have no tips on doing so but want to say well done.

yes! and i just cant seem to find the motivation to do the things that should help me.

does anyone else get work related anxiety? i really struggle the night before and in the mornings getting ready and out the door before work. once im there im generally ok but its the thought process of HAVING to do things within a time frame i guess. all i want is to be able to go to work and do normal things comfortably but its such an uphill battle lately. my boss is not happy with me as ive had to have a few days off becuase of my anxiety so that doesnt help either. one thing i can reccomend which has given me some form of hope is the book by Eckhart Tolle 'The Power Of Now'. also any of his youtube videos are quite helpful. i hope this helps someone!

Hi everyone 😊

DEEWAY/MRS BEAN & ERIN MACK. Hi there I'm not yelling with caps on 😄 just my Bold and Italics aren't working.

Wanted to thank you and everyone for your input which can be of help to many and I've no doubt many sadly can relate.

Welcome as well to the forums there's a lot of helpful info here and around the forums.

I'll be back to chat and reply in near future and to you Child @ heart and Missep as well ☺

Remember good people to breathe nice and deep several times often. It really does help in a few ways especially because we're tensed up it helps relax and focusing on only that gives our overwhelmed minds some respite.

Here's such a caring lovely community. We understand pain.

Care ⚘

Yes. I'm 39 male and have started getting this lately.

Usually within 2 hours of starting, i get anxious.

Never happened before.

Just this year.

Hi everyone ☺

MainlyG hi and thanks for posting which goes for everyone too. Welcome here as well same for all newbies 👋

It's not easy going through anxiety. I find it encouraging knowing it can be worked through.

A great deal comes from us inside. Working on controlling/ being aware of and directing our thoughts helps.

Up to you if you want to squiz through this thread there's quite a few varied ways people find helpful with coping.

Hoping that you're able to find ways to work through the hard times, never easy is it. Hopefully we become stronger from it.

Take care good people. I'll be back sometime near future.

🕊