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Welcome and orientation

Anxious about posting? Drop in here to say hi, we'd like to get to know you. In here you'll find lots of newbies, info about how the forums work, and you can give us suggestions on how to make things better around here.

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by mmMekitty
10 hours ago
Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers)

Space for sharing tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing with other carers.

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by Sophie_M
3 hours ago
Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family, and friendships.

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Space for discussion of generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety, phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, and eating disorders.

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by Butterfly26
18 minutes ago

Space for discussion of major depression, bipolar disorder, cyclothymic and dysthymic disorders, and BPD (borderline personality disorder).

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50 minutes ago
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Space for people aged 12-25 to discuss life and wellbeing issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other.

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Support following the bereavement of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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  1. Blufftuff
    Blufftuff avatar
    145 posts
    6 June 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Thanks for sharing as was very inspiring to me.

    Yes our minds are very powerful and often it consumes me (kinda like Overwhelming) and feeds on negative thoughts which can get out control leading to anxiety.

    Overtime I have learnt to control my mind and get in early and change my thinking so I am focusing on the positive and this reduces anxiety a lot

    Being on lots of medication this is often hard to do but I encourage everyone to try this and look forward to hearing results

    1 person found this helpful
  2. demonblaster
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    7796 posts
    7 June 2020 in reply to Blufftuff

    Hi Blufftuff and everyone 😊

    Thanks ☺ glad you got something from that.

    Anxietys awful. It's consuming and frightening.
    The overwhelming part can come on so quickly too it's like where did come from

    In severe attacks of anxiety I've been able to settle back down during the height of them that's not as hard as it sounds.
    That may sound like a few marbles are wobbly but truth 😆

    Redirecting the focus from what's going on which is so full on scary and as you said overwhelming to...

    • Concentrating only on catching the breath and being aware of breathing slowly in and out

    • I found also saying to myself in a matter of fact firm way this is anxiety I can get out of this.

    I think it's like depression, the more we think and acknowledge how we feel the worse it gets. 5akes time and practice but anything for peace eh.

    Yes definately the more we can be thinking on good things helps.
    Might be memories laughs we've had, things we get/have/had pleasure from trigger good feelings. Maybe endorphin release.

    The more we train our mind to focus more on goods than bads it makes sense that there's less room for negative nags

    Definately helps to catch them before they avalanche well done that's good control Bluffs

    Our thoughts become our reactions so with awareness practice and time we've more chance at controlling how we feel.

    It's tiring isn't it but anythings gotta be better than hell so it's worth the effort.

    Big calm breaths peeps ...innn annnd out slowly at times I do that often and does help calm in anxious times.

    🌱new beginnings.

    We can! We ARE strong enough no matter what our negatives say.

    Best to everyone ⚘

    3 people found this helpful
  3. SD0102
    SD0102 avatar
    200 posts
    8 July 2020

    I’m dealing with anxiety for the first time and was shared the link to this thread.

    There are some really good suggestions posted on here, so thank you to those who take the time to share.

    4 people found this helpful
  4. demonblaster
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    9 July 2020 in reply to SD0102

    Hi everyone ☺

    Good on you SD0102 it's nice you saying that. I'm sure that'll warm many hearts.

    They say which I find very comforting that depression and anxiety both can be managed.

    I do believe we have the strength we need to get through.

    Depression anxiety and pain bury our coping tools but they're still there.

    Hope you continue finding here of help. It's a great place where people understand hard times pain and help eachother like you just did. It's encouraging for people knowing they've helped others ☺

    All the best in your journey 🌱

  5. SD0102
    SD0102 avatar
    200 posts
    10 July 2020
    I’m just wondering if anyone has any successful tips on getting back to sleep once you wake up in the middle of the night ?
    I normally listen to a mindfulness app, when I go to bed, but after waking up a 1.30am this morning and still awake at 4am, I am open to suggestions.
    move had 3 night like that this week.
    2 people found this helpful
  6. demonblaster
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    10 July 2020 in reply to SD0102

    Hi SDO102 and all ☺

    It adds to anxiety too not getting the right amount of sleep. Stress levels heighten too you poor thing it's frustrating isn't it.

    There's a very good thread called "Sleep" One of our amazing CC's (Community champions) put up I think you'll find you get a lot of good tips out of.

    Best wishes ☺

    1 person found this helpful
  7. chloe.xx
    chloe.xx  avatar
    29 posts
    10 August 2020 in reply to SD0102

    Hi SD0102

    I know getting back to sleep can be really frustrating and annoying, have you tried reading a book? Reading can help relax the mind and encourage sleep.

    Hope this helps.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. davoid
    davoid avatar
    6 posts
    21 November 2020

    Hi everyone,

    new member. I appreciate all the tips and suggestions. I suffer from anxiety that started around 2018. I think anxiety is as varied as the people who suffer from it. I'd like to come at it from a different angle. A lot of the online help and suggestions assume the person is thinking about things that cause anxiety and/or depression (these are often linked in my experience), and that not thinking about them will help, or there's negative self talk going on that is causing anxiety, etc.
    But what if there are physical symptoms and/or actual situations that are causing the anxiety?
    I have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Fibro Myalgia since 1995. CFS affects the hormones, hormones effect all the systems of the body. Having a chronic illness can be quite limiting in many ways, so this can affect mental health as well.
    PTSD is a physical illness that affects mental health also.

    I am an active and practical person when it comes to my illness. I take many vitamins/minerals, Chinese medicine, health supplements, St John's wort, and Seremind (lavender oil). I walk every day with stretches, I do 8 mins of yoga and chanting, I do a 40 minute workout every 4 days (isometric/dumbbells/abs), I don't smoke, drink small amounts of alcohol off and on, sometimes months without any, no drugs.
    There's is not much more I can do for my health, but I still get depressed, and get anxious.

    With CFS and the hormones not working, in my experience it is similar to someone with PTSD, or the old fashioned term for returned soldiers: shellshock. I am sensitive to noise, cold, lots of activity, smells, etc. It is like I am right on the edge of a nervous breakdown. So if I look at my circumstances: 51, no job, no family, no friends, no energy to do much, no socialising, living in a unit that isn't temperature stable, living in a cool climate, living on a noisy street, etc. with a small chance of getting out. Isn't it an wonder I am feeling anxious?

    I just saying: sometimes the reality of the situation you are in is causing the anxiety and depression. Yes, you can meditate and it will help, you can exercise and it will help, but the situation is what it is. People end up alone with no purpose and our society isn't equipped to offer much help.
    It is a lot to ask the person who is drowning to just change the way they think about the water...

    I've thought about medication and been close to asking my GP for some, but so far I've resisted, but I think I need medication now.

    2 people found this helpful
  9. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    6608 posts
    21 November 2020 in reply to davoid
    Hey davoid,
    Welcome to the forums, we are glad that you have decided to reach out and share your thoughts and feelings here with our wonderful community. We can hear that you're really struggling with these intense physical symptoms and anxiety, but please know that you've come to safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to help support you through this. If you feel it may be helpful to talk these feelings through, we'd really encourage you to reach out to the kind and understanding counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service. They're there for you 24/7, day or night by phone on 1300 22 4636 or also through Webchat (1pm-12am AEST) at: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport There will be many others here in our community who will be able to relate to these feelings- you're never alone in this. We hope that you keep us updated here on your thread to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it. 
    2 people found this helpful
  10. blondguy
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    blondguy avatar
    11362 posts
    21 November 2020 in reply to davoid

    Hi Davoid and Welcome too!

    I understand your feelings with anxiety and the many physical reasons that can bring on these awful symptoms. I used to have acute anxiety attacks for a long time and take a low dose of an SSRI which have worked well

    Just for your information there is informative thread re physical symptoms of anxiety. The link is just below


    Just a note...my close friend was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis just a few years ago and then the anxiety issues started...Its not a nice place to be in Davoid...I hear you loud and clear

    The link above is a huge thread.....with many people discussing their own physical anxiety symptoms

    you are not alone


    2 people found this helpful
  11. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    22 November 2020 in reply to blondguy

    Hi all.

    Sometimes walking helps me a bit, but I get very anxious when I see people and cars driving past so that also makes me panic and I've had panic attacks. But I do it because I'm so used to it and my body feels funny if I don't walk. I try to look at the nice nature and birds, because I love nature and animals.

    Also, sometimes colouring in a physical colouring book or my colour by numbers app, aswell as a word search game on my iPad, helps.

    Music helps, whether it's music videos, interviews, any of that.

    Other than that, I still struggle to find coping mechanisms, nothing really works. Depends how I feel though. I have some stress balls & things like that that I use sometimes.

    Does anyone have any suggestions please? I have tried Mindfulness, and a Mindspot course but didn't find the Mindspot course helpful because of all the reading, etc.

    - Tayla.

    2 people found this helpful
  12. davoid
    davoid avatar
    6 posts
    22 November 2020 in reply to Sophie_M
    Thank you.
    1 person found this helpful
  13. davoid
    davoid avatar
    6 posts
    22 November 2020 in reply to blondguy
    Thank you. I will have a look.
  14. demonblaster
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    27 November 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi MB and everyone ☺

    It sounds like you're doing well with distraction and coping methods. Good on you ☺

    I miss walking due to foot probs.It's lovely looking at nature isn't it and surroundings. Exercise is a great stress release too.

    No need to reply if you're uncomfortable to. I feel sorry for you having anxiety and panic attacks when cars go past.

    I was wondering do you know why? Is it that you feel people would be looking and judging you? Not at all good feeling that way.

    I've found now and hope I can always control anxiety attacks with slow steady deep breathing. Only focus on the task at hand and not thinking further or reacting to thoughts that upset us.

    It spreads the oxygen esp with deep breathing. In fear anxiety and pain our bodies tense up.

    It also helps to relax by physically being aware of relaxing the muscles. Just soften your body. I work on my neck first.

    Our reactions are what bring on the attacks.
    Firm no nonsense self talk helps no end. No I'm not going to feel bad etc.
    I immediately shut off any more thought to anxiety thoughts.

    I believe it's built up stress coming out.
    At this stage we haven't yet learnt how to manage our emotions to gain full control over our thoughts and reactions.
    It takes time but we are able to get control.

    I'm also working at allowing more rational thought to come through and listening to it.

    With depression/anxiety we tend to believe the first negative instead of challenging and looking at other options.

    Our minds close but we can with further thought open them which allows more varied thought and a chance to have more time to control how we want to feel or how to handle a situation.

    I find it encouraging knowing and experiencing that we can handle both depression and anxiety.

    Regardless of what depression tells us we do have the strength to overcome and work through the darkness.

    Take care everyone there is hope for better times 🕊


    2 people found this helpful
  15. Azza56
    Azza56 avatar
    11 posts
    30 November 2020

    Hello all

    I have only been suffering from attacks for 3 weeks now but I feel like I know everything about it. I have found that going for walks, listening to music, drawing and watching a funny movie can help. I’ve also found that staying away from too much physical activity helps as a lot of anxiety pains seem to be related to muscle tension. Hope this helps some people, just happens to be what has helped me in the past 3 very exhausting and debilitating weeks.

    3 people found this helpful
  16. demonblaster
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    7796 posts
    1 December 2020 in reply to Azza56

    Hi there Azza and everyone ☺ welcome to the forums thanks for your constructive helpful post

    I hope people are finding ways of coping with anxiety.
    It's powerful and affects us physically too which can be temporary short term or for yrs.

    Good though along with depression can be managed.
    Like anything worthwhile when we learn how and put the yards in which beats feeling how we do now we can start breaking through

    An empty mind can be dangerous especially if we suffer from mental health (MH)

    Our moods are affected by stress and not enough sleep which increases stress including other causes.

    I'd say we all have/had stress.
    If our energys low we're mentally/physically weaker which makes it all harder

    Problems insecurities suppressed pain can rise to the surface.

    Our concentrations scattered.
    Awareness of our thoughts lessen.

    More time to hear the downs fears, forward negative thinking etc which with low energy we tend to follow first thoughts hence feeling lower

    Distraction is a great tool to help manage anxiety.

    What we can do to help ourselves get to the cause is focusing our attention to the cause of the anxiety which often has underlying unresolved issues.

    I think it's our minds way of clearing stress which we need to be free of to function at peak physically too.

    Whether through counselling, thinking it through reading especially places like here research etc.

    Bottom line is we're all capable of learning we all have intelligence.

    We have the tools it's about learning to use them.

    *H*O*P*E* ... gives us a reason.

    When we learn emotional control I believe we'll live in more peace and know happiness.

    Stress pain anxiety & depression fill our minds with blocking rational healing thought.

    It takes time but's absolutely the way to go.

    Azza I respect and appreciate what you've said ☺
    Excercise for you and I certainly can see what your saying about tightening muscles doesn't seem to help.

    I find it's very good for stress release because the deeper breathing involved gets the oxygen around and I feel the harder breathing out is an outlet for stress.

    It releases endorphines our feel good chemicals giving a mental lift and creates stimulation and energy that we don't have with anxiety & D.
    Also helps with sleep.

    When we're doing something our minds are on the job at hand.

    Hopes essential for survival. There is hope

    🌱 (new beginnings)

    3 people found this helpful
  17. Annie1974
    Annie1974 avatar
    12 posts
    24 December 2020
    I suffer from intrusive thoughts, health anxiety and anxiety attacks, PMDD and Hashimotos. I find being alone with my own thoughts incredibly stressful as i cant get out of my own head.
    I find being busy with jobs, shopping, kids, family helps me as well as finding online meditation to do that gets me to focus in outside things
    Watching an engaging TV show
    Anything that helps distract my mind rather than focus on the thoughts in my head.
    2 people found this helpful
  18. demonblaster
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Annie1974

    Hi there Annie ☺ and everyone 🖐

    It sounds like you have a lot on to deal with daily poor soul not easy at all is it.

    Thanks lovey for posting here. A great deal of us have anxiety which affects our daily lives in a negative way. It's helpful knowing people can find ways of dealing with the rot that goes on.

    If you're interested hun or anyone "Marconi Union" is rated the best music to calm anxiety stress Blood pressure heart rate etc.

    Called "Weightless" its quite nice and might be able to help you I hope. It's said amongst other things to reduce stress and anxiety by 65%.

    You do a lot for distraction which is great. I think meditation is good for us to work towards emotional control. Read today part of a sentence saying there's no bad meditation as in any attempts worthwhile.

    Wishing you every success in your journey. You sure have plenty to work through.

    Here's a fantastic safe place to learn and ground ourselves.

    Take care darl ☺ and everyone.

    4 people found this helpful
  19. Rivasands
    Rivasands  avatar
    2 posts
    22 January 2021

    As someone who has experienced anxiety on and off , along with depression and with bouts of medication where required these are the things I have found useful to 1)keep anxiety at bay and 2) “bring myself down” when having a very anxious episode.

    - name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This is very grounding when you feel you are losing control.

    -observe how other people are behaving - this can help remind you things are ok

    - deep focused breaths help regain composure

    - a strange one but I find it highly effective, get a cool face washer and wash your face

    - put happy music on ! You might not feel like it but it really changes the atmosphere

    -the meditation app simple habit is the best , a mixture of meditation and coaching

    - just do something different - change the scenario

    - push through the fear, the more times you expose yourself to it the less power it has.

    it’s still a learning curve for me and all the other tips have been great thanks everyone

    5 people found this helpful
  20. demonblaster
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    22 January 2021 in reply to Rivasands

    Rivasands and everyone hi ☺

    Welcome Rivasands that was a very impressive first post. Thanks for that I have no doubt it'll help a lot of people as would the many good suggests throughout this thread which is greatly appreciated.

    People giving their time advice suggests questions and conversation... it's Gold..is how we together can get on top imo.

    I've heard of the 54321 ... it's a good sounding one getting us in touch with 5 of our senses as we pretty much forget about the now in anxiety. We need the grounding.

    Hope you don't mind that I'll dot point it in case people might like to refer back making it stand out and some might copy and print.

    Rivasands finds helpful amongst other good techniques...

    • Name 5 things you can SEE...

    • 4 Things You can HEAR...

    • 3 Things you can TOUCH...

    • 2 Things you can Smell

    • 1 thing you can EAT ...

    Hope your time here at BB's good for you and everyone for that matter Rivasands and that you're managing more as you said with time and experience we get better at it.

    Truth. Practice makes perfect.

    Within us we have access to a lot of power from the mind which is what gets us through.

    We need reasons to work at it.

    We've gotta back ourselves in anything we do ...

    If we don't think we can ... we probably can't.
    No motivation reason or want.

    If we think we can...we probs will.
    Our minds open to lateral thought motivation ideas want etc

    Giving us hope which helps us push on.

    So when depression tells us we can't!

    We need to say ... WE CAN!.

    According to the experts both anxiety and depression for the most can be managed.

    Now that's hope! We need it to fire up those engines... 👋

    Vroom 🔥💨 ⛅

    1 person found this helpful
  21. blondguy
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    11362 posts
    23 January 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DB! & Rivasands!

    I havent been on this thread since the late 14th century...and there are many helpful tips here :-)

    This is only a brief comment re Managing Anxiety... just from my own experience since 1983

    If our anxiety begins to have a detrimental impact on our ability to function on a daily basis in our work or personal life.....seeing our GP is a really good step towards finding some peace of mind

    my kind thoughts


    1 person found this helpful
  22. demonblaster
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    23 January 2021 in reply to Annie1974

    Hi everyone ☺ excuse me for a sec being off topic.

    Annie1974 hi again darl I hope you're doing as well as you can hun.

    Wow I finally looked up Pmdd and Hashimotos disease 😯. Struth you poor soul.

    Without knowing about these two I could see you have so much on your plate including the other two.

    Just wondering if you have a personal thread I'd be happy to support you if you'd like.

    If you don't know how or need help with anything sing out.

    The best place is FAQ (Red rectangles for some crazy reason are called buttons at the top of each section) because page 1 has info on how to start a thread if you haven't and are wanting to that goes for anyone 🙂

    Gentle reminder peeps...

    Habiting deep breathing has been of a lot of help avoiding going into anxiety attacks I feel tho I had a few full blown ones and experience with it in general.

    So loveys howza bout all together 🤝 3 nice slow deep breaths through our noses if you can.

    Hold a couple of secs ...

    Yip that's the way...

    annnd gently out imagining all the stress leaving our bodies.

    You'd be surprised the effect that can have and focusing on the task is a distraction so boom diddy boom


  23. Rivasands
    Rivasands  avatar
    2 posts
    23 January 2021 in reply to blondguy

    Hi blondguy and demonblaster

    i Agree with that blondguy and have had to face the fact I am at that point again and am off to the GP next week.

    There are many techniques that can be used including some of the ones I mentioned but if it’s not as helpful as it once was and is affecting the day to day more often then not then it’s a great idea to see the GP.

    I don’t mind at all demonblaster I had noticed it hadn’t been mentioned in the threads ( that I could find) and have found it quite helpful.

    I think sometimes our anxiety becomes our comfort zone , which is not actually that comfortable. We accept it but in turn make our lives smaller than they are by staying away from triggers or anxiety inducing scenarios.

    You must remind yourself that you deserve happiness and actively seek it out - your comfort zone can become your cage. Start small and build up to the bigger stuff. Do one thing everyday that brings a little joy to your life.

    Make a happiness list and every time you feel a small tinge of happiness add it to your list - this creates a manual to create happiness in your life !

    I have found in the last few years that you shouldn’t “feed the beast” so keep pushing and challenging yourself when possible.

    mindfulness helps , particularly guided mindfulness meditation. It introduces new thoughts and strategies to help break the loop of your own thoughts.

    Im glad I posted , it’s nice to have a sense of community as it can be a lonely road at times. I will put up more tips as I come across them as I am actively looking for strategies all the time !

    2 people found this helpful
  24. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    4 February 2021

    For me, sometimes colouring in helps.

    Stress balls, grounding, mindfulness, meditation, etc. are some other suggestions.

    1 person found this helpful
  25. demonblaster
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    6 February 2021 in reply to Missing user

    Thanks MB it's encouraging knowing there's so many techniques that people find effective.

    We sure need something to get out of attacks. Preferably avoid them all together. They're very frightening as is anything interfering with breathing making us feel completely smothered and overwhelmed.

    Remember good people... to breathe ..... Slowly ...deep in and same out.

    Focus on that alone nothing else when you feel an anxiety attack coming on and throughout the days helps too.

    In pain whether mental or physical we tense.

    There's a lot of techniques here that if anyone wants to squiz I hope will find useful. Feel free to discuss the pro's and if any cons.

    MB the adult colouring books are very good.

    I introduced them yrs ago to my mil she still uses them and seems calmer from what I see and there's other benefits too like ...

    • Satisfaction finishing something
    • Something to do
    • Beautiful colours of choice
    • Memories of childhood drawing/colouring
    • Some I like this have wisdom and positive quotes
    • Focusing on the lines
    • Redirecting thoughts
    • Zoning out
    • Appreciation of various art
    • Some have themes ...maybe birdies flowers etc
    • Entertainment.

    1 person found this helpful
  26. Sean S
    Sean S avatar
    41 posts
    23 March 2021

    Hey everyone,

    A strategy that a friend pushed me to try is cold showers. I resisted the idea for ages, and finally did it. So far it has been the most effective strategy for switching off my trauma reaction other than medication and I do it everyday now. It's a shock to the system, like a reset. You can ease into it, start luke-warm and go progressively colder. Or jump right in. If you jump right in you'll hyperventilate for 30 seconds or so, that's ok but be careful not to get light-headed. I sometimes lie down in a warm room afterwards and mediate.

    There is some research supporting it's positive effect on mood.

    The benefits:

    - You cannot possibly think about anything else in existence while you have freezing cold water running over your head!

    - It's psychologically nourishing (makes you feel strong).

    - Leaves your body feeling pleasantly exhausted (like you've done exercise).

    - I feel considerably less stressed for about an hour afterwards (this could be the para-sympathetic nervous response)

    2 people found this helpful
  27. demonblaster
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    23 March 2021 in reply to Sean S

    Sean S hi and readers 👋

    Welcome to bb matey.

    Very good post thanks for that.

    I've heard about cold water and I think ice water too can get someone out of an anxiety attack bu...t NOT IF THEY HAVE HEART PROBLEMS...

    I'm not surprised about the benefits of cold water showers. I love cooler water for swimming and feel totally refreshed coming out not that I have for an age but awesome memories. Also feel invigorated.

    Thanks again for great input.

    3 people found this helpful
  28. ecomama
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    23 March 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey Deebee and everyone

    I just had to pop in and share something I learnt recently... quite the opposite to most people's first impulse I must say...

    "Thank anxiety".
    Spend time talking with the anxiety inside of you and yep, THANK it.

    Anxiety is really full on fear, the 2 are so intertwined it's difficult to separate them.

    So Thanking fear is a good one too.
    "Thankyou fear for working hard at trying to keep me safe... but I'm going to do abc anyway".

    I'm pretty confident that this practice for the past 2 weeks has soothed the last parts of C-PTSD away.

    Btw this is from Brene Brown's research, not me!
    Ref her podcast on fear. It's a beauty!

    Love and many Blessings

    3 people found this helpful
  29. ecomama
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    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    25 March 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Address your fears.

    Love EM

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    26 March 2021
    Sometimes playing a game such as a word search can help, for me anyway, or colouring in, walking, smells I like (Lavender for example), nature, animals, certain foods (comfort food), etc.
    3 people found this helpful

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