Good evening Gumtree77
It sounds like you are going through a lot. Thank you for sharing with us.
May your beautiful puppy dog rest in peace.
I'm sorry to hear about your health problems. It is understandable that we go back to what we know and our old habits in times of uncertainty. Maybe having control over these habits is our way of fighting back to whatever is going on. You are definitely not pathetic or useless, you are just trying you best, remember that.
I am glad to hear you have a wonderful son, how lovely that he was there for you during your healing! What you have said here about your positive habits is great! You should be really proud of yourself for doing your walking, exercises, cleaning, etc. Those are all big things, so good on you.
Have you got anyone close to you that can provide some support with tasks to allow yourself to have a break? Do you see a regular counselor or similar? If you feel that talking to someone regularly to work through your issues could be a good idea, I suggest having a chat with your doctor. Give them a ring and they would most likely be able to do a phone consult if you are feeling that concern about the virus and want to avoid going into the clinic itself.
I truly wish you all the best Gumtree77. Stay safe and healthy, and may calmness wash over you.