welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out!
I'm sorry you are going though some rough times - its brutal, you are not alone here.
I encourage you to see a GP, get a mental health care plan and a referral to a psychologist. I cannot recommend them enough. I've been seeing one for about 5 months now and I feel like im starting to navigate depression/anxiety and OCD.
Are you able to talk to close friends/family? As hard as it is, talking and opening up can be very liberating.
Its hard to believe right now, but it does get better.
we're all here for you.