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Topic: Struggling to support others

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. Jessten
    Jessten avatar
    65 posts
    30 May 2020
    I received a phone call yesterday asking me to pick up friends children as my friend was in hospital. I agreed to having them overnight but then got a phone call today saying they are keeping her in longer and she needs me to look after them longer. I dont know if the fact I'm not 100% myself or what it is exactly but I feel like I'm struggling to staying strong and keep it together this time. Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation and how did U cope with it? I feel guilty even thinking this way
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8366 posts
    30 May 2020 in reply to Jessten

    Hi, welcome

    I’d call that a “curve ball” meaning a friend in need still upsets a routine and worse still when you are functioning fully.

    If you’d like to expand in your health atm please do. We might have a better idea if your plight.

    When in similar state I watch a few YouTube videos. You can google these-

    youtube Maharaji Prem Rawat sunset

    youtube Maharaji Prem Rawat the perfect instrument

    Im sure your friend will appreciate you

    TonyWK

  3. Tay100
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    531 posts
    31 May 2020 in reply to Jessten

    Hi Jessten,

    Thanks for posting, we know it can be tough to do when you are facing a challenge, so we appreciate you reaching out.

    Please know that you are feeling is normal and valid- no need to feel guilty. We all feel the need to stay strong and keep it together (especially in front of kids or people we don't know very well) at one time or another. If it's strength and coping strategies you are after, I gently suggest checking in with your friend regularly, finding positive distractions, and doing self-care. For example, a positive distraction might be keeping the kids entertained, and self-care might be as simple as keeping up good sleep hygiene and eating well so that you can deal with the apprehension of your friend being in hospital. We can also talk more in this thread if you like, we are here to listen- talking about it can be a great form of cathartic self-care too.

    Sending kindness,

    Tay100

  4. Jessten
    Jessten avatar
    65 posts
    31 May 2020 in reply to Tay100
    Thankyou for the support and feedback. The kids have gone home with their dad/ stepdad now as they have school and I have work.
    i managed to keep the kids entertained and distracted but I still have no idea how long she will be in hospital.
    I just feel conflicted I know she wouldn't be there for me yet i wouldn't change anything.
    I am exhausted and just feel like curling up in a ball. I just feel like everything is happening to me at once between spending money on countless appointments with no answers I feel like I'm losing the plot. I've lost my keys and phone In the shops, sliced my feet open on a blade I didn't realise I'd knocked on the floor, spent hrs in ed to be told to just come back and have ended up with 2 infections whilst on antibiotics.
    I can push my concerns aside but when others are involved I find it difficult to be strong fit them.
  5. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8366 posts
    31 May 2020 in reply to Jessten

    Hi

    when it comes to being asked to help out with anything remember-

    its ok to say no!

    theyll have to find someone else.

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Tay100
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    531 posts
    1 June 2020 in reply to Jessten

    Hi Jessten

    I hear you, I'm glad the kids could go back to their family, but I'm sorry to hear about your keys and the foot infection! Wow! I hope it can come under control soon. You say you are exhausted; please make sure you don't spend to much time being strong and look after yourself, even if you have to 'schedule' time just to take care of the infection, have a hot shower, a good meal, and sleep.

    Keep us updated,

    Tay100

  7. Jessten
    Jessten avatar
    65 posts
    1 June 2020

    Well I tried to sleep last night but kept waking up before having a bath in the middle of the night to calm me down.

    I had a massage yesterday to try and help but even that ended in the stepdad being annoyed that I was at an appointment when he was ready to taks home.

  8. Tay100
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    531 posts
    28 June 2020 in reply to Jessten

    Hi Jessten

    So sorry I didn't see your message, it got lost in my inbox!

    How are things now anyhow?

    Sending kindness,

    Tay100

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