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Topic: Tired

  1. Truetomyself
    Truetomyself avatar
    99 posts
    28 May 2020
    At the moment I feel really tired and exhausted from my anxiety that is now impacting my depression.
    I am also tired of having to hide it. Especially with work.
    I can't afford to loose my job but I can't say what's really going on.
    I am scared and unsure of what to do. I have lost jobs because of my mental health being so up and down.
    I have no one to talk about it to.
  2. CalmCat
    Valued Contributor
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    CalmCat avatar
    354 posts
    28 May 2020 in reply to Truetomyself

    Hi Truetomyself,

    Thank you for such a vulnerable post.

    Please know that you're not alone, there are so many people out there in the same shoes.

    By simply talking and starting hard conversations like this one, we can all heal each other from today's pain.

    I'm sure your work place will understand that there are people having mental health issues at the moment; just be open with them. I'm sure they'll understand.

    If you need to talk with someone reach out on the Beyond Blue hotline on 1300 22 4636.

    Your so brave to reach out, keep reaching out as much as you need. You will come out of this a stronger person.

    Regards,

    Doz

  3. Helen72
    Helen72 avatar
    65 posts
    28 May 2020 in reply to Truetomyself

    Hi Truetomyself,

    I can understand you not wanting to say anything at work. Officially where I was 'ticked all the boxes" but when push came to shove, I was told not to talk about it and that made me feel worse as my whole life revolved around work.

    So I reckon you have to talk about it but you have to figure out who and where. These forums are a good start. then where? Family, friends, GP, ??? - let me know.

    Helen

  4. Truetomyself
    Truetomyself avatar
    99 posts
    28 May 2020 in reply to Helen72
    Thanks for your advice Helen. I have no friends or family. So I talk to a counsellor and that's it.
    It makes life hard for sure and I talk to my GP. But I am terrified as when I have had the discussion, I was performance managed out as I had too many days off and all the rest.
    I feel really alone on this and I am scared because if I loose my job, I will loose where I rent and where will I be.
    Sorry to sound negative but it is such a huge fear.
    I sitting here crying because I wish I could just day it but I can't and I am tired. It is just exhausting. I am exhausted.
    I just wish things were different.
  5. Truetomyself
    Truetomyself avatar
    99 posts
    28 May 2020 in reply to CalmCat
    Thank you. I appreciate you reading my post and your advice. I feel safe here but am exhausted from holding it together. There are just days I want to them I can't come in today I have anxiety and I am frozen. Some days I can't get out of bed, today I just cried because I hate to pretend to be something that is not honest.
    I have been dealing with this for 15 years. Hospitalised and on the same merry go round.
    I have social anxiety as well so it is hard too.
    I hate it. I have tried everything. My case is complex and I just wish people could say how they feel at work. I didn't ask for this. Yet I have it and it has impacted so much of my life.
    I am trying to stay positive but it is hard.
  6. Helen72
    Helen72 avatar
    65 posts
    29 May 2020 in reply to Truetomyself

    Hi again,

    There's more than your counsellor and your GP (well maybe) - there's us :-) And there's someone on the Beyond Blue hotline on 1300 22 4636

    Things may look bad but try not to look for the worst outcome. Take a deep breath, go for a walk (while the weather's nice) and maybe that'll help for today.

    'Talk' to you soon

    Helen

  7. Jesicca
    Jesicca avatar
    47 posts
    29 May 2020 in reply to Truetomyself
    Hi Truetomyself,

    I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling with this at the moment. I understand how hard it is to feel like you can't talk about these things, especially when its so hard to even just show up to work some days. Something I found really helped me when I was going through a really low point last year and having similar experiences was telling a trusted colleague/friend how I was feeling. It was nice to know that someone at work knew how I was feeling and that I had some support on those days when I forced myself to go in even though I didn't want to. I hope that this is something you can do with someone from you work because although it won't solve everything it is a good place to start. Even if it isn't someone you are close with I am sure they won't mind that you mention it to them, even you tell them that you have had some struggles with anxiety in the past and feel that it's a bit worse at the moment without having to tell them anything too personal. This takes away the pressure and fear of telling the boss or the whole workplace. You could even contact HR at the workplace and see if they have any systems in place for people who are struggling.
  8. Truetomyself
    Truetomyself avatar
    99 posts
    23 May 2021
    For 4 days I have been in bed. Not eating or drinking. I am lost and tired. My parents don't get it, no one does. Lifeline are no help. I am so alone. Each night I pray to die. It's all too much. 16 years of this does your head in.
  9. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5708 posts
    23 May 2021 in reply to Truetomyself
    Hey Truetomyself,

    Thanks for reaching out to the community tonight. It is so important to reach out in low moments like these. We are so sorry to hear how lonely you've been feeling, and we can hear that things have been especially difficult to cope with these past 4 days. It sounds like you must be feeling so much pain at the moment, and we understand that struggling over 16 years would make you feel lost and tired, and like it's all too much. But please know that you don't have to go through this alone, and our community are here for you. We are also reaching out to you privately with some additional support.

    We're sorry to hear that Lifeline wasn't helpful for you, but we'd urge you not to give up in finding the right support that works for you. Sometimes different counsellors with particular skills, and even personalities, can meet your needs and expectations in different ways. Our friends at Suicide Call Back Service are also always available to you during overwhelming moments like these on 1300 659 467, or through webchat at: https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling/

    We're all here to help you through this, and please keep updating us on how you're going whenever you feel ready to. 
  10. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    Petal22 avatar
    1168 posts
    23 May 2021 in reply to Truetomyself

    Sorry you are feeling this way truermyself,

    I had severe anxiety OCD...... I understand how tiring anxiety can be..... it’s exhausting..,,

    ive now recovered thanks to the help of professionals...

    have you spoken to your gp about the way it’s affecting you? Have you tried any antidepressants? I was put on a antidepressant to help manage my anxiety...

    you could do a mental health plan with your gp this will then enable you to see a psychologist who can give you many strategies to help you deal with your anxiety....

    Feel that heart beating inside your chest your supposed to be here.... never give up.... there is light at the end of the tunnel..

    here if you want to chat

  11. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    262 posts
    23 May 2021 in reply to Truetomyself

    Hi Truetomyself,

    Gee it sounds like it’s pretty bad being in bed for 4 days without eating or drinking.

    Have you been to a clinical psychologist? Sounds like you might benefit from proper psychotherapy. Also, you have talked to your GP, are you or have you been on medication for your anxiety/depression? Might help with the mood regulation a little bit.

    I understand what you mean about not telling work- my workplace is always boasting about its employee assistance program but I’m sure when push comes to shove they wouldn’t tolerate days off.

    I was only thinking today how there should be more provisions for mental health time off without consequence in our legislation...

    You mentioned social anxiety, do you have any friends you can talk to? Not even necessarily about your mental health but just to chat - we are evolved to need social contact with others and so this is like a powerful antidepressant in itself.

    Here to fill that need somewhat anytime you want though.

  12. Truetomyself
    Truetomyself avatar
    99 posts
    25 May 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    I see a trauma therapist but it's a 2 month wait. I am tired. My mum told me she refused to give me a pep talk as I have been through this before. I am struggling with energy and I am on my own. If I have no support, I can't do this.
  13. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5708 posts
    25 May 2021 in reply to Truetomyself
    Hey Truetomyself,

    Thanks for stopping by on the Beyond Blue forums,

    We're sorry to hear how low you're feeling at the moment. We're also sorry to hear how unsupported you feel at the moment and can imagine how hurtful it would've been to have your mother react this way. Do you think it could be helpful to reach out to a Support Service tonight?  The Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport We'd also let to check in with you privately and have sent an email.  Hopefully, some of our community members will be around soon to offer their support. 
  14. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    262 posts
    28 May 2021 in reply to Truetomyself

    How old are you truetomyself? 16 years is a long time to struggle in distress. I don’t know the details but from what you have said your mum is acting in a very un-empathic way to you.

    Has her attitude always been like this toward you? Humans need close to unconditional love and acceptance from at least one person growing up.

    Sorry to hear about the wait for therapy, that’s not good enough is it.

  15. Truetomyself
    Truetomyself avatar
    99 posts
    1 June 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    I am 39 and there is no empathy. All I want is a hug and to feel worth something. We use to be close and now she mocks me. Therapy is always a wait from one appointment until the next. Every psychiatrist has their books closed.

    I am trying but I am unwell too. I have an abusive father too.

  16. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5708 posts
    1 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself
    Hey Truetomyself,

    Thank you so much for keeping the community updated on how you've been going. We are so sorry to hear what you're going through at home, and understand that it can be very difficult to live with abuse. It must be so painful and disheartening to be put down by those who should be supporting you, but please know that you are strong, valuable and you have a right to live free from abuse.

    We hope you know that extra support is always available to you in between your appointments, from the kind counsellors at our Support Service on 1300 22 4636, or through webchat at www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. We'd also really urge that you contact our friends at 1800RESPECT, who offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely, supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice to people in your situation, and you can contact them anytime on 1800 737 732 or also through their webchat at: https://www.1800respect.org.au 

    However, if ever you feel unsafe, it's really importanty that you contact triple zero and ask for the police. 

    You might also find some advice in reading the stories of others. Some threads you might be interested in reading include:

    "Living with my abusive parents"
    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/hi-i'm-new-single-mum-living-with-my-abusive-parents-

    "Abusive parents and their effect on us, their children"
    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/ptsd-trauma/abusive-parents-and-their-effect-on-us-their-children

    We hope that you can feel the empathy from our community here, and please know that you are indeed worthy and deserving of support. You're never alone here.
     
  17. Doolhof
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    Doolhof avatar
    8687 posts
    2 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself

    Hi Truetomyself,

    I can feel your anguish. I know what it is like to be in a really dark place where you feel that no one understands or cares. I know that is my mind telling me those things! I have been in a place where I have struggled to see any way out or any purpose.

    It is hard for people who do not suffer from mental health issues to realise what it is like, to comprehend what is going on in our minds.

    It may feel like you are alone, but you are not. Sophie_M has been reaching out to you as have other people here in this amazing community.

    I'd like to encourage you to continue to use the support services. They have helped me through some really dark times.

    Is there one thing you could do for yourself today to help you feel like your day is more manageable and acceptable?

    Some days just sitting outside having a cup of tea refreshes me.

    Kind regards from Dools

  18. Bibbetyboo
    Bibbetyboo avatar
    29 posts
    2 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself
    Hi, I am in a similar position to you well from what I read.
    I have struggled for years after a mental breakdown in year 12. I am now 36 and have never been able to keep a job but don’t have any reason.
    My family have completely distanced themselves my whole life. They say I am too sensitive and just difficult and dont bother inviting me to gatherings but even when they did it was so awkward. I heard from a family friend they laugh and backstab me when I’m not there.
    My mother only responds with an emoji, no matter what i write.
    I am not difficult. I understand people have their own stuff and dont have time for my constant problems so i shut down only to be told I’m to blame for missing out.
    I have no money, no savings no job no car and a 10 month old son whoe’s father is on an IVO. I only just got us out of a year of homelessness after family violence.
    I am now a single mother and caring for my son helps me so much to put it all away somewhere else. Its still there but its so small now, all the pain all the depression.
    This might seem silly but have you considered maybe getting a dog or cat? Just someone to come home to, to spoil to love?
    Maybe..i don’t know. My son is a new heart for me though i am still very broken I live on and fight very hard for him not to be.
    Peace be with you from the bottom of my heart.
  19. Doolhof
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    Doolhof avatar
    8687 posts
    3 June 2021 in reply to Bibbetyboo

    Hi Bibbetyboo,

    I just want to thank you for sharing your story here. I am so sorry for the way your family treats you and they are not there to support and help you. It can be hard for people to understand what we are experiencing.

    I wish you and your son all the best and hope you are both safe and can grow together in love, with a caring bond.

    We all need someone to love. Sometimes we need to start with loving/accepting/liking ourselves more.

    Wishing you all the best, kind regards from Dools

  20. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    11982 posts
    3 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself

    Truetomyself

    I can sense the pain and struggle in your words.
    Despite your problems you are writing here and trying hard. I am sorry the people you want empathy from are not there for you.

    I am glad people are offering you support here.

    You are not alone and we are listening.

  21. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    11982 posts
    3 June 2021 in reply to Bibbetyboo

    Bibbetyboo

    Thanks for offering your support to Truetomyself, despite you having your own problems Your ten month old is lucky to have such a wonderful caring mum.

  22. Truetomyself
    Truetomyself avatar
    99 posts
    4 June 2021
    There is no point being here anymore. I am tired. I can't fight when no one cares at home. All I want is a hug.
  23. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5708 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself
    Hey Truetomyself,

    Thanks for joining us tonight on the Beyond Blue forums,

    We're so sorry to hear how tired and unsupported you feel at the moment. It sounds as though life at home feels very lonely. We hope some of our community members can provide some support and suggestions to help get you through this tricky time.

    It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the following website - https://kidshelpline.com.au/  We'd also like to let you know that our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

    Please check-in and let us know how you are whenever you feel up to it.
     
  24. TheWookie
    TheWookie avatar
    36 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself
    There is always a point to being here. I can relate to being tired and alone. I have been going through my ride since 1997, prior to which I was pretty damn awesome. But there is always a point to be here.
  25. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1168 posts
    5 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself

    Sorry you are feeling this way true to myself,

    A little something for YOU

    NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU

    no matter what you are going through always believe in yourself...

    things won’t be like this for ever, things change.... circumstances change... you may feel like this now but in time you could be in a totally different head space for the better...you need to believe the best is yet to come....

    I’m sorry to hear you have unsupported people at home but that’s a reflection of them not you.... give yourself some support and self love... tell yourself positive things about yourself.... practice gratefulness.... be your biggest cheerleader.....

    what do you enjoy doing?

    here to chat to you

  26. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    302 posts
    5 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself

    Hi Truetomyself,

    Sending you lots of love, and a digital hug! hugs

    I'm really sorry to hear that you're having a hard time at the moment. To have an abusive father must've been rough, and your mom whom you were once closed to, is not giving you the right support that you need now. I'm more than happy to chat with you if you'd like. It can be anything at all, can be like what Petal22 have just asked, or if you'd like to talk about what's on your mind, I'm happy to listen to you. Always here for you my friend! Stay strong!

    Jt

  27. Truetomyself
    Truetomyself avatar
    99 posts
    12 June 2021
    I can't sleep. I can't get out of bed and I am not eating. I really don't know what to do anymore.
  28. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1168 posts
    12 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself

    Good morning Truetomyself,

    Sorry you are feeling this way today, it must very difficult……

    Can you see a gp and let them know how you are feeling?

    Hang in there…

    here to chat

  29. Truetomyself
    Truetomyself avatar
    99 posts
    12 June 2021 in reply to Petal22
    I don't feel good. I am still in bed and struggling. I don't feel anything anymore. It's like I am frozen. I don't want to struggle anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. No GP, I am frozen and stuck.
  30. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5708 posts
    12 June 2021 in reply to Truetomyself
    Hi Truetomyself, 

    We are sorry to hear things have been so difficult for you for so long. It sounds like things are especially difficult for you at this moment. We want you to know we're here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

    Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

    We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

    Please continue to check in with us.
     

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