Like Smallwolf, at my worst times, I coldn't appreciate anything. I didn't have Google back then to help answer the question, & so I had to get on with thinking I was alone, unsupported, un cared for, with nothing. No one was going to help, so I had to help myself. It was that or starve, get evicted, or sleep on the bare floor of my flat.
Of-course getting up took more strength than I knew I had. just as it takes strength for you to continue to talk, as you have been , with Smallwolf. Might this be another thing you can be grateful for, that you have the strength & the presence of mind to talk here, to us?
I want to reassure you, Truetomyself, you are not alone. Some of us, like me, have been as part of the shadows in your room, here & listening, allowing you & Smallwolf some space to talk. I know, it's hard to quite believe we are real people out here, but, yeah, we are, & we're here. 😸