GAD sufferer here.
I'm going on vacation for a week tomorrow. It's a 2hr drive from my house in a nice hotel I've been to before. I've been looking forward to this break.
Last year I tried to go on holiday to the same place. On the drive there I had a panic attack and had to pull over. In the end I had my parents pick me up and drive me home. I didn't end up going on holiday.
It's the night before and the anxiety is starting to kick into overdrive. I know my first night anywhere is new is terrifying. I'm going to be honest I usually have to self medicate with alcohol to get through it. Then after that it's usually fine.
Here's just some of the things I'm worrying about:
- a storm hitting my house causing damage
- an electrical outlet sparking a fire in my house
- forgetting to turn something off which will cause a fire
- having another panic attack on the highway and trying to find somewhere to pull over safely
- something falling off my car while driving at high speed (it's happened before)
- getting to the hotel at all. Chickening out halfway there and turning back like an idiot
- getting to the hotel and spending the first night along in deathly silence
Also I don't have the option of having someone come with me. But I am having coffee with a friend before I leave so I'm hoping that that'll create some positive feelings. I also have my best friend on standby to call or text me if I need someone to talk to.
I know most (if not all) of these are irrational fears that I can physically mitigate. I also know that confronting fear head on is the only way to conquer it.
I don't know what I'm asking here. I guess I hope that writing it down will take some of the power away from my anxiety?? I don't know.