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Topic: Turning 25 and feeling unprepared for future

15 posts, 0 answered
  1. Yvaine
    Yvaine avatar
    15 posts
    26 June 2020

    Hi all,

    I've recently turned 25 and just gotten out of a toxic job that really exacerbated by severe anxiety to the point that I'd gone on medication.

    Now working full time, recently turned 25 and feel like I'm still 18/19 and time is always running out on me, like I'm always trying to catch-up on adulting yet feel like I'm no longer young. Get nostalgic and depressed when I think about the "better" times.

    Can anyone relate/share their journey/experience?

    Much love to all,

    Yvaine

  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    4302 posts
    26 June 2020 in reply to Yvaine

    Hi.

    Can I relate? Perhaps. I had a sheltered childhood and left home to go to study at Uni and then found a job. Inexperienced at most things. Lucky to have a brain I guess that worked for me. But I felt uncomfortable in most situations.

    But onto you... One positive in your post was that you were smart enough to get away from a toxic job. And well done for finding another job. You must have skills that are in demand.

    When were your better times? And what parts are you catching up on?

    Tim

    1 person found this helpful
  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    13380 posts
    27 June 2020 in reply to Yvaine

    Hello Yvaine, I agree getting out of this toxic job was a great move, and throughout our life 'we only wished that we could have done this or achieved that', so in hindsight plays an enormous role here.

    No matter what age you are, and I'm elderly, there is much that I wished I had accomplished in the forthcoming years and certainly from any chance I had in the past.

    There is no specific age where we believe we should have achieved something, it's only a wish we have, but that's something that is possible to give us the drive we need in life.

    If we need help to refocus then a psychologist may assist you.

    As you're 25 you could also contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 as this service helps people from 5 up to 25 years of age.

    Hope to hear back from you.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. bluenight
    bluenight avatar
    62 posts
    27 June 2020 in reply to Yvaine

    Yes definitely

    I can relate, when i turned 25 i was always thinking about my late teens, which were a lot happier and hopeful, i had more friends and i felt optimistic about myself and life in general.

    when i was 25 i was unsure about my future, depressed about where i was in life. I always wished things could be like the good old days.

    i also worked in a toxic work environment for far too long in a job i hated, dont do it, it has more consequences on your life than you realise.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Yvaine
    Yvaine avatar
    15 posts
    29 June 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Hi!

    I grew up very sheltered and still live at home as well.

    I guess times seemed better when you had "all the time in the world" to decide your path. I feel like I've given up on my dreams and instead have focused on reality and expectations (especially now).

    Generally just catching up on independence (I don't drive yet, too anxious!) Had my learners for about 9 years and can't seem to get past it.

    Thanks so much for sharing your story!! I really appreciate it:)

  6. Yvaine
    Yvaine avatar
    15 posts
    29 June 2020 in reply to geoff

    Hi there!!

    Thank you so much for your insight! It's great to know there is no specific age (I guess that's just a perception about society expectations)

    Trying to live in the moment, day to day and see new opportunities to do better and be better :)

    Thank you for the number as well!!

  7. Yvaine
    Yvaine avatar
    15 posts
    29 June 2020 in reply to bluenight

    Hullo!

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience too! I'm glad I don't feel so alone on this, though I'm sorry you are going through it, too.

    good on you for getting out when you did, too. I've learnt that there's a time when you need to take care of yourself emotionally, mentally and physically. You never want to bring work (especially toxic experience) home with you.

    How are things going for you now?

  8. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    4302 posts
    29 June 2020 in reply to Yvaine

    I guess it may also depend on what our dreams are?

    We had a kitchen redone a few years ago and i was speaking with one of the painters He did painting because it pad the bills etc. I cannot remember what he said his dream were, but saw painting as a stepping stone.

    I did not follow my dreams either. These days I have also met people that have followed their dreams, whether in music or working for themselves. I am starting to follow my dreams only now.

    Can you tell me a little about your dreams?

    Tim

  9. Yvaine
    Yvaine avatar
    15 posts
    30 June 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    I wanted to be a writer/filmmaker. Been discouraged for a long time

    Anything creative takes me away from reality and makes me feel more at peace

  10. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    smallwolf avatar
    4302 posts
    30 June 2020 in reply to Yvaine

    What had stopped you from going into film making? Or what has made you discouraged?

    I will admit that I have little knowledge of courses you could do... The children of someone I work with have part time job but one is studying music and the other is doing film related stuff. Gone are the days where you had to do medicine or law or

    These days the choices are limitless.

    Not wanting to push you in any direction ... just interested in your thoughts.

    Tim

  11. pinwheel23
    Mentor
    • Masters of Psychology student on placement
    pinwheel23 avatar
    35 posts
    2 July 2020 in reply to Yvaine

    Hi Yvaine :)

    It's great to hear that you were able to get out of your toxic job and find another. Congrats!

    Thank you for starting this thread. I can relate to growing up pretty sheltered and now trying to catch up on adulting. I also don't have my license yet - felt very anxious about driving when I first got my learners permit. Something I'm hoping to overcome over the next year.

    Like Geoff said, it's good to remind yourself that there aren't particular ages that we have to achieve things (despite what society may say). I think doing what's most comfortable for your emotional, mental and physical health and going at your own pace is great.

    I'd also like to second Tim - there are a lot of different routes to achieving your dreams and it'd be great to hear your thoughts.

    Looking forward to hearing more from you and how you're going :)

    - Pinwheel23

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Yvaine
    Yvaine avatar
    15 posts
    7 July 2020 in reply to pinwheel23

    Aw! I'm so glad to have helped in some way? :) We're all in this together hey!

    Late blooming adult coming through!

    All the advice and insight here has been so amazing and I am so so grateful

    1 person found this helpful
  13. pinwheel23
    Mentor
    • Masters of Psychology student on placement
    pinwheel23 avatar
    35 posts
    8 July 2020 in reply to Yvaine

    "Late blooming adult coming through!" - I love that!!

    We'll get through and slowly feel more and more prepared for the future as time passes - one step at a time :)

    How have you been feeling over the past few days Yvaine?

    x pinwheel23

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Xavi
    Xavi avatar
    3 posts
    8 July 2020 in reply to Yvaine

    Hi Yvain

    I can really relate to this , And I can tell you with certainty that you are not alone ! I started an apprenticeship at 25 and thought I was too old but I came to realize that this is just nonsense my anxiety kept feeding my brain. Your not alone ! everyone is different I call myself a late boomer almost everyday lol but I always remind myself that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The false sense of being on the clock . I remind myself that if there is something you want to achieve in life its never too late to do so! I thought this was just a saying but its the truth.

    2 people found this helpful
  15. Pip20
    Pip20 avatar
    7 posts
    10 July 2020 in reply to Yvaine

    Hi Yvaine,

    I am a little older (OK about 15 years older) and I still have days when I wonder when I will start "adulting". There really is no such thing, I have come to realise this and embrace it, I am who I am (an anxious mess some days, a rational professional on other days)

    There are so many expectations that we think we are meant to achieve - , buy a house, have a family, get your drivers licence, get a good job etc. These put a lot of pressure on people of all ages, especially younger people, because you put more pressure on yourselves than we ever did.

    I bought my first house 2 years ago, at the ripe old age of 48. A friend of mine has had her learners permit to drive for 30 years, and wow can she navigate the public transport system, it's incredible, she decided she didn't need a car, so it took the pressure off her to get her licence.

    As for your creative side..... this is the future, creativeness, film making, 3D, animations etc. Please don't let anyone tell you that this is not a good path to take, it is the future of our jobs and if you feel naturally drawn it to, maybe consider looking into it - it changed my life (I'm still an anxious mess - but now I sit with my noise cancelling headset on and work making things come to life)

    I recently changed careers (mostly due to that horrid year that is 2020) I am now working from home, creating 3D animation interactive video for corporate workplaces and my clients love it, I am creating their workplaces as walk through 3D worlds.

    I have always loved this type of work, but I have been too scared to test my skills, it all looked very hard, and I kept doubting myself and my capabilities, but I stuck with online tutorials on how to use the software and create this material.

    I love it, and I have a lot more freedom, I still have days when my anxiety hits (that is what my noise cancelling headset is for - I play soft music and the world around me disappears and I start creating.)

    Lastly, I am so happy for you for getting out of a toxic job, and for recognizing the need to do this yourself and to focus on your well-being.

    Best of luck - Pip20 :-)

    1 person found this helpful

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