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Topic: Wanting to speak to a guy that flirted with me when I was sixteen

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. PsychedelicFur
    PsychedelicFur avatar
    326 posts
    17 April 2021

    Hey there, how are you all going? I hope you’ve all had a wonderfully productive but yet somewhat relaxing day, if possible.

    Tonight, I want to speak about missing an individual that flirted with me over text and messages when I was sixteen years of age. He was twenty four at the time. And although nothing sexual happened between us I miss that emotional connection and bond we seemed to share. I knew him personally from my volunteer work. Lately, due to the breakup between my partner and I, I have felt incredibly at ease but also very lonely. Just yearning to speak to someone who understands me etc.

    This individual and I use to speak ALL of the time. Flirt a lot too. He was in a relationship at the time so maybe that was actually very wrong and toxic of him. I should not of spoken to him and flirted in that way if he was in a romantic relationship but he use to say ‘I’m leaving her soon’ and ‘things were not working out between us.’
    So I assumed, as a young love struck sixteen year old that he was literally going to leave his girlfriend because they were so ‘miserable’

    It’S not even the fact that I want him back in my life. My ex boyfriend and him were incredibly similar. Both don’t know each other and are actually completely different in several ways. And because I cannot speak to my toxic ex I am craving the conversation and company of someone similar.

    This guy who use to speak to me and I had a falling out because everyone around us claimed he was ‘grooming’ me. Nothing physical ever happened but I suspected it was some form of ‘grooming’

    I just miss the company of people who seemed genuinely quite similar to me.

    I don’t want either of them back in my life. And when I was speaking to this individual when I was sixteen I was struggling, really badly with my anxiety. Worse than now. I was in a very bad headspace back then.

    I recognise that these two individuals are toxic and if I contacted that guy whom I flirted with at sixteen again just to talk to, it would be like taking a hundred steps back. He has a lot of baggage and I am gaining more self respect now after recognising the toxicity of my precious relationship than to settle for half - ass company, mind my French haha.

    Just wanted to vent and let go.
    Feeling a little stuck and lonely,

    PF

  2. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    12306 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to PsychedelicFur

    PF

    I am glad you could express yourself and work logically through your thoughts here.

    When a relationship ends one can be tempted to back to someone who made you feel so comfortable.

    I think yiu are right not to contact but acknowledge why it is tempting. You are lonely and lost and wondering what will happen next.

    when you feel up to it you may socialise and meet people.

    Just give yourself time , you will heal and feel stronger.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. PsychedelicFur
    PsychedelicFur avatar
    326 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Thank you for hearing me out. Hope you are well.
  4. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    5742 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to PsychedelicFur
    Hi. I think wanting (?) to re-establish old friendships is a natural thing. Whether you go through with it is another thing. You mentioned that both relationships were unhealthy. And perhaps the recent breakup is also making you re-evaluate what are looking for in the other person.
    1 person found this helpful
  5. PsychedelicFur
    PsychedelicFur avatar
    326 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    That is correct. I did not fall into the temptation last night. And this morning I have been re-evaluating why I wanted to speak to this individual again. I can sense that if I do get back into contact it will only interfere with my self development and growth.

    Proud of myself. Willpower is a thing apparently. I have not spoken to my toxic ex either in almost a month. Feeling good about it. Doing well!

    1 person found this helpful

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