I posted to you yesterday but the e space gremlins lost my post. I was a bit miffed about it as it had cost me lot to tell you about myself. So I spent the rest of the day trying to get calm again. I will try again.
You asked about what triggered my panic attack. It was something that happened about five years ago and which I thought I was coping with. Unfortunately I came across something that rudely barged into me and sent me back to those years. Not happy Jan. It is combined with a medical condition that was diagnosed a couple of years ago and which has no cure. Several treatments, designed to hold it at bay have already stopped working and I am on my third treatment. It seems to be OK and I am feeling much better. With the previous treatment I ended up in hospital twice, each time for four days, and had a couple of blood transfusions.
Now I have been on this treatment for about two months I am noticing a difference in my energy levels and ability to think a bit more clearly. Unfortunately another problem has cropped up which I think is due in part to a back problem I did not know I had until recently. Ain't life grand? So the resurgence of the old trauma hit me like a ton of concrete. I'm getting a bit calmer.
Glad to hear your psych is helping. It may take a while to get through all the 'stuff' in your life and there will probably be times when you feel you are going backwards. In fact this is an important forward step but unfortunately we cannot see this at the time. I think it's the time we go back and reassure ourselves of what happened and have we got things that have not been dealt with. Not that we think like that usually but I believe that's what happens.
This forum is a great help to many people. None of us are professional although we are experts in our own lives. Knowing someone else has felt like you even if the experience was a bit different is so affirming. We need to know about others before we get into thinking we are the only ones with problems. That's when we believe there is no hope for us, that we are weak and pitiful and no one cares. We care and no one is weak and pitiful. We all deserve as much help as possible and for this help to be given in a non-judgemental way and be freely available. I think we are moving towards this though the progress is slow. We do not have the lunatic asylums of the past.