Thanks for all the posts, it's reassuring to see a lot of how I feel reflected in your blogs. I feel for you all as it’s been a nightmare at times. I'll read more about everyone, but to put my side out there;
I'm just about to hit forty and breezed through life without a worry...until the last 5 years. I have a stressful job, lots of kids, etc but increasingly over a few years had...
Heart issues/palpitations. Went on blood pressure tablets for a bit that helped. Then was in London last year and woke up with H/R >200, ended up in A&E was terrified, couldn't sleep for weeks after as was scared.
That was 9 months ago and now mental health issues have ramped up; feeling confused, dizzy, trapped, like I’m going to fall over when I’m walking or forget speech mid-sentence. Constant headache. Leg twitches as I fall asleep then wake up feeling really anxious. Constantly exhausted.
My GP has tested everything (MRI, bloods, urine test) and always come back fine. Nice to rule things out though.
“Western medicine”. I got a bit better on another medication but stopped due to headaches (maybe interaction with antibiotics). 6 weeks on and headaches continue - wake up endlessly. Arrrggg! I THINK I’m only anxious about being anxious, but I know I over think things and try to fix them as opposed to accept them. I’m probably annoyed at “not being able to cope” given I had been able to for so long.
Mediation. Try 20 mins mediation everyday (Headspace) which I think helps. Even tried Acupuncture and Reiki (the Reiki lady was great to talk to)!
Have made decision to make big lifestyle choice (long service leave, maybe step back from stressful job). Stepping back from a career I’ve worked hard to build which is part of my identity is hard, but I’ve realised not at any cost – happiness and family come higher than status and money. I think the root cause of all this for me was thinking I’m superhuman and just doing more and more. The frog in the saucepan of water who doesn’t realise it’s warming up. My Dad passed away 18 months ago and I think that triggered a feeling of fragility, then not dealing with that, working ever harder – something had to give.
There’s times when I’m terrified that I’ll “be stuck like this” and other times (like just now in reading your blogs) when I realise this is just part of being human – and talking and sharing is a huge way of coping and reducing the anxiety to a manageable sized thing. Thank you all for sharing, chat soon!