Welcome to the forum. Please know this is a safe place to talk about your feelings and thoughts. No one will bully you here or be unkind. We have all experienced a mental illness in our lives and want to help others through their road to recovery.
I was very sad to read your story but pleased you felt able to tell us. What you have described is fairly common, especially when the person concerned has no idea what is wrong or even if something is wrong. Not being able to make friends is very hard so I am pleased you have found several people who can help.
Beyondblue has heaps of information on depression, anxiety and panic attacks which I think you may find useful. Look under The Facts at the top of the page and scroll to the areas you want to look at. You may find it helpful to complete the K10 checklist, print out the result and take it to your psychologist. It's not a diagnostic tool but gives an indication of where you are.
You can download any of the facts sheets and send for the booklets. No charge. Some of the information is designed for family and friends to help them understand what is happening for you. Your friends may be pleased to have a copy and maybe one or two fact sheets to talk about with you. This information is very helpful and accurate. Also have a look under the Get Support tab.
How long have you been seeing the psychologist? Has it been helpful? Like all good relationships it may take a little while for you both to become comfortable but this is true in any relationship. The important thing is to trust him/her.
Your determination to become well is great and I am sure you will get there. It will be a long journey as I know only too well. There is hope. I am here as living proof. My depression was horrendous and like you I had no idea what was happening. A work colleague realised and insisted on taking me to a doctor. The doctor referred me to a psychiatrist. I felt ashamed of seeing him, after all only crazy people needed a psychiatrist. However I persevered and began to see what was happening in my life.
I think I deserved an Oscar for acting like someone without a care in the world.
This is an introductory email. I would love to talk some more with you if you would like.