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Topic: Withdrew my application for a job. Feel like a loser

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. pawsy
    pawsy avatar
    186 posts
    12 May 2021
    I have been unemployed for more than two years. I had an interview last week that went well. Immediately I was swamped by awful anxiety which went on for days. I convinced myself that I would not be able to do the job. That the workplace would be hostile and unsupportive, and I did not have the skills. I tried to tough it out until they let me know one way or another, which they said they would early this week. But then this morning I emailed and withdrew my application. I got a nice reply saying they were sorry I was withdrawing because I was still in the mix. I am sad my anxiety is so intense I seemingly cant take a risk like this job anymore. Feel so alone with my stupid thoughts in my head.
  2. CalmCat
    Valued Contributor
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    CalmCat avatar
    354 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to pawsy

    Hi pawsy,

    Thank you for sharing something so personal with us.

    I'm so sorry to hearing that you get such anxiety when it comes to employment.

    I can sympathies with you as those are common feeling when your out of work. The work place is naturally a nerve-wracking place, but ones you get going everything will be fine, I can assure you! Maybe let them know you've changed your mind again? I really hope you can get a job and over come your anxiety!

    Let us know your thoughts.

    Regards,

    CC

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Giraffe
    Giraffe avatar
    44 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to pawsy
    You’re not a loser, you have anxiety. I hope you manage to get employment soon.
    1 person found this helpful
  4. Sunshine188
    Sunshine188 avatar
    10 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to pawsy

    Hey Pawsy

    Sorry to hear you’ve been feeling anxious.
    You are not a loser! It’s really hard to put yourself out there and go for a job interview when you’re experiencing anxiety.

    At the end of the day - you would have gotten to the interview stage because they thought you had the right skills! I know how hard it can be but try to be kind to yourself...I hope you’ve got some support at the moment.

    all the best

    1 person found this helpful
  5. pawsy
    pawsy avatar
    186 posts
    12 May 2021

    Thank you CalmCat, Giraffe and Sunshine. It's lovely to read your replies, and makes me feel much less alone and less like savagely criticising myself. "Youre not a loser, you have anxiety". That is such a helpful insight.

    Thanks to you all, Pawsy

  6. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    Ggrand avatar
    9046 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to pawsy

    Hello Dear Pawsy..

    I think you done wonderfully good getting to the stage you did with your job application..

    I have anxiety and find it hard to be in crowds or around strangers....

    I am unemployed and nearly at retirement age...A few professionals suggested that I might try volunteer work for a day each week..to get me used to being around people and interact with them....I did get a volunteer job one day a week and it has helped my anxiety....

    Im wondering if doing a day or two each week would be something you might be able to do...Its kind of gradual exposure therapy ..getting used to be around people, talking interacting with them ..Do you think that Volunteering a day here and there might help your anxiety...no pressure..just my thoughts...

    Love you very cute avatar.....

    My kind thoughts Dear Pawsy..

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  7. golden82
    golden82 avatar
    372 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to pawsy

    Hi & welcome Pawsy,

    You are actually pretty awesome to have a) broken thru and applied and b) have been in the running still. I hope u can see how far u got and take confidence in that and use it as a stepping stone. Good on you. Next time hopefully u can hold off from withdrawing any application and who knows how far u may get :)

    2 people found this helpful
  8. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    12 May 2021 in reply to pawsy

    hey pawsy.

    i'm sorry to hear this. i don't think you're stupid or any of the negative things you said. i think it was brave you applied, and admitted it was tough for you and you weren't up to it. maybe since you said they told you you were still in the mix, you could try again at another time, if you wish? no pressure to of course though.

    best of luck.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1311 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to pawsy

    Hi pawsey,

    I understand how debilitating anxiety can be...... I once had severe anxiety OCD.......

    You can learn how to manage your anxiety maybe you could do a mental health plan with your gp and ask for a referral to a psychologist who can give you many strategies in dealing with your anxiety......

    Maybe you could re consider your withdrawal from your job application.... maybe email them again asking to be put back in the mix 😊

    defy your anxiety one thing I learned with anxiety was not to do what it told you to do.... this only reinforces your anxiety....

    good luck

    1 person found this helpful
  10. pawsy
    pawsy avatar
    186 posts
    14 May 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    Thank you. I really appreciate the kind responses. I am struggling with this anxiety, and it's really helpful to hear from others who are having, or have had, this struggle too. I surprised myself by not feeling too bad for the rest of this week (which feels like it's been going on for about a year!). I thought I would beat myself up over this job thing, but actually I see where I was coming from in withdrawing. It wasn't just a freak out, it was partly because the job had some problems too. I mean, it WAS a freakout, but some of the freak out was justified. Anyway, thanks so much forum commenters, your replies meant a lot to me.

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