Welcome to Beyond Blue and well done for reaching out.
One of the things I have always loved about being online, since it began, is the whole social networking thing, such as Facebook, and the online help that is available, like here on Beyond Blue. It feels to me as though the internet, and all that it offers is a 'buffer' between myself and the rest of the 'real' world. I know that some people might see it as a cop-out, but I am now at the stage where I don't care what they think! They are just as entitled to their opinion as am I to mine. Plus, 'they' don't walk in my shoes. I do. As do you walk in your shoes.
What I am trying to say is that there is nothing wrong with who you are, JUST AS YOU ARE!! People make friends and connect with others in a whole variety of ways .... and for some, face-to-face can be a bit too much some days.
Having said all that, it sounds like you've had a bit going on in recent years, and perhaps it might help to develop a mental health plan. You could go see your doctor to get a mental health plan started, and/or perhaps you could go to your local community centre and see what sort of free counseling and support services they offer, yeah? Do you think that might help? Sometimes it's good to talk to someone who is both a professional, and a bit removed from the situation.
Most importantly of all, please stop comparing yourself to others. We all have our very own fingerprints for a reason; because although we humans have much in common, we are also all unique in our own ways.Take me for example; I'm a lefty, so I don't write like others. I didn't get my licence until I was 22, I prefer coffee not tea, I am somewhat obsessive with buying all things BLUE; from kitchen pans, to purses, to shoes, to clothes ... you name it, If I want it, then I want it in the colour BLUE! I like indoors not outdoors (too allergic for outdoors), word search not crosswords ..... so you see? We're all unique. So while maybe while you may want a group of friends, perhaps what you really need is just one or two good quality friends? Perhaps it's more about the quality, rather than the quantity?
Anyway, I don't know if any of that helps or not. I hope it does, even if just a little? In the meantime, you can keep coming back here as much as you like. After all, that's what we are here for.
Take care. I'll be thinking of you. xo