Thanks for your replies Croix and RT. Sorry for the late reply, I wanted to think about how to reply.
My I ask why you go by yourself? Also if I can ask a delicate question do you and you wife have levels of intimacy that satisfy you both?
To be honest, I do not know. I do not know if this is the case but I identify as demisexual and it could be me looking for a connection and may feel I am not getting that romantic connection I had prior; we have both had our work lives change lately. I would like to mention I do not blame them for this lack of connection, we've just both been out of sync for a while.
Do you think you could talk to your partner and see waht suggestions she might have, and also of course how she feels about this. Acknowledging what you do is not the same as being comfortable about it.
Yeah, I have spoken with my partner recently and asked for their take on this and how they feels and again they drove home it was more about why I was going on my own. I have spoken with them about how I am going at the moment and how we're going at the moment; I am not saying we're the perfect couple but we're on good ground (last night we cuddled on the couch like we used to), small steps.
...look at Mental Health Care Plans from your GP...
I am aware of this and have utilised it in the past. I am currently in a line of work that is casual and am looking for something a little more consistent. I will be utilising this as soon as I can.
...you could put the money you would have spent into something that's more important to you.
This is something I discussed. I love video games and I am going to look at having that help me; instead of going out, I play a video game. I also set up a system where I place an amount in out shared account every time I go (the model is $5 for one night of a month, $10 for two, $20 for three, $40 for four, etc.) so that might help.
The last thing that I'll add is that change doesn't have to be about going cold-turkey. It's not black or white... Making the steps easier is going to give you the best chance possible at keeping it up long term.
This is something I need to remember. I used to try to think something either is or is not and this ended up creating plenty of internal frustrations and me not knowing how to manage it. I will take small steps to see how I can go.
I feel better knowing I can talk with people about this. Thank you both again for your take on this, I appreciate you both for taking the time to post.