Welcome to the Healthy Families forums!

This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own!

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community and have a read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

  • share on Facebook
  • share on Twitter
  • Print page

Topic: Alone

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. Shamie
    Shamie avatar
    3 posts
    3 June 2020

    I would like first to say hello to everyone, hope you are all safe. I am alone. I have no family, nor any friends. Anxiety and depression are severe and make it difficult to relate to anyone. Whilst relief teaching I was able to cope with being alone as the interaction was enough. I am not able to do that anymore with the present crisis so I am constantly at home. My living situation is unpleasant and adds to the isolation. I have tried many things over the years, from psychiatrists, psychologists, men's groups, therapy groups and more. All have been failures for me. I do not relate well to others as I feel judged always. I know this is not always the case, however, it is real all to often. I am safer alone, but not from myself. I do wish that I could relate to someone. I have come close to deleting this post. Just lonely.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    3434 posts
    3 June 2020 in reply to Shamie

    Hi Shamie,

    Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we're so glad you decided to join us here. We're so sorry to hear how lonely you have been feeling. We empathise with how difficult it must be to no longer be able to interact with others through your relief teaching at the moment. But please know that this is a safe and non-judgemental space, and our community is here to support you through this. 

    If you feel it might be useful, we'd also encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. This website is regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You are also welcome to call our dedicated support line, which is staffed by mental health professionals and is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.

    You are not alone here- many of our members have felt similar and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. Please feel free to keep checking in here on your thread to let us know how you're going whenever you feel up to it.
     
     

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Nurse Jenn
    Health professional
    • Health professional
    Nurse Jenn avatar
    427 posts
    4 June 2020

    Hi Shamie,

    Sorry to hear you are going through this. It sounds like you have lots of great skills and qualities such as doing teaching which is such an important job as well as your persistence in trying to find the best supports towards your own healing and recovery. The fact that you didn't delete this post is a great testament to that.

    I wonder when you will be able to go back to teaching again? Do you have any timeframe at which this can occur I also wonder if there have been any times in your past when your felt that you could connect better with people? Sometimes finding a connection with people can occur in less obvious places like a volunteering role or a hobby you might have outside of work? Sometimes making connections takes practice and that's why some of the therapy groups and mens sheds are often recommended. When when you start practicing in a supported environment often it becomes a bit easier to do in other areas of your life. I have heard of a new free program called eFriend that you might be interested in . Here is the site if you are interested. https://efriend.org.au

    Trial and errors of different strategies especially over such a long period of time can be so frustrating. Compounded with the isolation of being in the height of a global pandemic - this is extra hard. You have come to the forum with an openness to try something new which is so brave. Please keep posting here and tell us more of how you if it feels right. We are listening.

    Sending you strength,

    Nurse Jenn

    2 people found this helpful
  4. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    13385 posts
    5 June 2020 in reply to Shamie

    Hello Shamie, can I just say that you won't be judged here on the forums, simply because we have been in our own situation, where we believe that no one will know what we're talking about or understand the circumstances we're in, and believing that it's our fault.

    Depression is not your fault and please remember that making any lifestyle changes can be difficult for someone who is feeling depressed, and what it needs is a connection between you and the person you're talking to before help can be achieved.

    Take care.

    Geoff.

    3 people found this helpful
  5. Shamie
    Shamie avatar
    3 posts
    11 June 2020 in reply to Nurse Jenn
    Thanks Nurse Jenn, It has taken me a few days to look at this site again and it was nice to read your post. In answer to your question, I have never been able to communicate well, I was pushed aside as a child, shoved in a corner as such and I feel it has been that way all my life because of my difficulty in understanding others emotions. I suspect I have some kind of psychological issue that causes this. All I ever can do is be kind, but this has led only to being bullied, an easy thing to do to me as I only retreat and do not counter such things. I am and have always been afraid of adults, even though I am one. I have tried men's groups and come to grief. I will try the website you recommend, my anxiety is high which makes doing anything difficult, but there is in me a determination to find answers. Thanks, James
    1 person found this helpful
  6. josh1245
    josh1245 avatar
    173 posts
    12 June 2020 in reply to Shamie
    Hey Shamie I would firstly like to welcome you to this amazing online community and I would like to appuald You for your incredible strength and bravery in asking for help and support we’re here for you. I’m reallt sorry that you are going through such a difficult time at the moment and feel like your alone but your not alone you have us and we are here for you every step of the way.
    1 person found this helpful
  7. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    2202 posts
    12 June 2020 in reply to Shamie

    Shamie said:Thanks Nurse Jenn, It has taken me a few days to look at this site again and it was nice to read your post. In answer to your question, I have never been able to communicate well, I was pushed aside as a child, shoved in a corner as such and I feel it has been that way all my life because of my difficulty in understanding others emotions. I suspect I have some kind of psychological issue that causes this. All I ever can do is be kind, but this has led only to being bullied, an easy thing to do to me as I only retreat and do not counter such things. I am and have always been afraid of adults, even though I am one. I have tried men's groups and come to grief. I will try the website you recommend, my anxiety is high which makes doing anything difficult, but there is in me a determination to find answers. Thanks, James

    Dear James

    I'm so happy to welcome you to the forums. You are SO WELCOME and I know that you will find others here who you can relate to. It can be the beginning of trying again. Please come back often and read other's threads! You will find so many people feel as you do.

    HIGH FIVE for choosing such a noble career. Such a giving career. Thankyou for looking after our beautiful children. You have a beautiful soul. You're CLEARLY an intelligent man and show discipline to have completed your degree.

    I'm concerned about your depression. I'm glad you are too and have reached out here. You can take "us" anywhere you go, remember these experiences you're having are shared by many here and globally right now.

    I see the long list of professionals you've sought help from in the past, well done for doing that - we know you can do it again with a DIFFERENT approach.

    You sound like quite a "systematic" person. You've said you have difficulty 'reading' other's emotions. You've been cut off from others and been bullied.

    I think the people you've sought help from in the past have missed something too.
    You can share anything here anonymously. Have you been diagnosed with anything in the past?

    You are SO going to beat this James! You are young and healthy. You have great quals and the world needs great people like you.

    I'll be back to see what you say.

    Love EM

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Shamie
    Shamie avatar
    3 posts
    13 June 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Thank you Em, those were lovely words. Systematic is true in many respects, but I do love to learn. That's systematic too though!

    My depression worries me. I do not wish to die before my time, however, the darkness can seem to be the only way out at times. Yesterday was like that. I just draw when I am overtaken by the desire to end things. It works for now, however, this loneliness is weakening my resolve. Most of the reason to come here is to stay alive. To stop being alone. To be able to smile upon encountering a friend. I am drawing a kid's book on the Corona Virus and that sustains me - and I keep redrawing it so as not to finish and have nothing to do.

    I have not had any diagnosis apart from depression and anxiety, I do suspect ASD or some such thing. I went to a psychologist to ask about that, but after asking each time and the request not being answered, I gave up. It would explain much about my life.

    Thanks to all who have shared with me, none of you seem scary. Thanks again EM, James

    1 person found this helpful
  9. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    2202 posts
    14 June 2020 in reply to Shamie

    Dear James

    I think you could be onto something with the idea of ASD. Ofcourse I don't know you and could not possibly diagnose you but there are specific indicators you've spoken of.

    Being 'high functioning' may have meant that some professionals have overlooked ASD.

    Maybe you could phone 1800RESPECT and get some names of professionals who could help you, what do you think? They are AMAZING counsellors and psychologists. If you feel uncomfortable on your first call, you can call back and get a different person. Myself and others I know have phoned them lots of times and they have ALWAYS been spot on. They are open 24/7.

    A lady I know has only JUST been diagnosed with ASD last week. She's almost 40yo! No wonder she has struggled with certain aspects of life. She is SO happy she has some answers now, so many things make sense to her. She has been an ED Nurse and extremely intelligent and witty. She is now in the process of receiving NDIS funding.

    Have you spoken to your GP about your depressive feelings?

    I think your children's book on Covid sounds AMAZING!
    Please think of your next book so you can finish this one.
    Scholastic are always after new book titles for kids ;-)

    I'm not sure how you feel about this, but have you thought of taking a teaching position "anywhere in the state"?

    I took a leap of faith doing this for my career a number of decades ago and it put me in good stead forever lol.

    Please let us know how you get on. I'm actually pretty excited for you.

    EM

  10. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    13385 posts
    14 June 2020 in reply to Shamie

    Hello James, thanks for getting back to us.

    Drawing and doodling was also something I would do, but to draw a book on COVID-19 would be fantastic for the many years ahead for those young kids who then become adults to read and understand.

    Having weeks off school only seems to be another holiday for them, not realising the full extent of why, so well done.

    Do you actually colour them as well?

    Geoff.

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up