I think you could be onto something with the idea of ASD. Ofcourse I don't know you and could not possibly diagnose you but there are specific indicators you've spoken of.
Being 'high functioning' may have meant that some professionals have overlooked ASD.
Maybe you could phone 1800RESPECT and get some names of professionals who could help you, what do you think? They are AMAZING counsellors and psychologists. If you feel uncomfortable on your first call, you can call back and get a different person. Myself and others I know have phoned them lots of times and they have ALWAYS been spot on. They are open 24/7.
A lady I know has only JUST been diagnosed with ASD last week. She's almost 40yo! No wonder she has struggled with certain aspects of life. She is SO happy she has some answers now, so many things make sense to her. She has been an ED Nurse and extremely intelligent and witty. She is now in the process of receiving NDIS funding.
Have you spoken to your GP about your depressive feelings?
I think your children's book on Covid sounds AMAZING!
Please think of your next book so you can finish this one.
Scholastic are always after new book titles for kids ;-)
I'm not sure how you feel about this, but have you thought of taking a teaching position "anywhere in the state"?
I took a leap of faith doing this for my career a number of decades ago and it put me in good stead forever lol.
Please let us know how you get on. I'm actually pretty excited for you.