Still reading through but l have a situation too and l'd love to hear any thoughts . A bit like L's , actually, to do or not to do.
We aren't together anymore , l've actually been with someone else now awhile but that's been on hold as she's been interstate 5mths with legal problems. l met ex though nearly 4yrs ago a few yrs after both our divorces and it was a beautiful and bizarre thing between us , but l also noticed things with her from day one too.
She'd be so full of love and adoration we both were , we couldn't believe it , and we mostly got along incredibly , but she had another side and one minute pushing us , this thing, me for it all , wants to move over, the lot, next she's saying stupid things, ugly, put downs , us put downs , out of nowhere , it usually caused a fight and we'd be off again. l knew nothing about bpd back then. We were on off a dozen times in 2yrs , full of love adoration excitement , next min' stupid things, she was insanely sensitive , paranoid, word twists, we were long distance 70% of the time so a lot of messaging and one word, could set her off, usually nothing.
She also flipped on a coin, once l was setting up to go over to hers, other side of the world mind you , we were so exited it'd been a few mths since together last , she was making all these plans even cooking , next, we were nothing, she hadn't felt it for 6mths, cancel the trip and l should go meet new women , just wtf , yaknow. Just to name just a few.
Well, we got back on again , and blew up again. But about 2mths ago we started talking again. l was still her rx , l always had been , will be forever, she can't think or go out with anyone else and we were almost back to an old us. And 5wks, no implosions, she even admitted small things and she's pushing like crazy to come see me, boom. Next minute she said some silly thing, pure insults , then another , another another. next she's pure anger and just talking pure shyt . Well l lost it things got uglier and l told her l'd had enough of her bs and she could go and ummm, well. ! You couldn't cuddle her she'd tell you you had no pride shame what's wrong with you.
That was 2wks ago . No sign of her or me her. l've felt terrible, l hated that we ended like that , and that , if it is bpd well , l guess l did what she was afraid of, l dunno.
l've wanted to write to her, apologize, tell her l;ll always care about her, or something. Not to get back , l'm not living like that , but l dunno . Should l ?