No problem smallwolf, it's a life that not many understand (even people who work in the Navy don't really understand it).
I was on a ship as well, though I'll keep the name secret for privacy reasons. While I didn't particularly love it, I made some good friends before I was medically pulled away for my mental health.
The shore position is awful. 11 hour days and 13 nights with barely any time to get my body clock in check before having to swap when I am working. I understand this is the life of shift work, but my medication makes me drowsy so it's a struggle to cope with the hours. When I asked about possible positions that would work normal ADF day hours I was told it would not happen unless I was posted way, which noting the current state of our borders I would not like. My partner is also in the services so we barely see each other as it is, so being stuck across the border from her just to work better hours is not worth it.
The work itself is dull. Just basic administrative work, nothing like the job I signed up for. There is a high turnover of people that come in and out of this particular station, so I am constantly having to fix the mistakes of the new people and by the time I train them they leave and I have to do it all over again. Hours spent fixing other people's mistakes in a job that I despise. It gets very grating and I usually cry on my way to work. 11 or 13 hours is a long time to feel uncomfortable and that's how I feel whenever I am in my uniform. It makes me feel sick.
I was hopeful that I would receive the help I needed from the psychologists, but thus far I feel as though they have been pushing an agenda. Just last week my psyche told me that no one would take me seriously if I kept putting on weight, as fat people are looked down on in society. Struggling with my eating disorder was hard enough, so thanks for the kind words there...
It may sound silly, but I don't trust anything ADF related. I know there are support places for current serving members and veterans, but I feel uncomfortable talking to anyone about my feelings if I know they're associated with the ADF.
I know all of my problems won't be solved by leaving, nothing is that easy, but just not having to conform to these standards anymore and being able to be my own person again will be freeing enough to let me deal with my own issues. Never felt the urge to do anything crazy, but after 3 years with a military haircut all I want to do is dye it some crazy colour!