I find you to be a truly amazing person, I really do. You are incredible in the way you have managed everything that's sabotaged your efforts.
When it comes to your old workplace, first thing that comes to mind is 'What a lazy bunch of people!' They'd much rather you deal with the obvious problem than them having to work out what makes the healthiest workplace environment for all. They've kept employed the person who will go on to most likely make another woman's life a living hell.
When it comes to whoever put you on the meds you're struggling with, what is their story? You deserve much better than to be basically functional. They're ignorant if they're ignoring the need to put you on a different med. If it's a matter of they just don't know you're experiencing these side effects, it's definitely something you need to mention. Adding external chemistry (in a med) to your own internal chemistry should produce a positive chemical reaction not a negative one.
Lock downs, hmm. I live in Melbourne and it's almost intolerable, when it comes to certain mental health challenges that ongoing lock downs present. I'm all for constructive lock downs. It's the destructive type that trigger me, in more ways than one. As I watch more and more people break the rules of lock down, I know some of them are basically arrogant, selfish and thoughtless whereas others just can't tolerate the mental anguish anymore. While the purpose of these lock downs is, of course, to save lives based on the physical threat of COVID, the question remains for some 'Are these lock downs worth dying for?' as their depression worsens. For some, who have broken the rules, the answer is 'No'. Such people have broken the rules to save their life. I feel this is something the Victorian government is gradually coming to acknowledge. Took 'em a while.
The reason I find you so amazing is based on the fact that you have succeeded in managing every oppressive and depressing action of the people around you. Their 'management strategies' are seriously lacking in positive strategy. It is their lack of management skills that should be questioned.
It was some years ago where I recall waking up out of depression to find that it was the people around me who were somewhat insane. This proved to be a grounding exercise when it came to recognising the extent of my own inner sanity. What I'd been dealing with for all those years (in depression) was naturally depressing and that was what I was feeling.